Weird question!! Did your Narc make intense eye contact during sex? Do I have intimacy problems

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#1 Oct 11 - 12AM
KeshaN
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Weird question!! Did your Narc make intense eye contact during sex? Do I have intimacy problems

I know this question is totally irrelevant. But sense the N is so afraid of intimacy I thought I ask this.

My NH stares me dead in the eyes during sex. He never looks anywhere else. Its not even my face he is staring at it is deep into my eyes.

I had a hard time doing the same. I tried but I couldn't. Why is that? Why couldn't I, a person who wants intimacy, look him in the eyes and he, a person who is supposedly afraid of intimacy, stare me in the eyes?

Am I afraid of intimacy?

May 23 - 2AM
kavya
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Dark Black Eyes

May 23 - 5AM (Reply to #28)
Lisa E. Scott
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Good description, Kavya

Mar 15 - 5PM
Natashroom
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My N used to stare me in the

Mar 12 - 11AM
fooled no longer
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oh the eyes turning black

Mar 11 - 8PM
greengirl91
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For me personally, I recently

Mar 5 - 9AM
dudette
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his would turn black as he was strangling me

Mar 5 - 12PM (Reply to #23)
pamela1
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Mine also had black eyes. I

Mar 4 - 3AM
midnight7
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The xN almost never looked me

Mar 3 - 10PM
janemarie
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Could it be their sense of

Mar 12 - 2PM (Reply to #20)
dudette
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the fear

Mar 3 - 10PM
walking_on_sunshine
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Yes, and I felt like he was

Mar 3 - 11AM
tootsgee
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yes yes yes!! and he talked

Mar 3 - 11AM
ggbabi45
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All the time! Even when we

Oct 15 - 3AM
ifinallygotit
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yes always

he would gaze lovingly and intensely into my eyes when we made love - i mistook this for deep intimacy and thought we had a soul connection - I loved it! so sad that I did not understand anything that was going on, until at least 6 months after he abandoned me - I really thought the guy loved me, really! this eye stuff was just part of his act of how to be a good lover and he was proud that women like him so much
Oct 12 - 6AM
gettinbetter
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The intense eye contact is

The intense eye contact is about establishing dominance.
Oct 11 - 7PM
ValiditySeeker
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In the beginning, yes

Then later he would place his hand over my face, covering much of it and press down. It pissed me off and I asked him wtf was that about. He said that he had an ex who really liked for her face to be touched while kissing so he thought I'd like it, too. (Subtle attempt to make me jealous?) I pointed out that he wasn't gently cupping my cheek or stroking my face, he was covering my face almost completely with his hand! It was almost hostile. It meant he really did MOT want to look at me at all. Why didn't I leave earlier, again?
Mar 3 - 10PM (Reply to #13)
walking_on_sunshine
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creepy basterd :(

Oct 11 - 2PM
Crazy Train
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Nope, never. He always wanted

Nope, never. He always wanted the room dark and his eyes were always closed. Our bodies NEVER touched, except for the obvious. The positions were always orchestrated by him. And the ending was always, how do I say, completed by his own hand and NEVER inside me. Which now makes total sense after the facts that I've learned about N's and their preferred method!
Oct 11 - 11AM
rosedewittbukater
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eye contact

Yes mine always looked deep in my eyes during. She in general had a piercing gaze or stare which somehow hypnotized me. This is a well documented thing with psychopaths. Not saying yours is that, but I have read about this in Sandra Brown's book. As for your difficulty with this, just can't say.
Mar 3 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
walking_on_sunshine
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Funny, I used to the same

Oct 11 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
into the light
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When mine was on top - yes,

When mine was on top - yes, he stared fixedly and wanted me to keep my eyes open. It was the thing that really freaked me out a bit at the start, but, unfortunately, I got used to it. In fact, his eyes BULGED OUT. Not a good look: like a crazy madman. Well, he was.
Oct 11 - 1AM
scsweetie
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Not weird at all

My narc always wanted me to look at him when we were face to face during sex. He would even turn my head so i would have to look into his eyes. I never knew why but i guess it was a control thing?
Mar 5 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
Phoenix72
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Mine did the same thing! He

Oct 11 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
Syren66 (not verified)
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Mine looked at everything but

Mine looked at everything but my face for the most part...and my favorite was him calling me "babe"...I told him to knock it off..when asked "why?"...I replied..."are you afraid you're going to screw up and blurt out some other woman's name? If not, then use MINE...do not ever call me "babe" again!" Of course, sex was something that became very tedious for me and I lost interest...everything...every time....had to be orchestrated and planned. And THEN...if it lasted more than 2 minutes, it was a miracle. I was accused of being 'frigid' because I lost interest...funny, but I'd hump a tree right now, so my libido is firmly in tact...I just lost interest in him! :D
Oct 11 - 1AM
Amiee
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Interesting

My experience is quite the opposite. Before he started collecting other women he used to look at me during sex and seemed to be focused on me. Once he came back from New York in August, when he first hooked up from what I can tell, he closed his eyes or wanted sex from behind. I believe so he couldn't look me in the face and he was fantasizing about someone else..
Mar 12 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
Trainwreck56
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X-Psycho never looked into my eyes!

Mar 14 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
SundaySmile
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yup

Mar 14 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
Trainwreck56
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Sunday, I feel your pain!