Sarasmile's Story

Posting this story is going to be tough. Sorry I didn't post my story at the beginning. I got so caught up in the message boards I didn't even think about posting my entire story.

I met my Narc at work 3 years ago. He was the most charming man I had ever met in my life. He was a bad boy with a major ego and he made me crazy every time I was around him. When I would see him my heart and stomach would almost jump out of my body. He pursued me relentlessly. He was married at the time too. That should have been my first sign something was wrong with him. I fell hard and fast. I was having an affair with a married man. I knew it was wrong and I felt so guilty but all he had to do was speak to me and the guilt was gone. His wife ended up pregnant. His story was it was a one time thing when they were drinking. I believed it but that little voice was screaming at me that I was being naive. The relationship was up and down because I was so in love with him that I couldn't stand being away from him. He was going to leave her and he said they hated each other. Again, I believed him. The baby came and he left works for 2 weeks and I was in hell. The baby got sick and was put in the hospital for 4 days and he was the perfect husband and stood by his wife but called me and kept in touch. All I needed was just a word or two from him to keep me obsessed. After they all came him he started his "poor pitiful me" routine. The baby was getting all of the attention and the wife didn't appreciate anything he did for her. Waaaaa waaaaa waaaaaa! Things rocked along for about 6 months of ups and downs. He kept telling me how wonderful I was and how he had never met anybody like me in his life. I was his soulmate and we were gonna be together. I caught him in so many lies it was unbelievable. I look back now and wonder how in the world I believed him when I KNEW he was lying. If his mouth was moving he was lying. Seriously. He doesn't know the truth.

His wife found out by finding an email from me to him. She went crazy! She called me and I talked to her for about 2 hours. She told me stuff that made my head SPIN! Everything he told me was lies. Their relationship was not bad. Not perfect but not bad. They decided to work things out and he was never supposed to talk to me again. She called me constantly though. I was her new best friend. Listening to her talk about them was like taking a knife and cutting me into little pieces. The guilt I felt over destroying this marriage kept me talking to her. One day she had a complete meltdown and he called me and ASKED ME TO CALL HER AND CALM HER DOWN! Can you believe that? I did it. I fixed their problem and they continued to work on it. She finally got smart and kicked him out. Guess who he ran straight to? ME! I was the happiest girl on earth. I spent the next year being his cheerleader and preparing him for divorce court. He recorded her every time they talked on the phone. I listened to tapes of them talking and he was tormenting her. I told him that it was not necessary to be so cruel to her. I heard him try to make up with her and fix things with her and he told me I MISUNDERSTOOD. I'm not sure where my brain was but I believed that too. He was awful to her but then would be so nice at times. It was so confusing.

We had a million ups and downs during all of this time. We'd break up and get back together every other day. I couldn't do my job because he called ALL DAY and bitched at me about what I had on or who I was talking to and accusing me of sleeping with every man on site. I begged and begged him to stop and to see how much I loved him and he was my life. He was like a crazy person. He was convinced I was cheating on him. I know now it's because he was cheating on me. He was relentless every single day!! It was horrible.

Things started coming out about him during this time too. He had an affair with his bosses fiance before his affair with me. He had sex with his bosses fiance on his bosses desk AT WORK! PIG! One night I surprised him at his house and he was acting WEIRD. SO WEIRD!! 15 min after I showed up a very young girl in her 20's knocks on the door. He tucks his tail and runs and I answer the door. She tells me HE asked her to come see him. He says she was drunk and didn't know what she was saying. It was something like this ALL the time. Even with the ex wife. He claimed to HATE her but I wasn't so sure.

The physical abuse started about a year ago. We had a small party at his house and he got tired and went to bed. I got mad because he had lied to me about something and went to his room to confront him. It turned into a very ugly fight. In the end he grabbed me and threw me across the kitchen and into the kitchen cabinets. I had a huge knot on my head and bruises on my arms and back. The second time he put bruises on me was over a text message from an ex boyfriend of mine. It was work related but he went CRAZY. He pushed me around and finally pushed me so hard I fell face first. I had bruises on my knees and hands. He drug me out of the house and told me I belonged outside with the trash.

Even after all of that we went back and forth and I was crazy crazy in love with him. Something is wrong with me!!!! The last straw was I found pictures of him on Christmas morning at the ex wives house. I was done.

He found a new girlfriend on New Years Eve. 2 days after we were together for the last time. I'm pretty sure she had been around a lot longer than that!!! I was devastated. I started drinking one night when I knew they were together and sent him a text message telling me how happy I was without him and how I found someobdy else in my life that treated me wonderful. He texted me back telling all about the new gf and how his kids loved her and they had spent the entire weekend together. My world collapsed. He started calling me at work telling me about the new gf and wanted to know if I wanted to see a picture of her. He was so cruel. CRUEL!

About 2 weeks ago he called me at work and told me my tire looked low. I walked out to check it and it looked fine. I left during lunch and it went totally flat. When I got out to look at it my tire had been CUT. It looked like it had been stabbed with a screwdriver. They guy that changed it for me laughed and asked me if I had any enemies. It was all too close and all too coincidental. I knew in my guts he had cut my tire. I lost it. I didn't accuse him because I reported it to security at work and I wanted them to take care of it. That investigation is still pending. The reason why I think he did it is because his story about checking my tire never stayed the same and then he called me ENDLESSLY about helping me get it fixed. He wanted to be my savior. I ignored him and fixed it myself. I didn't talk to him much after that until 3 days ago. I looked in his emails and found emails to the new GF about how much he LOVED her and how much she LOVED HIM and I was devastated. While I was reading their emails he emailed ME! SICK BASTARD! After work he followed me to where I pick my daughter up and poured on the charm. I thought it was hilarious then. He kept on and on until I met him yesterday. Yesterday was the worst day in the 3 years of hell I've spent with him. After sex he told me he hoped he didn't lead me on!!!!!!!!!!! He went on to tell me the new GF was so wonderful because she met the ex wife and I never would!! I told him that SHE didn't talk to the ex on the phone for months and months trying to fix things and NOW the new gf was a HERO because she MET the ex wife???? I couldn't even understand that logic. I was devastated and disgusted with myself.

We had a huge fight and I called him one of every name in the book. He kept telling me I was right and he was a piece of garbage and he was so sorry. I was screaming and crying like a maniac. As if my dignity wasn't already gone I made it worse by acting like a complete lunatic. I sent him a text message and told him I was going to show the new GF every text message and email he had sent me the past month AND I was going to show his boss the text messages and emails and divorce papers that named his fiance as a reason for the decline of the marriage. I told him I was going to tell his boss that he had sex with his bosses fiance on HIS BOSSES DESK. He called me crying and begging me not to take his job from him and to please not tell his boss that stuff. THEN he begged me not to tell the new GF because she was too nice and didn't deserve it. I screamed and screamed and cussed him and he cried and begged me not to take his life from him. And for me to PLEASE not do that to HIS CHILDREN! (more emotional blackmail) I continued to send text messages through the night and he quit answering. I regained my senses today and haven't sent anything I haven't heard from him either. So I'm not going to tell his boss or the new GF and he wins AGAIN. He keeps his job and his happy new life with the new GF and I'm at home completely destroyed. I got nothing but pain and SHAME!! Nothing. Why is it that he gets to win again? Why do I have to be a decent person and let him keep his job and the new GF? Where in the world do I go from here?