amyjo's story

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#1 Jan 8 - 1PM
amyjo
amyjo's picture

amyjo's story

HI everyone,

I met my Narc about a year after I split from my alcoholic husband. We have been together for 8 years and never married.

He swept me off my feet, completely different from the drunk. I once told someone at the beginning "He treats me like a queen" but I also said "I don't know what it is but I can't stand him and there's something that annoys me about him" Little did I know. But really I DID KNOW I was just ignoring red flags. I did try to split from him but he managed to get back in. He told me I was scared to let anyone back in because of the hurt from my ex.

5months later I became pregnant with my daughter and that's when things got NASTY. He hated my family, told me they were abusive, and managed to fight with them every chance he could. He did this as means of "helping me". I also had my son with him 3 years later. So I was stuck with him, stay at home Mom with 2 children. In between all of this he tried to make me feel bad about myself,gawked at everything that had a vagina, paid no attention to me, and made me feel unwanted and I had become very jealous and suspicious of his workaholism(he worked 70hrs a week selling cars. He went to my family,(whom he hated) and tried to see if they could "help me" because I obviously had mental problems. He suggested I go to a counselor for "my problems" and she told me it was HIM. When I told the psycho about it, he said "I'm not paying $90/hour for someone to tell you something wrong with me" So I quit going and started to read, ALOT, and discovered what this sick fuck is all about. NPD.

He always told me I was crazy, but I couldn't figure how someone like him was so normal
*He was sexually molested by his own brother (his parents never believed him)
*His mother was sexually molested by her step-father
*His father, an alcoholic creep, use to beat the mother and still treats her like shit
*He and his brother practically raised themselves, parents weren't really around to cook,clean etc.
*mother always gave him money, place to live, paid for everything until our daughter was 2 and then the lazy ass finally got a job
He could care less about his appearance, never brushed his teeth, didn't take showers, could never hold a job down for more than a few months. YUCK! Where was my head??????

He doesn't ever lock the doors in the house, leaves his keys in the ignition of his car (it has been stolen and recovered twice), never shuts off lights, Has no regard for safety even when it comes to his children.
EVERY SINGLE EVENT, HOLIDAY, OR OTHERWISE ENJOYABLE TIME HE WILL START HIS SHIT AND RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE.

He is ruining my childrens lives, I try not to argue in front of them but it is just unavoidable since he will follow me into every room getting in my face and not backing off until I swing at him. (He says he's being physically abused when this happens LMAO) Sometimes I see his traits within my children and it just freaks me out. They are probably around him about 15 hrs a week, but that's WAY too much. We will get away from him as I have a plan in the works. I intend to go back to my home state 1500miles away. I'm sure he will try to find a way to make us stay, legally. I just hope I don't encounter custody issues.

If I could only have some advice for one thing it would be this: My children can't stand him or his drama and are happy when he is not home, however they do like to play with him until he snaps at them for something. They have overheard me talk of leaving him and my daughter feels bad for him and says that's her Daddy and she loves him. It's the guilt I have with the kids that's a problem and I need to find a way to overcome it.

Thanks for listening-
Amy

Jan 10 - 2PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

Amy i really feel for you,

Amy i really feel for you, you already know what this man is. now you have to try leave when he least suspects it, just as you would leave a real live physco in those scary movies. place a report in a trusted friends place so it can be delived anon to the police station when youre gone telling them name number etc and that you are worried about your kids and your saftey give all your family members a letter two saying youre worried ge will turn violent quoting some provable things hes done like the car and house locking plus his verbal abuse. go to a therapist and let her write a letter that you are suffering from PSTD and include this to your family. do this for your kids when you have that money in yr bank account to start off push the eject button and acitvate the letters being sent. for kids safety dont talk about this this could open them up to blackmail by him. just know the longer u stay the more damage is done to them.
Jan 8 - 7PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

AMYJO

This sounds like the story of one of my friends. You know how it ended. He beat the crap out of her. She had been unhappy for years. He's anger towards their children also took its tool. Her teenage daughter has tried to hang herself, Taken pills and has been cutting. Why? Because Mr Wonderful was verbally abusive to her. Their 9 year old son witnessed he beating and is also in therapy. Mr. Wonderful was locked up until his Rich daddy went and bailed him out of jail. He is out of the house and the family is healing. Narc has no where to live. his true colors are shining bright with his own family. He has gone from house to house. After a week or so he has been asked to leave. She will be ok because the poison is gone from her families life. As for the Narc,who knows, my guess is he has only one option left. He'll need to find a new supply or die. Don't let this story be yours. Take control. He will not change. Its up to you. Stay here and lean. Read all you can and plan your escape. Hugs IDEALK