Watchdog Dad, My A##

Watchdog Dad, My A##
Posted September 8, 2010 - 10:49pm
0

The Ex-N has been acting very weird the past couple of days, texting and emailing me constantly about schedules, weekends, and kid activities at school. This is after almost three years of being pretty much out of touch with everything having to do with our kids and school, or our kids and anything.

So now, apparently, he has decided to be father of the year and has called two of the kids' schools to try to volunteer and has tried to befriend all of the teachers and secretaries to give them his contact information. I have always taken care of everything school=relate (and everything else, LOL), so why is he so anxious to get involved now?

My oldest has all but removed him from her life, she's 15.5 and says that as soon as she can drive, she'll never stay at his apartment again. My 13 y.o. son tries to be fair, but he is annoyed by his dad's badgering about school events and his frequent phone calls. It is my youngest, who is 6, who really worries me. He is really pouring it on thick lately, although he is still too cheap to be Disney Dad.

What should I do here? I have already made copies of our divorce decree and given them to the school. The secretary at the elementary school today called me and told me that he was emailing her and bugging her to add his contact information. I explained the situation to her and she said that she found the legal documents in my daughter's file and would respect my wishes. But can he still just show up at her school anytime? Am I being unreasonable in not wanting him around her when it isn't his weekend? I need some input here.

‹ this sucks I always have to have popcorn when I go to the movies ›
Klarity Belle's picture

Dcrutche

September 13, 2010 - 2:35pm — Klarity Belle

So sorry to hear that you are having these problems with your xH. What is it with these guys that they think they can discard their children and then sail back into their lives whenever they feel like it?

Is there any legal advice you can take here - if you have proof that he hasn't been around or proof of previous abuse perhaps you can get some kind of agreement where he only sees them a short time and no overnights or something like that?

Fortunately two of your children are getting that bit older and will soon be able to call the shots themselves it is unfortunate for the youngest who is most likely going to bear the brunt of N's current Jekyll persona followed by the Hyde to come! No wonder you are worried.

You are the primary parent and caretaker of your children and he has no right to be sniffing around when it is not his designated time with the kids, this is him trampling your boundaries and you cannot allow this to happen. Same should go for the school situation, you are listed as primary parent and therefore you get to call the shots. I am sure they will keep you informed if he over steps any lines there.

Legally I can't advise as I am in another country but what you can do is keep yourself strong with firm boundaries, model healthy behaviours to your children and if their father is out of order and they complain then validate their feelings. Helping them to lower their expectations of dad is the best thing you can do to help them, though it will most likely take time for the youngest to be able to start this process.

Good luck, keep strong

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung

http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4