White Collar Psychopaths

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#1 Jul 18 - 7AM
BadaBing
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White Collar Psychopaths

Good day!

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Manipulators are usually known for being consciously aggressive – being obvious about what they want and their efforts to dominate, argue, shout and lie.

The most dangerous (and prevalent) kind of manipulation however is subconscious aggression – taking place on a more subconscious level where the manipulator appeals to a person’s emotional world often below the level of awareness. Without conscious interference, the subconscious intruder can be covertly manipulative and therefore very successful.

They are able to achieve high positions within companies, and to expertly control social situations in their favour – always knowing which weaknesses and dynamics to exploit to fulfill their agendas. “White collar psychopaths” are experts at subconscious manipulation.

Why Subconscious Aggression Goes Undetected

The tactics are subtle and implicit
The victim will have a gut reaction, or unpleasant feeling about the manipulator, but its very difficult to consciously recognise and explain the dynamics of what is going on. Instead, the victim may go on the subconscious defensive, putting up guards and barriers. If the victim has no clear agenda, the manipulator will simply use the victims defenses against them – accusing them for example of being uncooperative, or aloof.

The tactics can be disguised as positive traits
A subconscious manipulator can distort their fighting behaviour into appearing caring, defending, crusading or being cruel to be kind. For example, your negative reactions to implicit insults or subconscious attacks could be described as over-sensitive, or not being a team player – which can be difficult to defend against without reinforcing the implication.

For this reason, victims are led to doubt their own fears and awareness of the subconscious intrusions – which leads to an increased sense of emotional confusion, which renders the victim even more open to subconscious intrusion.

Your weaknesses and insecurities are exploited
When your weaknesses and insecurities are used against you, it can be easy to rationalise that you deserve it. Worse, you may become consciously blind to your insecurities, and deny that you are being taken advantage of. A person who is an easy mark for sales tactics for example, upon buying something they don’t need, is more likely to rationalise the purchase rather than analyse their subconscious vulnerability. Your lack of self-knowledge reduces your subconscious security.

We’re led to believe that manipulators must be weak, vulnerable, wounded

Basic psychological awareness tells us that people who are aggressive tend to be weak, hurt, angry, lacking self-approval, in need of self-esteem. We then try to doubt our own negative opinions about a person, perhaps instead trying to understand them. Its therefore possible that a victim of subconscious aggression will instead doubt themselves rather than the manipulator.

http://www.subconscioussecurity.co.uk/subconscious-psychological-manipul...

Jul 18 - 12PM
Lisa87
Lisa87's picture

my white collar psychopath

That explains mine to a tee..........very manipulative in a subtle way that you would take as caring. Very successful in his white collar Sr. VP position for one of the largest retail corporations in the world, and well respected. Very respected in his community and neighbors, children etc. Goes out of his way to be generous and kind to everyone...all it is about is he wants everyone to look up to him and admire him and put him on a pedestal and guess what, they do! However he cannot have a real emotional relationship with anyone for very long and that is where the problem lies. Once the mask came off with me, the evil started to entwine with the generosity.
Jul 18 - 7AM
BadaBing
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he is all of those

"people who are aggressive tend to be weak, hurt, angry, lacking self-approval, in need of self-esteem." this is how EX acts I am angry that you left - so come back! I don't have anyone to sleep with - so come back! you must be sleeping with someone else or you would be having sex with me! if you take time away from me, you will realize you don't need me anymore and I don't really love you come back so I can abuse you some more in a nut shell this is what i have heard from him since I left! if this really is about control primarily - not love or caring- then he only wants me me back to gain control over this situation, not being able to do so for this long is getting under his skin. Maybe a D&D is coming soon he will give up I bet!
Jul 18 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
Journey
Journey's picture

Hi BadaBing

I've been away from the board for a few days and am just catching up on my reading. I saw your other thread about his arrest. Just wanted to say here about what you said "Maybe a D&D is coming soon he will give up I bet" - I think the D&D has already started. You said when he contacted you after the 'incident', that he yelled and not once asked how YOU were doing after the ordeal... yet you had a thumb print on your arm that he caused by his aggression, yet his concern is not that he may have hurt you at all, but instead how YOU were betraying him by having fun with friends and getting on with your life. That to me sounds like the devaluing part starting in order for the discard to be easier for him... it's what they do. They HAVE to convince themselves that we are no longer worthy of their 'love' (which of course isn't really love but possession and control) and that is when the devaluing really gets going. Do not be surprised if he either back peddles and apologizes (might still want to try to gain control over you) or goes completely the other way now, saying things like "we're done, it's over, I've done everything to make up what I did, but YOU aren't being reasonable, YOU aren't willing to meet me half way, YOU don't really care about me, YOU aren't worth all the heartache, YOU are cold, YOU are lying... blah blah blah..." DON'T let this kind of talk break you down or make you feel guilty or bad for him. It is part of what they do to affect us, to make us doubt ourselves. I'm glad to see that for you the fog is starting to clear. That is the importance of no contact! And BTW, thanks for posting this article - it is exactly how my ex got to me... covert, emotional control disguised as 'caring'.

Journey on...

Jul 18 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
BadaBing
BadaBing's picture

@ Journey

thank u for taking the time I sometimes don't properly express my self clearly in my posts things have happened fast yes, the D&D has already begun I am not use to using the terms yet sorry also my friend girlsinger pointed out to me that the real D&D was his cheating in our home I am still learning all this Journey things have happened so fast I did not post the texts and emails he sent me here but they were very much of the same of what you wrote he was mean, ruthless and told me to fuck off that I dressed like a whore and I could take 600 days then hours later back tracked apologizing asking me to see him talk to him anything I have decided to ask him to join me in a therapy session on thursday and I am going to end this for good this is a long time coming I don't know how he will take it but I feel safe and it's a good idea to have it documented and maybe we both will walk out of there better understanding each other ....and broken up finally so there is nothing left to discuss that is my hope Journey that I can end it and that this feel right to me to and helps me to do it in this way