Wisdomneeded's Story

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#1 Sep 27 - 6PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Wisdomneeded's Story

Yep... that is why I never shared my story before. I always felt silly that I was not the immediate victim - My Daughter is. But the issues that ensued as a result of her relationship with the N almost destroyed her and the relationships she had with everyone around her.

When the one girl posted that her sister had committed suicide on Tuesday it hit me like a ton of bricks - as the mom of a child who had a relationship with someone with NPD I kept thinking that could have been my daughter. It is such a helpless feeling. The SOB of a Narc used to talk to me so I would encourage her to give him a second chance. The evil surrounding them is unbelievable. Sometimes my daughter will say....I really do not get how someone could be so evil to people.

I am not sharing the entire story, but I woke up feeling the need to share one. I woke up shaking my head about the whole damn thing.

My daughter was 17 and the N had just turned 19...he lived about 15 minutes away in a dorm (that would be the one my daughter begged him to get because of his enmeshment to his mom). Living in the typical midwest region our winters are pretty lousy so we had a blizzard a few days before. A FEW DAYS MEANS - streets were clear. Not perfect, but if we were waiting for that it would be spring.

The N wanted to see my daughter so he dug out his car and drove over for a visit. WUH! OH! his mom made a surprise visit at the dorm to drop off a gallon of milk. She made it through the security doors and waited anD knocked on his actual dorm door to get his attention.

That is when his cell phone started to ring...the story he eventually told his mom was that he went into the men's bathroom on his floor and FELL ASLEEP....SERIOUSLY? What the hell. What 19 year old boy has to tell his mom that.

Of course what ensued was a massive D & D with my daughter. Every SINGLE TIME HE LIED TO HIS MOM HE TOOK HIS VIOLENT ANGER OUT ON MY DAUGHTER....

He could have just told my daughter I promised my mom I would not drive in this weather - mind you this is the boy who has been having sex since he was 14 years old. Taking the virginity from at least 4 girls.

HMMMMMMMMMMMM! BET HIS MOM DOES'T KNOW THAT...driving in the snow is dangerous well what he is doing to young women is MORE!

Oct 2 - 1PM
malagadoll
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I'm sorry to hear that the N

I'm sorry to hear that the N used to manipulate you, I went through the same thing with my N and my mom and after 5 years of tourment and 7 months of depression post-breakup, my mom regrets letting him manipulate her to this day. But you can't feel bad they are the masters of what they do and even now my mom admits that even though she would sometimes try to warn me to leave him it was my decision only and she would have only damaged our relationship by fighting with me about it. I hope your daughter has found ways to move on and know that the worlds not full of N's. I wish her the best in her recovery!
Oct 1 - 8AM
Sparrow
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how is your daughter now? I

how is your daughter now? I hope she is away from him and recovered.
Oct 7 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
wisdomneeded
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thank you for asking Sparrow ~

It was actually an horrific summer. Our relationship was extremely strained for awhile. The narc hovered at the end of May proclaiming his love again. 2 days after the phone call he had oral sex with one of her friends. He took every mutual friend they had away. She retaliated by driving two kids over to silly string his car. The narc called his mommy who called the police. All of this occurred at the end of June. My daughter and I are finally at a healing stage between us. I was furious she had broken no contact. It seemed like it took that incident to show her what a jerk he really was. I think that is what actually began her healing. We leave Monday by train to New York (the narc had wanted her to give up this opportunity) she will begin college and a new life. These guys are so evil....no contact is the only way to recovery.
Sep 27 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Read the book "when's he

Read the book "when's he married to mom" Kenneth M Adams You will see the light! Hunter
Sep 29 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
wisdomneeded
wisdomneeded's picture

Hunter and Goldie

Hunter, thank you for the book suggestion - I will read it. Goldie, thank you for putting my story under the correct forum topic :) I realized as soon as I pushed submit that I put it under the wrong heading LOL!