Mine did this sort of thing. He'd call and then not be available for my returned call soon after. Or we'd be texting or he'd be sending me pictures from his trip and then I'd call but he wouldn't answer.
Well, in my case I found out that when this happened, it was because he was with another woman. He could text me right in front of her, (lying to her about whom he was texting and lying to me about whom he was with on that vacation) but couldn't talk.

Weird phone behavior is very often a sign of infidelity.

After the initial D&D there were no phone calls, ever. Only texts. I would call and say, "Hi, wanted to talk a bit. Please call me" and he would text me right back and say, "Hi, baby. What's up?" Now I know a bunch of these times he was with someone else and of course couldn't answer, but it came to be every single time, even when he was standing outside the house by himself. I would call him and he wouldn't answer. I would watch as he looked at his phone, waited a minute, listened to my message and then TEXTED ME BACK. Very, very strange.

Also, his phone calls and texts came in CONSTANTLY. I mean, every minute his phone rang. On his last birthday, I had broken up with him and he begged me back. I was really pissed about the phone calls and texts and his female friends not knowing about me, etc. so we were in this interesting situation where we went to the lake to feed the ducks on his birthday. Whenever the phone rang, I said, "Answer it," and I think he felt pressure to answer and "show me" that he wasn't messing around with anyone. So here are the calls he got in a half hour:

1. His brother
2. His first girlfriend, who he always calls Braless Girl because she has never worn a bra in her life.
3. His other brother
4. His brother's girlfriend
5. His former fiancee. He talks to her every day and told me three years ago that she knew about me. I had my ear next to his head while he was on the phone, and when she asked, "Are you at the lake by yourself?" he said, "I"m with my girlfriend," and you could hear a pin drop on the other end before she exclaimed, "Your
GIRLFIEND?!? Since when do you have a girlfriend?" He said, "I'll call you later." I think that was the longest hour of his life--when he felt compelled to answer the phone in front of me.

Mine could not stand to be alone for one minute. He had to always be talking to someone or texting them. So, if he was out to dinner with someone and they went to the bathroom or something, he had to text a bunch of people so that he didn't feel alone. So I know when he texted me I was one of three or four in a minute or two, and if I texted him back after his friend came back to the table, that was it until he got home or until the next day. He would also go out to smoke when he was out places with people, and if there was no one else out smoking that he could talk to he would call someone or text them. Once the cigarette was done, he'd go back inside and no longer need the fix.

They ALWAYS have, I think,a half dozen calls and texts into people so that there is always someone right there, calling or texting back. They don't call or text because they are thinking of us and wanting to talk to us, but just to keep it going at all times, with every person.

Of course, it's all about control. Everything is.

Yep! Same thing. I was having a LDR with a narc who called me every day, sometimes several times a day early on in the relationship. Then I started to notice that the calls became less frequent and he only called me when he was commuting home. My phone would ring around 5:30-6 and it was Andy. Like clockwork.

Then - sometimes for 45 minutes or more - I'd have to listen to what he thought were the hugely fascinating details of his day. Sensing that he was talking only about himself, he'd ask "so how was YOUR day?" and when I'd begin to tell him, he'd cut me off with "I've got to take this call" or "here's my exit" or "I've got to call you back" (no reason given). And of course, he never would.

When I questioned him about it, he'd always have some excuse like "I thought it would be too late to call you back" or "it was a longer call than I expected" or "I had to meet my son for dinner."

Funny thing... early on during the courting stage, he never worried about calling me too late!

Also, if I called HIM back later, it always went into his voicemail.

So I got tired of being his "phone friend" and having him cancel visits at the last minute and finally told him two weeks ago not to contact me anymore. And that was that! Phew.

It's all about the control.

Used to happen to me all the time. Sometimes we were talking and quite appruptly he would say "I have to go, I'll call you back" and he never would. We would also make arrangements to meet and he wouldn't show, no texts, no calls. It's extremely passive/aggressive, but that was his method of choice. If he didn't want to talk to you, he would simply not respond.

I would call mine on the way home from work but that was his alone time so he would purposely not answer the phone... would say he didn't hear it. one day I decided to pick up dinner rather than make it so I called him to see what he wanted... he didn't pick up his phone so I just didn't get him anything. He threw SUCH a hissy fit that night. Now this just makes me laugh.

When I reconnected with mine and we were in the idealization phase we would talk all day long for a few months. Now I look back the beginning of the D&D was when he stopped taking my phone calls. I mean he will not talk to me on the phone. Only texts. See my thread called texting. Yet would still profess his love for me thru a text message. I think they like texting because that way they can control the conversation. They can answer the questions they want to answer and not answer the ones they dont. When they feel like punishing you they just dont return your text. I read that ignoring someone is always a control tactic.

Really it all makes sense: Haven't you ever wondered why these people dont just say Its over or I dont want to talk to you or Im sorry it didnt work for us but its over or you ask a tough question that has a yes or no answer. Have you ever noticed they will side step it? Its becuase if they give you an answer that gives you a resolution and closure which = Loss of control. They can no longer dominate and control you. They always want to keep you wondering and trying. They give you just enough indulgence to keep you jumping thru the hoops and trying harder. It make them feel special. Sick!

Same here.

Used to tell me to call him or txt me then wouldn't answer the phone. Since found out that he used to stand in the pub with his beer drinking buddies and when I called, bare in mind he'd asked me to, he used to raise eyebrows to them and say 'oh she's calling me AGAIN!!'

yep n used to text and say text back and i will phone you, i would text back, then wait and wait, so phone him back, he had turned his phone off, when i would ask him why he done it, he would say i must have sat or leanened on phone,and turned it off, i would say, but you got the text i sent you ,my phone tells me when the person gets my texts, he said no i didnt get your text, so thought you didnt want to talk, i said you have just contradicted yourself again. i hate that i put up with all this, irealy do. i stopped phoning or texting him, and got him to delete my number, so that way this was one mind game he couldnt keep playing.