Danger Barbies story

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#1 Oct 13 - 11AM
DangerBarbie
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Danger Barbies story

I met my ex the first day I moved to university aged 18. He made it clear he was interested but had a girlfriend at the time. I really liked him but knocked him back until he eventually split with his girlfriend at the time.

We had the most amazing year together. Im not naïve but I genuinely though he was the ‘one’. I stayed at his parents’ house; we laughed, cried and did everything together. Throughout I heard whispers and rumours of him with other girl but he always talked them away really convincingly. He made me feels o safe and special and used to boast about how as a couple ‘we turn heads’ and that all his friends found me attractive. His ex constantly sent me horrible messages and would post things on the web that were obviously about me clearly because she was addicted to him and wanted a scape goat for him leaving her.

One night I went to a club with friends and saw him there when he had told me he was at home for the weekend. He was with a female friend from home. I sat with her and she told me how he had never liked a girl this much before and she made me promise we would never split because I was so good for him. I later found out that he slept with her that night after the whole convosation.

I also found out that he slept with another girl who was a friend of mine and she just kept it quite along with his ex-girlfriend who had been making my life hell since they broke up at the beginig.

When it all came out it felt like my world had fallen apart. I was so angry but he never understood why i as so upset he thought sorry was enough. The day I came to collect my things he cried and threw things around saying that if I left him he’d have nothing. It ended in him being hysterical to the point that he sat on the floor and couldn’t speak anymore.

I then moved back home and didn’t hear much from him. He then began contacting me saying he wanted me to help him change and when I pointed out how empty and cheap his behaviour was he would cry.

About 3 months passed and we kept in contact but never met up. He began to ignore me again which was so painful because I felt it wasn’t fair. As soon as I started seeing a new guy I got texts like ‘do you remember where we were on this date’ or ‘I’ve just put the picture you gave me up in my new room I can’t wait for you to see it’.

After the summer passing I came back to uni and as soon as I bumped into him for the first time he started asking me to meet him to talk about what had happened. I agreed and this stupidly slipped back into dates. For my 20th he took me shopping and for a meal where he ordered ‘your most expensive bottle of wine’. I think I almost thought he had changed then one night we all went to a club me with my netball team him with his course mates and we agreed to meet after. I bumped into him dancing with a girl who turned out to be his ‘course mates’. I asked him what his problem was and how would he feel if I acted like that with my ‘friends’ he kept saying not to be jealous and that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. I got so infuriated at his lack of compassion I walked away and for the rest of the evening had to choke back tears everything he walked past with his arms round her.

That was last Wednesday and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s killing me and I don’t know why. Why does he seem to want me so badly then do things that he knows I will see and won’t like? How do I become strong enough to stay away from him and what do I do now? Will he text or is this it till the next awkward time I bump into him? I really need help im desperate and its making me ill.

Oct 30 - 6PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Why?

Why does he do things he knows you won't like & that he knows you may find out about? Well, first of all, he doen't care whether you like what he does or not. Two, men like this DO NOT think abou the future consequences of their actions. They think: Immediate Gratification. And he will continue to do this because you let him. You took him back last time. And he believes you will do it again. Somehow you are useful to him. These men need a "constant" home supply while they romp around with playmates. This one will come back & back for as long as you allow. Only HE decides when it is over finally. I wonder? Have you ever thought to speak to the woman who was his girlfriend when you appeared at the uni? This woman may have some very interesting insights & perhaps similar experiences. Some women get angry at the guy -- some women get angry at the woman who is with her guy.
Oct 29 - 5PM
DangerBarbie
DangerBarbie's picture

Surprise Surprise

This week a really nice guy ive known for a while asked me on a date. We went to a local club where most students go on a wednesday with some freidns where we ended up kissing. I then get a text from the narc out of the blue saying 'Hey how are you? Im missing you!!! xxx' is it a coincidence that he gets in contact as soon as another guy shows interest?
Oct 29 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Wow...I can't tell you how

Wow...I can't tell you how many times I have been contacted by the narc at the strangest times. I believe there is a connection like magnetism, polarity, positive and negative...whatever...it has been very erie sometimes. ds
Oct 16 - 12PM
Femmegem
Femmegem's picture

stay away Barbie

Hi Danger Barbie, I completely understand how you must have felt. He isn't worth any more of your tears. He isn't capable of the love you deserve, he just doesn't want to lose your attention after knowing how much you cared for him. I know it's hard but the ONLY way to fight this is to maintain NC. Even if he texts please don't fall for it, ignore him he only cares for himself.
Oct 13 - 11AM
DangerBarbie
DangerBarbie's picture

i was fairly sure he was a

i was fairly sure he was a narc after the break up i read an article and though omg it could be written about him. Does this mean he will eventualy text me? i hate not being able to read him or prepare myself. Or will he only be interested when i find another guy? Thanks so much for your help :) xxxx
Oct 14 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Start reading... Google..

Start reading... Google.. Idealize,devalue,discard Hunter I'm sorry to report.. He doesnt care about you, he only cares about himself.. and supply .. You must move on and to do that NC Is your only option!! Hunter
Oct 13 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Oh God!! Here we go

Oh God!! Here we go again!! Sorry honey , what you describe is typical Narc behavior.. Looks like you will live in Narcville with the rest of us!! You need to read and stay away from him!! Hunter
Oct 13 - 11AM
Used
Used's picture

Danger Barbie

hi barbie, welcome to the forum, he is doing this to see how much you will put up with...you have put up with to much already...he will never go back to the person you met... i am sorry to say this, he will want you when you meet another guy, cos they love the challange and getting you back.....he is a player and useing you as one of his pawns...his crying when you left him means nothing....thats what they do...he soon picked him self up again didnt he....you are so much better off with out him..if you stay with him,he will ramp it up even morexxx