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Narcs in academia

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#1 Jun 27 - 1PM
Anne_
Anne_'s picture

Narcs in academia

I hate xN! Just wanted to vent this.
xN and I are collegues. He is a tenured professor, and I am a policy officer at the same faculty. He ditched me bc he wanted to f$ck a 19-year old student. I played it cool at work. Most people don't even know that we were together, let alone that I told them why he broke up with me. But now, he is convinced that I am telling everyone about him sleeping around with his students. He threatens me. My office is in a library, which is closed in summer (= now). I have a badge to enter, and as a staff member, he has a badge too. He comes to my office, threatens me, threatens to get me fired (which is possible, since I am on a temporary contract.....). He is brilliant in his field, gets a lot of grants, publishes a lot so he is untouchable because of that (I'm a policy officer so it is my job to do everything I can to keep these brilliant academics IN the faculty, they bring in the money). He is a union representative for our university (which he mentioned today "Anne, you aren't even protected by the union"). And you know what: an hour later he came back to my office, crying "I don't want you to hate me.....".
He ditched me bc of this 19-year old, he got me infected with an STD, he threatened to get me fired , and he wants me NOT to hate him? Mindblowing.....

Fuck him
I'm taking the day off tomorrow....
I might look for other work....
After all, academia isn't the nicest field to work in....

Jun 28 - 2AM
Anne_
Anne_'s picture

LMAO!!!

Last week, he came into my office when the library was open. He was carrying a bag, and both students and academic staff are supposed to leave their bags at the desk. He refused, and made a great fuss about it (bc the library staff didn't adress him as 'professor'). He took his bag to my office, and he was really raving mad about the incident. He was really aggressive to the library staff. Today I hear that the head of the library, another professor, isn't too happy about it. This guy (a really sweet one) came to me, and we talked about this incident. I explained the whole matter, and the head of library is going to help me solve this. First of all, xN will be publicly reprimanded for setting a bad example, and secondly, xN will be told to leave me alone (this will be told in private). YES! I'm so very happy with this. And about me getting fired, I'm on a temporary contract, so they can easily let me go. But I heard today (it's my lucky day), that the dean of the faculty is thrilled with some work I've accomplished. This is getting a wee bit better.... From now on, I'm keeping track of his whereabouts. It's nice to have someone here on campus who supports me. They all know his reputation (womanizer, aggressive, and sometimes plain crazy....) thx for the support ladies!
Jun 27 - 7PM
Tinker
Tinker's picture

i work at a university and

i work at a university and handle those kinds of things...in my state, you can def tape (as long as one of the two parties knows they're being taped - in other states both parties have to be aware). if you can, get him to talk about your relationship. if you can't tape, keep very good notes of everything said every time. if you can, try to have someone listen in. then go talk to the person who handles sexual harassment claims and let them know what's going on. what's he's doing is retaliation, which is a separate claim from the harassment. you are now the victim and he's re-injuring you. don't let him get rid of you. you have lots of power in this situation. PM me if you need advice, i've been doing this for many years! good luck...
Jun 27 - 5PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Wanna be friends?

Mine is a tenured professor as well. Mine spit on me, broke & stole from me, verbally, emotionally, psychologically & physically abused me. Lied all the time. Threatened me. Then after the divorce sends an e-mail: "Can't we be friends like normal ex's?" (Actually he wanted something from me at that point.) How can he get you fired? You have done nothing. You do your job. He's the one sleeping around with students. Tell him you know nothing and cannot help him. Do you have a boss? The next time N comes in, tell him, "I cannot help you. Not in my job description. You should talk to the supervisor." Even call the supervisor. Say "Prof. So & So is here & I cannot help him. I do not understand even what he wants. Could you come down or should I send him up to your office. Are you free now?"
Jun 27 - 3PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

you go girl!

you go girl!
Jun 27 - 2PM
strongerthanever
strongerthanever's picture

Can this be an option? Maybe

Can this be an option? Maybe the other ladies can chime in. I would get one of those tape recorders with a microphone, call him, have your cell phone on speaker and get him on tape confessing and threatening. I bet he is smart enough to not put this in writing and in an email. Phone calls is the only way. Document the days he has been to your office threatening you. With a badge, it will date and timestamp his whereabouts and show that he has been in the library on those days. Do this for a week and then go to HR. Whether you are protected or not by the Union, federal law is on your side. You have the right to report anyone that is causing a hostile work environment and the employer can not retaliate by firing you after you filed a complaint.
Jun 27 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Recording

Be careful about recording. Secret recordings are often illegal & crimes in almost all US states. This is why stores put stickers on the door that there is video monitoring. Generally one must give notice before recording.