Sunrise's Story

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Aug 8 - 7AM
sunrise
sunrise's picture

Sunrise's Story

What a God send this forum is to me. After being d&d and dropping to a hundred pounds and could not articulate what was happening to me. All I knew was for the last fifteen years I felt as I was going mad! His main complaint about me and why he was leaving me was that I talked to my friends about our marriage. He didn't mention his "alleged" 5 affairs or the insane amount of abuse he tormented me with. I could write a novel on his behavior...to the extent of wanting to leave this world. And his reaction..." you are just doing this to get attention to manipulate people into believing the supposed abuse I have given you". I could give a million one liners...I don't need to "FUCK" you because you are my wife...All it would be is a screw, that means no feelings are in it. If you would be nicer, have dinner, and my laundry done I would have sex with you or be affectionate.
AHHHHHHH I want to rip off my own head so I can stop these horrible one liners from going on and on..."I would have killed to work out a marriage with you if you didn't make such a big deal about the accused affair "( Umm I sat in my bed for six months while the whole neighborhood talked about it because she lived in the next street and a member of the same church)
I need some advice because my N who now filed for divorce is a LCSW and a therapist! Talk about one who can twist and turn, manipulate and use their "education" against you. Also, he has all the "credentials" to diagnose if someone is crazy. Which he has told everyone I know that I am a "fucking crazy bitch". I feel I am fighting a no win battle first with a N and then with a educated N...
I will write my whole story but I don't know if there is enough time in my life to cover all the "crazy" making he has done...Oh by the way he told me he wanted to go to my therapy with me because he knows me better than anyone and can help my therapist in helping me through MY issues...
MY issues was HIM!
This is the last of my rant to help in any further thoughts...I am LDS or a mormon where family and being totally faithful to your spouse is the utmost highest priority in our religion. For a man to cheat is a huge blow to his standing or "reputation" to everyone in the church. The woman with who the "alleged" affair was with is also a member. We are a very tight community due to the fact that most everyone in the area is of the same religion so word spreads pretty darn fast around. So not only is his reputation of a therapist on the line here but his reputation of being a good member of the church in question...can you imagine the N injury to him and the rage he has taken out on me has been....OUCH!
Any thoughts are appreciated. I know all you understand me ( I type this with tears running down my cheeks) YOU GET IT and nobody else does. God bless you all. I pray non stop for the strength of God to get me out of this bondage.

Aug 13 - 12PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Evil

This man is evil. You need to read M. Scott Peck, The People of the Lie. And he's doing the MINDF**K. And he's good. Mine had a PhD in Philosophy, read psychology for fun, was a university professor -- he was totally into mind manipulation. I was the one who was crazy too. Mine insisted that we got to "family therapy" as a means to control me. Your's wants to go to your therapy to control the situation. Look. You need a good divorce lawyer. Do not talk to this N again. He will try to manipulate you. Divorce is all about money. Only your lawyer negotiates the divorce. You have no idea what a narcissist is until a divorce. When they are finished with you, it's freaking WAR. No hostages -- kill or be killed. Interesting how everything here is about his reputation in the Mormon community. Seems that you have done nothing wrong really. He's had multiple affairs. And, according to him, you're crazy. Par for the course. (Mine said I was "severely autististic" and a prescription drug addict because I used prescription sedatives to bear living with him & the abuse.) Look, you may never win the blame game. They always win. I think you need a good therapist who specializes in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You need to read everything about PTSD. You need this book: TRAUMA & RECOVERY by Judith Herman, MD. This book will help you make sense of what you are feeling. You have been really brainwashed as if you were a politcal prisoner. You cannot think straight. He's played with your mind & your self image so much. I, too, felt as if I was going crazy. It stopped after I went NC. The feelings of craziness are PTSD. And also "projection." He's the crazy one & he discharges that on to you. Then you feel crazy--called "projective identification." Interestingly enough, I bet this man is with another woman. That's why he's divorcing you. These types cannot be alone. They need a woman to abuse & manipulaet & to project upon. Really twisted. The wife becomes the "self-object" -- his identity, like a baby blanket, he cannot be alone. He's always got to have a woman like a child has to have mommy.
Aug 9 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Oh Geeze! Just because he's a

Oh Geeze! Just because he's a shrink doesn't mean he's not a narc, you're right he just has more ammunition !! You said you have a strong faith now is the time to put that in full force ,prayer is beautiful for your soul. Stand strong and plan a life forward minus this man! NC is the only way! Be Strong and follow the steps! Hunter
Aug 8 - 7AM
freaked
freaked's picture

Sunrise, yes it is

Sunrise, yes it is undoubtedly GOD who has engineered us to find this forum. Bless Lisa too. I am the D&D wife of a narc ..he is in the same sort of profession as you mention..cant get specific..for FEAR of getting traced. ditto same story..but i am not a citizen of a socially civilized country.
Aug 8 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
FINALLYFREE2BME
FINALLYFREE2BME's picture

Wow.

This sounds so horrible! I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm no expert, but I read an article in Sandra Brown's magazine: http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ that suggested that if you have to go up against an N in court, get a diagnosis from a therapist for PDSD. That way there is a record of the trauma created by their abuse. It's considered a stress disorder, not a mental disorder that will designate you as crazy. Is there a therapist in another town who doesn't know your husband and is familiar with treating victims of abuse and dealing with partners of people with cluster B disorders? If you can, try to find one. I'm sure the other wise people here will have more ideas, too. Take care.