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Why do Narcs stay??

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#1 Jun 19 - 6PM
JoJo
JoJo's picture

Why do Narcs stay??

Why do narcs, who seem to despise you and either hate or fear you, insist on staying in your life? Why, when they clearly are ready for the next new target and NS, why do they keep you around? And why do they try to stop you from leaving?

Jun 20 - 12AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Two words...

Ego and Convenience...
Jun 19 - 10PM
Steph
Steph's picture

They don`t let YOU

They don`t let YOU leave.....because NOBODY rejects an almight N. If they stay with you.....it`s to serve an `image purpose`.......but it certainly doesn`t mean that they are committed to you. They just cheat.
Jun 19 - 10PM (Reply to #12)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

yep

When I asked mine to leave, he smiled at first (which was really weird, because I was crying) and then he said "no one has EVER asked me to be gone!" Its like he was truly amazed that I would reject the almighty him! Then he proceeded to guilt me into letting him stay. And then he forced himself to stay. I thought it was because he wanted to fix things or to try to make it up to me....but I'm sure it was because he couldn't let anyone else break things off with him, he needed to be in control. He needed to be the reject-or, not the reject-ee! Oh yeah, and how he said "no one has EVER asked me to be gone!" I guess he forgot about the time that his xwife filed for divorce. oops!
Jun 19 - 10PM (Reply to #13)
Steph
Steph's picture

loveofmylife

Exactly!!!! You have got it so right!
Jun 19 - 8PM
wacaet
wacaet's picture

before I knew mine was an N,

before I knew mine was an N, I couldn't figure this out he stood me up so many times, lied so many times, made so many excuses and yet, he'd call every morning and when I suggested maybe I needed to date someone else he was furious I asked him point blank what he was getting out of our "relationship" when we hadn't seen each other in over a month and he avoided the question know I understand but it's still so damn weird to me I guess because I'm not an N I don't think I'll ever quite get it.
Jun 19 - 7PM
lisalisa47
lisalisa47's picture

YES i agree with the other comments AND

Because in their own sick and twisted way...they consider you "family".... Example: My ex narc would simultaneouly rip off my dad with whatever he could find, while begin genuinely concerned that my dads truck battery was failing and would actually spend HOURS trying to fix it for him. To them, love and pain are the same. You love THEM, THEY cause you pain...to a narc, what could be more perfect?

LML

Jun 19 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
JoJo
JoJo's picture

He called me mommy

Ripping off your dad, then fixing his car? So maybe he considered your dad to be his dad too? You might be on to something there because on a few occasions my N took to calling me Mum, or mommy. Weird huh??
Jun 19 - 7PM
TNR1
TNR1's picture

They do not actually see you as a person but as an extention....

of themselves. That is why they feel entitled to come back around whenever they want and act like nothing has ever happened. You are merely there as another source of NS. The best way I can describe it is that (to them) you are their possession, they may grow tired of you, they may put you on the shelf for a while, but whenever they get that longing and want whatever NS they thought they were getting from you again, they willl dust you off and bring you back into rotation. It isn't because they love you, it isn't because they realize what they did was wrong, they are just going ahead with the idea that you truly (in some sick way) belong to them. They aren't going to want you to be with anyone else because then they won't have such access to you as they had before. The key takeaway is that you are an OBJECT to the N...not a person.
Jun 19 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
JoJo
JoJo's picture

TNR1

YES this is right on the head. My N feels like he should be free to date whoever but somehow he doesn't mind interfering in my affairs and preventing me from starting new relationships. Disappears and expects me to be available whenever he needs me. If I ignore him he gets very direct "are you avoiding me" "are you ignoring me" "are you trying not to mess me with me anymore" Ugh I mean if you want to be free, be free. I've told him that so many times. Go be free! But nope, I guess I still have some value as an OBJECT.
Jun 19 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

NarcSupply, the keep you

NarcSupply, the keep you around for themselves. The keep many supply outlets, also they lime to control! Hunter
Jun 19 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
JoJo
JoJo's picture

Yes NarcSupply

This NS concept is so crazy to me. Like how empty do you have to be inside to need sources to keep you going? But I guess its worth the headache to them to get NS
Jun 19 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
heritage
heritage's picture

They would rather be admired

They would rather be admired by many than truly loved by one!
Jun 19 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

Because old supply is better

Because old supply is better than no supply at all! Period!
Jun 19 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
JoJo
JoJo's picture

Ha good very straight and to

Ha good very straight and to the point!