I THINK he's a Narcissist

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#1 Jun 19 - 5PM
JoJo
JoJo's picture

I THINK he's a Narcissist

Me and the guy I've been seeing for 6 months are both students in our 20s. I'm not in a relationship with him, though it feels like one and I feel loyalty to him. But I've spent the last few months trying to leave this guy, because inside he a truly a scary person.

On the outside he is:
-Handsome
-full of charisma
-charming
-seductive
-funny

Over time I saw:
-A real contempt for others
-Jealousy of others
-Manipulation of his ex-girlfriends to keep them interested
-A general unhappiness inside him
-An outgoing and friendly persona that he switches on and off
-A need to be admired for something (ANYTHING)
-hatred for his father who seems to be a narcissist himself
-A lack of interest in my thoughts and concerns
-A lack of empathy. He once made me cry and I saw a hint of a smile on his face
-That he never intended to commit

Now at this point he:
-is cold
-is hypercritical of me
-never hesitates to degrade me
-takes things I give him without saying thank you
-Gives me a vibe that he has nothing but contempt for me
-Starts relationships with other women (I saw in his email once)
-Gives me an impression that he doesn't want me around
-Goes hot and cold...sometimes affectionate and other times the opposite

So seeing this, and being that I consider myself a relatively smart and attractive woman, I knew that I seriously needed to get away from him. And so, as it stands I have broken up with him at least 5 times now.

But the problem is that he never stays away from me for more than a day after I break up with him, and he refuses to let this sinking ship go under. Because he has a hold on me it can be difficult to stay strong and avoid him, so I need his cooperation to make a break-up stick.

I don't understand why he wants me in his life anymore. Our "relationship" has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. I used to do things for him like cook, buy him food, do the somewhat kinky things he wanted in bed, do his homework assignments, and basically put his needs over mine. I've stopped doing those things for about a month to see if that would make him leave but he just won't.

This may sound dumb, but even after writing all this I don't know if he's a narcissist or just an A-hole, and Also I don't know if I've been emotionally abused and I don't know how to bring this sad pathetic story to an end.

Jun 19 - 6PM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Yes he is. RUN don't

Yes he is. RUN don't walk. You will get a lot of support here when you leave! Be brave.
Jun 19 - 5PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Jojo

Welcome, it comes to an end when you stop all communication with him! Hunter