you know how much you want to talk and clear things up, its a complete energy thief.
try these instead:
1.today I made a bigpan of homemade potato fries which I enjoyed with that new tomato olivedipping sauce. oh that was good , even at his best N hasnever made me feel this good!!!!! Cost : less than a dollar.
2.Out walking after another frustrating fight with N, and felt like showing my love to someone who could take it. so coo cooed two gorgeous babies and quite a few dogs an puppies out walking. I can adore and stroke and get back a smile or a tail wag, (ask parents or owners first) Cost: zero

3.started admiring competant and understanding men in my work circle and life rather than goodlooking ones. Cost zero, payback new friends.

What substitutes do you have for staying NC, tell us please. A