I think we could all help you better if we had an idea of how you are going to throw him out, and keep him out. Maybe you've already spelled this out? But in case anyone just finds this thread to go by, spell it out here.

In case you aren't clear on how you'll throw him out, this is a good opportunity to get clear, right now. Otherwise, it's putting the cart before the horse.

When I was on the verge of ending the relationship for good, I had NO idea how I would get him out and keep him out. Every time I tried to think it through, I would go straight into despair. I'd already done everything I could think of. Begged and reasoned with him until he got in his truck and left . . . but he came right back, got smart and refused to leave again. So when he was out, I'd get big expensive locks to put on the gate (three of them, over three different times) and changed the locks on the house TWICE.

Even that didn't keep him away.

I needed help to keep him away. I was sure I wanted him away, I wasn't ambivalent. But I couldn't do it on my own. I was too broken down, I guess. So I went all the way, ratted him out to the sheriff and in exchange for letting them toss our house, got a restraining order. I loaded a pistol (his, he had about twenty guns) and, although I can hardly believe it now, told everyone I talked to that I would shoot him if he came anywhere near me.

I almost hate to tell that story. That is how HARD it was to get him to leave me alone, so I could stay in the home.

Most Narcs are this way, they won't leave.

If I had to do it all over again, I would leave. Eventually, I did leave the area and he has no idea where I am now.

These Narc types with sociopathic tendencies, like yours and mine, are extremely hard to get rid of.

I don't mean to scare you or discourage you hon. I just don't want to you to fail. You have to face the hard facts of your situation, and being focused on writing a letter to him is like pissing in the wind. Write him a letter LATER, if you want to.

But for now, get real and make your plans, either to get rid of him and stay in the home or leave with your baby. He will plague you afterward, no matter what you do. How will you keep him away from you in the coming weeks and months? What will you do to ensure this?

You can't plan for everything, but you can make a solid preliminary plan. It will have to be very harsh. How far are you willing to go?