truthseeker's story

I found this site devouring info about Ns. I have had NC for 2 months.

We met on a dating site and the very 1st time he contacted me I said to myself this is a bad sign. He contacted me on the annivesary date of my wedding. I had been divorced for 10 years and had only been in 1 relationship since then and that had been a LONG time ago. I had spent alot of time working on myself and was in a really godd place spiritually, was full of light and confidence.

He came on like gangbusters in the beginning. Sent flowers after our 1st date. Diamond earrings for my birthday and we flew home for the holidays to meet my family. He set the date within our 1st month together. I was ecstatic to have met a man that didn't play games. The 1st time my gut really spoke to me was the day after Christmas. I was working on a project and heard him say"hey baby". He actually said he was talking to his son and like a dumbass, let it slide.

New Years Eve I drove to his house and his son let me in. He was flying in later that night from a business trip. I was in love and naked waiting in his bed I heard him come in and waited and waited, finally I got up and he was in his office drinking wine and reading e-mails. I didn't feel well that weekend and for the 1st time turned him down for sex. He accused me of being with someone else.Project much?

Fast forward to May he was on the phone making reservations for a trip I knew nothing about. It hit me really hard that I didn't warrant communication. He said he wanted to talk to me and he had a certain way he wanted to do it at the end of the weekend. He had been dangling the engagement ring like a carrot for months. So after holding me hostage emotionally all weekend he announced he wanted me there in 2 weeks. To just give all of my belongings away. I then knew nothing about my life mattered. It had no longer felt like I was sacrificing anything I had wanted to be there. Even though I was giving up the city that I loved, my friends and job. Now he was saying this was not a fairytale I wasn't a princess and the glass slipper didn't fit. I was so emotionally drained. He spent the rest of the evening drinking and fell asleep on the couch. I stayed up till 4 am reeling. I gathered my things to leave he woke up and said I'd been through too much to drive, to stay and get some sleep. I did only to wake up gather my things and as I was walking down the hall to leave I could hear him whistling as if he didn't have a care in the world. He was so shocked when I told him it was over the only thing he could say was what am I going to tell my friends?

He showed up the next weekend at my door to ask me if I would have dinner with him. I said no. I called him the next morning to say I would meet him for coffee I had some things to get off my chest.As we were leving the coffee shop he pulled the ring out of his pocket and said "I ws going to propose to you last night". who does that?

He kept trying to get me back. I changed my phone #. The very next day there was a note on my door that said Fresh start? unfortunately for me I took this as a sign that this man really loved me and called him. I told him things would have to be really different. Since he had taken so many trips during our time together without me, I told him he needed to take me on one. We went to a tropical destination where he spent the weekend putting my body down. When we 1st met he would say how did I get so lucky, now this. I spent the rest of the trip devasted alone in our room while he went snorkelling by himself.

Sadly even that wasn't the last straw. I had spent so much time trying to figure what happened to that man I had met. I had doted on him with a glad heart. I was always left amazed at how he could be so cruel and every time sweep it under the carpet as if nothing had ever happened. Right after our return, a cherished family member passed away after a long illness. I went home for the funeral he picked me up frome the airport to find me absolutely drained with grief. He chose this time to announce we were done. I have since learned it is better to pray they break up with you because they can't accept it when you break up with them and will go to great lengths to get you back.

Even though he had ended it on his terms he never left me alone. I have since learned about needing his N supply. Then I found out he was on FB. To find out that he had kept this hidden the entire time we were together was unforgivable to me. This told me if it were innocent he wouldn't have kept it from me. I was livid. He sent me an e-mail showing he had deleted his account. I never trusted him after that. He coninually tried to get me back. Please come for the holidays. Letters here e-mails there, finally his contacts dwindled. I surmised he had found a new victim. Then he started contacting me more and more frequently. I did some snooping and there he was on FB. He had no idea I knew. After discovering this I said to him we have been apart a long time and it's ok that you are in a new relationship. And I meant it. What wasn't ok was he was so sick that he had communicated with me the entire time. That it wasn't fair to me or her. He actually said to me"I'm not on FB and I'm not in a relationship". I told him you're a man there is no way you've gone without sex. He admitted to sex. "WITH A HOOKER". I proceeded to tell him I dn't think his new relationship would appreciate being called a hooker. I drove to his home high on power of this knowledge. I wanted to watch him lie to my face. When we met I was a size 2, needless to say after bieng demoralized and dismissed I had sunk into a deep funk and had been isolating for a long time. I was embarrassed for him to see me. He insisted he was a failure at relationships, had given up, quit working out and was heavier also. When I arrived he was in better shape than I'd ever seen him. In fact he stripped naked to announce look how skinny I am. He then proceeded to put on swim trunks and leave me alone in his house. I went into the bathroom to wash my face and there was a prescription bottle with her name on it.

Trembling I left too upset to drive , I got a motel room. 2 hours had passed, he had just come in and to his surprise I was gone. I told him what I'd found and he said it must be one of his son's friends. He called every 30 minutes, I didn't pick up. he left a message saying his son ws going to call to explain everything.

The OW was contacted and I really feft sorry for her, she like I, had had no idea. The next morning I recieved an e=mail from him that he had only tried to shield me but God was on my side and his time had come.

That's the gist of this sick, sordid tale with lots of details left out, of all of his cruelty. I am a champion for women and felt no ill will towards her. We were just 2 in a long line I'm sure.