Kiddunn's Story

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#1 May 29 - 1PM
MovingForward
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Kiddunn's Story

This is my story - Strange Twist.
I was married to a good man for 16 years. Had 2 biological children and 2 adopted. I, as all of us here, am very giving, compassionate, caring, loving and want to help everyone in any way they need - therein lied my vulnerability.

I met woman through a friend. She was gay, I was not. She befriended me rather quickly, telling me all her pain from her childhood and the ridicule she had to endure all her life because of her sexuality. Her siblings wanted nothing to do with her, her sister tried to kill her when she was young, blah, blah, blah. We all know the routine.

I felt sorry for her and what she had to endure in her life. I was not homophobic and had many gay friends however I had or have never been attracted to a woman. I wanted to help her. To show her there were people that would love her for who she was. She had been used by every one of her past partners, left broke and on and on. As we were friends she was working me the whole time (I see that now). Accessing and gaining knowledge of all my fears, wants and needs in life. How I was bored with my marriage and wanted to feel alive again. I helped her get on track with finances, giving her loans to get her out of debt from her past relationships, etc.

As I look back now her N traits were there even as a friend. She would make plans to have dinner with my husband and I and not show or call. Many times she did not stand by her word.

Anyway, as our friendship continued we became closer and closer. I was going to help her remember. Boy, how that backfired in my face. Long talks about our lives. I had no idea she was working on me but my family could see it all along. She was into the challenge of victimizing me given I was not gay and had never been with a woman. She laid on the charm pretty heavy, it all happened so fast I did not know what was going on. I fell in love with a woman, or as I see it now, I fell in love with a N. I thought I was going crazy.

My marriage had been in the end for a while. I saw an opportunity to be happy, live life. She was always so exciting and fun. She morphed into everything I was, everything I wanted even how I dressed and spoke. Looking back now and seeing her with her new supply, it is very creapy. She is doing the exact same thing with her. Smoking, drinking, bars, cussing like a sailor, even tatooed her initials as she did all her victims before. The tatoos are always done in a way the can be converted or covered up later with something else.

She quickly moved into my home after my divorce. I had never had a relationship with a woman and she was so patient and understanding of my confusion. We (her and I and our kids) could be a real family and we were for about 4 years. Then boy oh boy did a change begin. The lies were amazing but I overlooked them. Her beliefs changed, her goals and future plans. All the things we all have gone through started happening. I did everything, took care of the kids, paid all the bills, planned and paid for the vacations, etc. In my mind we were a family and there was no reason for me to compare what I did versus what she did. Needless to say it bankrupted me.

I was D&D after 7 years. She saw an opportunity with a new (married) victim and she went for it. I cought her with a secret apartment and in many lies. I kicked her out of our home. I refinanced the home in my name only and was very angry. I did well the first go around of the D&D.

Then................ 6 months later I was faced with major life crises. My fathjer died, my beast friend died, my brother died, I had to have back surgery and could no longer work at my job of 24 years. All this happened within 6 months. The new supply obviously did not work out so there she was, coming to comfort me and help me with my pain. All the apologies of I made a mistake, I want to be with you forever, etc. I fell for it. I was so vulnerable, hurting, alone and scared. I really believed her and needed her.

Within 1 month, she was back in the house. At first she was very attentive to my needs and even my wants. I felt like she was really sorry and realized what she had lost. 18 months into the relationship it started again. I had lost my disability income and could not pay all the bills anymore. She began seeing another woman again. This time, this one worked out, or at least so far. She left me in the middle of January with no heat, no lights, no money to buy medication and no where for me to go. I became to weak and needy. For heaven sakes, she had to pay 1 20.00 co-pay for my medication then refused to help me anymore. Her new supply moved in with her the same day she left.

She now has a new personality and a new supply. I feel so sorry for this girl. I knew her and she has all the traits that I do. She is a kind, loving person. I know the lies that have been told about me to her. The same ones I heard about all the others in her past. I do not blame her as I know how good the N is at the "Game".

Praise God - after she left me, my disability was reinstated, got a huge settlement, saved my home and my health is improving. The only thing I ended up losing was her. The one thing I needed to lose. She is pissed that she bailed too early. All that money she could have conned out of me.

I am glad to be out of the relationship and the d&d I endured many times over before she physically left. But, I still miss her, the good times, severe CD and PTSD. How can I care for someone that treated me the way she did? When she left she told me " I dont love you, I dont care what happens to you, I will not be there for you, I will do nothing for you". Dang, how much does it take to make me hate her?

As I see it now, I think I felt sorry for her more than I loved her. I believe that is what I am still feeling now. I wanted to help her, fix her. haha Boy, how I got screwed!

I am trying to put my life back together after all the confusion. Every day is a struggle to comprehend why and how someone could do that and be what she is. I will never understand but have to let go. Any suggestions?

I know this is long, but it feels good to get it out.

The signs were all there of a very disturbed person. I was so strong and independant. I feel like a fool and want to get myself back, if I can ever find me again.

May 29 - 1PM
prettypeeved
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I think some narcs see it as

I think some narcs see it as a challenge to break up couples. I know mine certainly seems to. I love the whole making a permanent tattoo "temporary" by it being easy to change or cover up. Every time I come across a new bit of warped narc behaviour it makes me smile these days. It's black humour, but you've got to wonder what the hell goes through their minds to justify that sort of thing.
May 30 - 12AM (Reply to #5)
booboo35
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Hi everyone Prettypeeved, You

Hi everyone Prettypeeved, You are so right about narcs liking to split couples up, ( I think some narcs see it as a challenge to break up couples. I know mine certainly seems to.) My ex Narc would love to shit stir between couples, And would always try to steal somebody elses GF or Wife given half a chance he just seen it as as nothing, He was always comparing me to women on the telly, Making me feel uneasy about myself, Sick they are,

STAY STRONG!! XX

May 29 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
MovingForward
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I believe she had to prove

I believe she had to prove (or at least fake) a true committment to the new supply with the early tatoo. They are also wearing wedding rings on their fingers within the first month. There was no chance of keeping me on the hook for her as the end became ugly and involved law inforcement on several occassions. I filed a "NO CONTACT" order which prevents us from contacting either without going to jail or her being fired from her job. She is a high ranking officer in the local police department. It was hard to do that because then I knew I couldn't contact her either but it is something that had to be done. Otherwise I would have the hoovering. It has kept me from contacting her as well. I have actually seen her drive by my road on several occassions and she has been asking the kids and friends how I am doing and acting so concerned. She has also had the nerve to insinuate to the kids to ask me for money. I know it is killing her that she cannot continue to harrass me.
May 30 - 12AM (Reply to #3)
prettypeeved
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Can you extend that no

Can you extend that no contact order to the kids?
May 30 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
MovingForward
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She is not supposed to even

She is not supposed to even contact throuh the kids but I am not going to give her the satisfaction of addressing it. It will bother her more if I ignore it as I have done. The kids are in their early 20's and they are all too familiar with how disturbed she is. One of them is her child that I raised for 12 years. She doesnt want anything to do with her mother and considers me her mother. When she got her new girlfriend she kicked her daughter out to eliminate the chance of exposure. He daughter never held back with the comments of past behavior by her mother. I am just waiting to bask in the glow of Karma............