Chele007's Story

I will apologize in advance for the long message...here goes.

I was engaged to an N a few years back. He fits EVERYTHING....except the verbal abuse. He complimented me, cooked, cleaned...and made me feel like THE most special woman he has ever laid his eyes upon. He was divorced 2x prior to me....his first wife, and I got along great...still do. He had 2 older kids with her. His second wife and I didn't get along. As a matter of fact, had never met formally. They shared a younger daughter. She absolutely despised the ground he walked on. He swore to GOD that he NEVER cheated on her...and the reason they divorced was because she didn't like his 2 older children. Well, he was VERY clingy.....and affectionate...but something didn't sit well with me....I had a 'feeling' SOMETHING might be up...like there was more to the story. I got into his work email, and sifted through tons of mail...and found ONE email that simply said....'i wish i never would have fallen in love with you'.....she had a work signature, so I proceeded to look her up in the court records website and discovered she was the same age as his oldest daughter!!! She was 19 at this time. I thought...hmmmm...maybe she had a mad crush on him or something...because they DID live across the street from one another. So, I sent him an email from HIS account, to him...simply saying...are you sure there is nothing that I should know???..printed off the email, and her addy and took off. My phone blew UP. He was panic stricken. His first ex called, and left me a VM saying that she was sorry she didn't tell me...but this girl has issues, and that she was concerned for him because he's realllly upset and that he might hurt himself. So, I knew something big was about to be unraveled. I proceeded to call her at the phone number on the email, and I asked her how she knew him. I told her who I was. She was hesitant, but she talked. Here.....he had an AFFAIR with her which started when she was 17 years old!!!! She was his daughter's best friend. He, and his wife were friends with her parents! While his wife would sleep upstairs, she would jump the fence and they would have sex in the basement!!! He told her he LOVED her. The wife found out, and threw him out.....and he still continued this lewd affair with this girl, who by this time was 18. It didn't end, until he, and I started seeing one another! Well, I got home, and he had left work...he was SOBBING uncontrollably. Just then, his second ex called, and I said, I want to talk to her!!! He gave me the phone, and her and I talked for an hour. SHE told me he was a text book narcissist. The details were alarming, and I wanted to die. WHO was this guy? He wanted to go to counseling...and it seemed to really be working....UNTIL.....so many other LITTLE lies that were sooo dumb kept coming out. Like...his first ex had a darker complexion...the first time I met her I asked what nationality she was. He said he had no clue...he didn't know her mom....why? I said, she looks like she might be hispanic or of indian descent? He had no clue. So, one day I was looking at his oldest daughter's FB, and she had a pic on there of her, and a black little girl...said cousins. I was like...hmmmm, huh? I knew his family, and nobody was african american. He said that his first ex's mom was half white, and half african american. Oh, ok...that would explain what I had initially wondered. No big deal. So, one day his daughter says...I'm a quarter black...maybe I can get a scholarship for something or another. He said...no you aren't! She said...yeah....grandma is black, grandpa is white. I was like...I thought your grandma was half black...she said...'nope....as black as the ace of spades'.....it wasn't about her being a mixed race...it was that he LIED. So, then he had a brother, who was the same age as his daughter. I said, wow....was it cool that your wife, and your mom were pregnant at the same time??? He said he didn't remember.....but he was always working. So, I asked his ex about being prego at the same time as her mother in law. She looked at me and said....YOU DON'T KNOW? Mind you...we were living together, ENGAGED etc...and I said know what? Well, turns out that his brother wasn't his mom's son. He was the result of an affair, and she was just raising him since birth. WTF. WHY lie about crap like that??? Seriously? I was pretty embarrassed that I didn't know. I confronted him, and he started to cry. Well, all trust was questionable by that time, and it got worse. He started to get very distant....COLD....like a shell. When I'd try to talk to him it was like there was NOTHING behind his eyes. He ended up getting an apt of his own, and the month he was in the house was HELL. Silence. Cold. Me crying, begging, pleading...asking for the old Scott to come back. I was actually so pathetic at one point that I grabbed his leg, and begged him not to leave. BARF. So, after about 2 weeks of that...the other 2 weeks I was angry.....I wanted him OUT. The NIGHT BEFORE he was to move out, he gets on his knees, and grabs the back of my legs and tells me that I'm the only one he wants to be with and to forgive him for being such a dick. He called my son, and apologized and told him that we were going to work things out. The next day he moved out as planned....and literally....OVER NIGHT.....he was gone. No formal break up.....not in email, phone nothing! I was shell shocked! I had no clue what the hell just happened???? With him, I literally had to KILL him in my mind. The person I fell in love with, was DEAD. He no longer existed. Took a loooong time, but now......COULD I possibly be with another N? Again, sorry about the rambling. Will type more after I'm done feeding my little guy. I'm so happy I found this site!