Total Lack of Empathy

truthseeker

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1 year 29 weeks

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1 year 7 weeks

Total Lack of Empathy

Posted September 4, 2010 - 10:21pm

while attending the funeral that I mention in my story, I phoned him the day of and told him I couldn't believe he hadn't called to check on me or my family to see how we were doing. His reply" I was just sitting here thinking about you"
"The entire time I've known you ,you've never swallowed my c@#"
I was so shocked and sickened I started crying and got off the phone right away.

He probably won't even have

September 5, 2010 - 5:24pm — Briseis

He probably won't even have a funeral. The only people that would come are the old ladies from the church who go to everyone's funeral because they don't have anything else to do.

He is a gaping maw of the most disgusting humanity has to produce. He fell out of the asshole of God and got mixed up with the humans. He was a BIG MISTAKE.

And you give him the permission to hurt you like this? Stop now, please ((((hugs)))). If you still yearn to get love and acceptance from him, or some kind of apology, some kind of admission that he really is the useless garbage he is, then you are deluding yourself.

You are hurting yourself. You are putting yourself in the line of fire and then crying because you got a bullet :(

You aren't stupid honey, you are brainwashed. Believe the others who say get away and stay away. It will all make sense very soon.

In case I missed that you are now away from him, I'll say GOOD for you :) but I'm too lazy to go back and change all my verbs to past tense ((((hugs))))

Briseis

September 5, 2010 - 5:38pm — truthseeker

It's been over since that funeral last Sept. He did try for the next 10 months to get me back. I didn't waiver in my resolve . Have had complete NC for 60 days. he can't contact me by phone or e-mail. he has stopped sending letters and leaving things at my door. I do not mourn the loss of him at all. I have only been angry with myself for not listening to my gut from the beginning. I don't miss someone who never loved me to begin with. I undrstand he is uncapable of it. I'm just staring to not beat myself up so much.
Embracing Recovery
Truthseeker

truthseeker

September 5, 2010 - 10:25am — helldweller

Assh*le. He needs to die.
I will never forget the myriad times he did stuff like that, during funerals, illnesses, etc. These things were just an inconvenience--no a personal attack on--the narc. Once I went to the hospital because I fainted on the street. I was in the emergency room and he texted me, "Something really dirty baby." I wrote back "I'm in the hospital." He wrote back, "Nothing?" Absolutely no regard for, interest in, concern for my being hospitalized. He just wanted some dirty texts, and I'm sure he got them from someone else.

That's sick

September 5, 2010 - 6:19pm — Susan32

A man who expects X-rated texts when you're in the ER is... disgusting. Beyond disgusting. Didn't the monster ever bother to think people have LIVES outside of him? Oh yeah, that would mean THINKING... something Ns/Ps are NOT good at.

Your ex-N sounds monstrous. He's the one who needs to be in the hospital, with some inconvenience of his own! Idiot.

The ex-Psych professor lashed out me when I gave him some sympathy on account of his aunt's illness (he acted as if going back to Massachusetts to see her over Thanksgiving break was some awful inconvenience) This was HIS aunt... NOT mine, mind you! He lashed out at me after my grandfather died, DURING CLASS, saying things like "Toughen up."

The ex-P said his favorite scene in "War and Peace" is when the narcissistic Prince Andrei Bolkonsky (yes,Prince Andrei has been diagnosed as a Narc,long before I did) drives people away from him when HE'S on his deathbed. Prince Andrei is dying... and he doesn't want his loved ones to be with him;he wants to die completely alone. He's also a nihilist. He thinks his death will make him one with Nature-no sense of a final judgment for him,or final accountability before God. The ex-P thought Prince Andrei was his hero.

helldweller,ewa & allthatglitters

September 5, 2010 - 10:41am — truthseeker

thanks for the comments. Just started posting. I have 60 days NC today. They are so sick. I retalliated a few times during my time with him and always felt horrible and guilty about it. My heart just isn't that dark. throughout our relationship I heard you are so wrong and I never tried for us or I stoppped trying. I had a procedure last year and had some post-op complications. when I told him what my Dr. had to do he said you won't be tight anymore.

What an insensitive idiot...

September 6, 2010 - 6:21pm — Susan32

Even when you're the one SUFFERING, he only thinks about HIM, and what's in it FOR HIM. Truly disgusting. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

The ex-Psych professor would tell me numerous times DURING CLASS, "If you're so unhappy, why don't you kill yourself" after my grandfather died. It came to everyone-including me-as a shock. He had a thing about suicide. One of his favorite Arthur Schopenhauer quotes is about suicide being the ultimate act of the will. His favorite philosopher, Wittgenstein, had brothers who committed suicide--and was himself depressed&suicidal. He also liked Leo Tolstoy, whose wife attempted suicide (obviously as a result of narcissistic abuse),and in "Anna Karenina",the character based on Leo himself, Levin, is still contemplating suicide even after the recent birth of his son.

When I told the ex-P "Tolstoy was abusive to his wife. If you love someone, you don't drive them to self-destruction",his response was "She (Sofia) REALLY loved him."

He saw attempted or actual suicide as some ultimate act of love. VERY SICK.