When I post on here...no one seems to respond. It makes me feel like a low-life to be on here on a Saturday afternoon while he is probabaly somewhere on a date, enjoying life. Anyway, they (here, books,other sites) say that it's important to just GET IT OUT so here I am....
My friends are tired and think I'm nuts and he's disappeared (for now). So, I really have no one to talk to. I can't help but to wonder what he's doing. Who he's with? etc. Or if I even cross his mind. I have come to the realizatin that he is not thinking of me in a way where he CARES about me but does he wonder why he hasn't heard from me? Am I that insignificant? YOu know sometimes if your boss is away from work, you may not really care but for a split second, you may wonder where they are. Please don't judge me.
I really wonder does he think about our daughter? Is he capable of loving her? Does he think about her? Will he ever?
This is all so bizarre to me. I just want to be happy again. For me AND my children. I wasted so much precious time on him. I missed out on time with my babies that I can't get back. I was soooooo disrupted by our "rollercoaster" that I can't even remember parts of my daughter's infancy. Sad, I know.