SEXUAL ABUSE WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARC?

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#1 Jan 16 - 10PM
booboo35
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SEXUAL ABUSE WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARC?

Hi i am new to this site thank god i found this site, Its a GOD SEND!!! I was with my Narc for 13 years, I am nearly on a month NC, I have my good and bad days, But would like to know this did any of your narcs make you do sexually disgusting things or force you to have sex with them? I know its a touchy subject, My ex did, He had a porn addiction as well, Made me feel so bad, I would just like to say as well thank god am not alone i thought i was, Am in Liverpool UK, And there are no sites in the Uk that offer this sort of help and give advice like this,xx

Feb 13 - 8PM
Amazed
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Booboo35 my exN had a lot of sexual perversions not good...

Sexual harrassment on the job, him pushing the boundaries having hard on while at lunch, I think he was on viagra, him walking into the office with hard on at 8 am, on viagra, (gross dumb idiot not attractive) also he was seeing another woman and others entire time I was going out with him..3 1/2 years..and living with another woman who I never even knew about, not to mention his ex with 2 kids he doesn't even pay child support too (asshole) The Ow who he was living with told me he like to go to sex shops (yuck) to get what I don't know... She got creeped out when he wanted to take here there.. I know he is on all sorts of porn sights,,and would stay at our workplace to do all that at our WORKPLACE..and he has two kids,,who he would put off and delay getting together with so he could screw around on some porn sight.. Not at all good to be with these types.. Learn about it, they have a lot of problems,,not like oh, lets talk about it and work through it problems,,they have alot of yuck problems, that will NEVER get better and only cause DISASTER for you to be around... Yuck,,,get away asap
Jan 18 - 7PM
hooklineandsinker
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Mine had a huge porn

Mine had a huge porn collection and lots of sex toys (we never used these as I never expressed any interest in them). Towards the end, near the D&D, he told me he'd like to hear about the sex I'd had with other men in the past. WTF? What normal boyfriend wants to hear about that stuff? Also he repeatedly told me he had no sexual boundaries and would try anything (we never did anything other than regular sex and a bit of fooling around with dressing up - this was down to me being as self-confident as I am - I've no doubt but that if I'd been clingy/needy/insecure/submissive, he would have made me do lots of disgusting stuff. He told me he wanted to ejaculate on my face, because "you don't know how amazing it is to look down and see your cum on the face of the love of your life". He got it all from porn. During the sex drought that he initiated, I got up one Sunday morning to find him cataloging his porn collection on his PC. Who gets up out of bed ignoring their loving, willing gf and goes to catalogue their porn collection instead? (A narc, that's who) Also, mine told me that in his 20s (he was 32 while we were together) he attended a lot of very wild sex parties where anyone could have sex with anyone else, any time, any way. Also a lot of S&M dungeons. Ick, ick, ick.
Jan 16 - 10PM
hedidntbreakme
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yes, message i posted a week ago

I am writing this to remind myself why I should Never break NC - even with the hoovering thats going on. When I met this guy and we decided to get in a relationship. He asked me to stay home from work, He sexed me from 7:30-3:00p, having an erection, EACH AND EVERYTIME. He hooked me, by the next day he had become a permanent fixture in my house. I would wait on him hand and foot. foot and hand after i got home from work. Feed him, massage him, give him facials, and then, when it was time for me to go sleep, as soon as my eyes would close, after exhaution, from catering to him...He would wake me up every hour on the hour for sex. I am not sure how i kept my job..He would refuse for me to sleep. If i was at work 8 hours the other 8 hours were dedicated to him and only him. anyhow, while having sex - he would convince me that i was bisexual, a freak (all of his other girlfriends were) - so i wanted to be better than them - NOTHING WAS EVER ENOUGH. The requests were off the wall: 3 somes, sex his friends, his brothers....BUT, he would always make it known to me "HE WAS ONLY INTO WOMEN" One occassion, when i did stoop to his level and have a 3-some, he did the unknown with a man...i was in shock. The next day he acted as it never happened. proceeded to say how much he despise gay men...we never spoke about this ever! (ug he had my mind so bad, i was constantly in competition mode, against his other women, whom, i never met, trying to be everything that he said they were, what a freakn mind f&&K)! The sex acts he would want me to perform on him! What the F&&k! My rock bottom - (after 20-25 make up and break ups) - He wanted me to bring home a woman so we could have a 3-some. Something he wanted the entire relationship. I never did it. He would even volunteer to bring a woman over since i couldnt do this simple request for him (all of his other girlfriends did this for him)! I gave this man everything he wanted sexually, nothing was ever enough. (when i think about all of things i did sexually, bringing home a woman should have been a piece of cake for me). He was big into swinger parties....i would have to watch him sex other women and i felt worthless after it was over as well as him wanting me to be with other men..He wanted to be with men too but thats another story...Nothing was ever enough....He started asking me to do his father - who was married to his mother! Oneday, while having sex with me he said "I want you to come over to my house and i sit u on top of the table "like a turkey - instead of an apple in your mouth, i want my dad and brothers to f##K u. Well, that was it. I made up in my mind that it was OVER! Not to mention he owes $40,000. (WDF) - I told i no longer wanted to be with him...he came over to my house - proceeded to take the $600 work of perfume and shoes he bought me. Turned around pulled me by my hair and drug me across my bedroom. Told me i was cheating on him and then looked at me at "spit" right in my face. Eventhough, i changed my phone numbers ASAP, after 1.5 years NC - he emailed me as if nothing happened...a cheap appology and let's act like nothing happened. I was a good woman to this man...i thought he was misunderstood, we were "thelma and louise" everything we did was our dirty little secret. No, he degraded me and, i better stop typing this cuz i am getting physically ill. Glad this site is here...It's hard to tell anyone this stuff because i feel very STUPID, I AM FINANCIALLY FUCKED. BUT MY Emotional and Mental state are all coming back. It's been 1.5 years. He wants to befriend me again now - i am sure, YOU JUST WANT A CHEAP SEX THRILL! It hurts
Feb 13 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
Amazed
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Hedidntbreakme stay away

Stay away 100 percent from that creep. Creep is too nice a word to describe it,,he is a nonperson..stay away, don't look at him, call, txt, nothing. leave, abandon, even though it is counterintuitive..leave NC that is the ONLY way.
Feb 6 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
agnesmurphy17
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Very Much Alike

Mine spit on me once! That was towards the end when I was leaving him just like in your situation. I left mine because I felt that mine was trying to push me into acts which I felt sexually degrading. It started about 6 months before I left him. It would have been like another woman here explained, I would have been trained up or down to new & greater pornographic exploits. This was confirmed when I told my suspicions to the ex-wife whom I met after I left mine. She told me that he had gotten her to do all sorts of S/M stuff. Also, he wanted to do group sex so they did about three times. He was impotent each time. He told me another totally different story of the group sex adventure. And when he told me -- I told him, "Hey. I may not be the person for you." No, I was assured he was all over that -- he had been young & wild. It's amazing how they suck one in on a lie & then gradually reveal the truth. It's all a con. The woman who replaced ME contacted me. She told me that she found a huge collection of homo-erotic, just below splatter-and-snuff film anal sex pornography. I never knew. But, now, I see it. It makes sense that he's gay. Others think it too. It's hard to spot because he's European -- they all seem gay to Americans because European males tend to be more verbal than American males, and are more into personal styule & home decorating. Mine would like to be friends with me too. I think it's just the N mantra & hope to keep one on the back burner. Under their control.
Jan 16 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
booboo35
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OMG that is awful. They are

OMG that is awful. They are not men, there sick monsters, My ex narc was sleeping with my one of my friends behind my back as well, She is dead now, i cant blame her she had a drink problem and she is not here to defend herself, He manipulated her probably, He denies this but i have proof, He is sick and sly doing that to me, But when i found out thats was it, I had had 13 years of hell with this nasty vile scum bag, I was so depressed when i found out, They make you feel like your the one in the wrong, I have to be strong, i must not take him back, He has tried to contact me by posting notes through my door, he doesnt have my phone number or email, So thats the only way he can try to get to me, I had the police contact him to say if he try to contact me again they will arrest him, Thanks to everyone on this site, And just remember we are women we can do anything,, xx

STAY STRONG!! XX

Jan 18 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
victimnomore
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you are not alone booboo35

you are not alone. I was with my NH for 25 years and he always was a sexual deviant. He use to force me to have sex with him and give him oral sex in the early years of our marriage. But by the time I escaped the relationship he became worse than ever. Only could have sex with porn playing. He would beg for threesomes. wanted me to have oral sex with a woman while he watched. I never got to do any of these things . thank god but he did talk me into having sex with him with a strap-on. He was out of control. He told me once that whenever he was home alone he would put porn on and use a dildo on himself while he masturbate. I could go on and on but I no longer enjoyed our sex life because it was not about pleasing me anymore. I was just an object. No foreplay, no kissing just slam bam thank you mam! I am 17 weeks NC and pray everyday that god just take him out of my head so I can have a normal life like I had before i met this psycho.

victimnomore