Is my son a narcissist?

Is my son a narcissist?
1

I just found this on my FB newsfeed:

Kevin Avery: My body is a perfect temple and I never have health problems cause of my awesomeness. I make germs sick, they don't make me sick.
July 26 at 3:18pm · Like

I've wondered from time to time if he could be a narc- but this seems so blatant. I hope I'm wrong.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SoaperGirl?feature=mhee#p/u/1/qh68pudHB3k
He's a musician, plays guitar and sings. Is he or isn't he a narc?

Gravity's picture

My brother is a Narc for sure

My brother is through and through a narcissist. I was given enough proof the other day when he made THIS his fb status:

"And I cant look like a liar to everybody I told I'd make it so I break it down on a level where you can understand it I'm manic in depression but theres no need to panic because I'm on one even though I'm teetering evil."

At least he admits he's teetering evil LOL.

Hunter's picture

Soaper

Ugh!! How old is he? He's just keeping with his peer's!

If he's your son be a mom and talk to him. Don't be an overbearing one :)

Hunter

SoaperGirl's picture

He's 30 and living with A Young Lady

They seem to be very happy. We talked just last night. He tries to pop in at least once a week and check up on me. He plans to give me some money next week because my retirement money isn't covering what I need.

I just got done a few minutes ago applying for some high level executive assistant positions. Yeah, he loves to portray himself as this cool dude, and seems to have a lot of friends. One of them in fact lives with me at this time as a boarder. I think Phil will be moving out soon though. My son Kevin and his girl are hoping to move to Florida in a few weeks at least for a while.

Actually, Kevin has been known to complain that I have not been hard assed enough with him and his sisters in the discipline department. Is there such a thing as a perfect parent? I managed pretty much to raise three kids alone on only my income.

While there are some areas I cringe and am embarrassed to talk with him about (I was chagrined several months ago to admit, I had not looked at his private business since he was potty-trained as a toddler! Talk about having a red face! hahaha. Still we can talk about nearly everything, and have a certain openness.

Looks like with the new girl though, he's not my baby anymore! I'm thinking that's probably how it should be. He's a grown-assed man now! He doesn't rely on me to tell him what to do or how to lead his life.

deecbee's picture

I have a younger brother who

I have a younger brother who puts similar chest-beating declarations like that on FB. He's not a narc, he's actually a well-adjusted kid. Kids are going through so much developmentally and socially that I'd say any "off" behavior could probably be attributed to that before a PD. He's just young :)

SoaperGirl's picture

finding the right partner can be just as difficult

I can't imagine doing that, but seems like with young men, they have a need to show off their manhood I guess. In this culture we seem to have very little traditions to usher a guy from boyhood into manhood.

When my son was little, I used to say, I wanted to raise him in such a way, his future wife would thank me for raising him because he'd be such a good respectful man, you knew any woman could consider herself lucky to have him. I hope I succeeded.

So far though, the quality of the women seems a little iffy. His female relationships do usually last several years so he hasn't had many. One was a drug addict, another kicked him out when he developed a life-threatening bone-eating infection and couldn't work. I'm hoping the current one will work out for him. She seems a nice girl.

I guess sometimes, finding the right partner can be just as difficult for the men as the women! Who knew?

Sunafterrain's picture

Um......

Soaper,

That's really hard to say. I know my son's post about being bad asses (18,20), as do their friends in a variety of ways. My eldest son sings, plays piano, guitar (electric/acoustic), drums, penny whistle, sings operatically blah blah blah.....and knows not a note of any of the music. It is BIZARRE, but he is NOT a narc at all. He talks like a bad ass and he's GAY, but he is NOT personality disordered. He is one of the kindest hearts I know. My second son, the 18 year old, is a video game freak. He's really super smart and into science! He writes awesome science fiction stories. He doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs (neither does my eldest), and he is much more quiet of the two, but he too has a very sensitive heart, but talks like a bad ass on FB. I don't know why this is. Unless your son is showing signs in other ways (like my youngest is and he's 17), then I would worry.

SoaperGirl's picture

Thank you Sunafterrain, sometimes I wonder

I know that he's straight as an arrow. He doesn't fall in love often, but when he does, he seems to fall deeply and passionately. When he breaks up with a girl, he can spend months seemingly grieving over having lost her. Just there are times, he makes me wonder.

Sunafterrain's picture

Soaper, if he were N, you would know it

I also have a 17 year old son. He is showing a TON of P/N traits. His father is P. Some years ago, my eldest son got himself into a heap of trouble that involved the law and an incarceration. He was tested and I was prepared that if my son were P/N, I would have to sign off my parental right or any responsibilities to my own child. I knew then there was no cure. His rehabilitation was going to be successful based upon a thorough psychiatric examination. I was so relieved that he was shown to be HIGH in empathy, but suffering from GAD and situational depression. He suffered abuse from his P father that I did not become aware of until we were separated and my son was incarcerated. Treatment worked for my son and he's healthier than I! LOL! He's a beautiful human being and a great example to me of the power of meditation, self awareness, insight, ...he teaches me everyday....

Sounds like your son is just doing the FB thing! LOL! A lot of kids say stuff like that. Including my son's and the fact that yours shows empathy, tells me that he is the REAL thang! Be encouraged by his emotions, even while they may be hard to watch in action. :)

SoaperGirl's picture

Thank you for the encouragement

He seems to be sympathetic to others and is caring and tender-hearted toward animals and children. He can't stand either being abused.

I've never known him to mistreat a girlfriend or be disloyal or unfaithful to a steady girl (which is about the only kind he's ever had!).

He seems to like to stick with whoever has his heart at the time, and is devoted to them and loves them deeply. His last GF dumped him when he got sick and couldn't work.

There's times when he's been mad at me, he's yelled in my ear, I've even been shoved a time or two, but never hit or called names.

In fact, he went to bat for me against the narc..and he has demonstrated a capacity to take responsibility for and admit his mistakes as well as apologize when he's felt he was in the wrong (as he did in the above examples I've noted previously.

The narc never did that!

I am absolutely sure he's not gay..as he said "I'm straight all the way!" But there are times, I guess my narc-alert alarm works overtime. I just worry sometimes as his dad was a narc I think.

I'd hate to think I screwed up with that boy. From the time he was born, I've loved him deeply and been proud of him. He seems a good-hearted, warm, loving person.

I hope I'm perceiving him correctly. Thank you again for the kind words, I'm sure you must be right.