This was for me one of the most damaging behavior that my ex N displayed while whith me...one example : six months later after D&D (i didn't knew yeat about narcissism)i went to visit him,he let me in i really didn't want to have discussions or anything i just wanted to show him that i was trying to move on and that i was accepting what it was and that i could be just like an acquaintance maybe friend to him...i just really wanted some normality between us so i could feel peace and him too...Well after talking for a while ,he hugged me and told me that me being there felt very good,and that he was enjoyin our get together more that he would never had expected...i was there about 6pm till 3 am...just drinlking cofee,having dinner and he was very talkative...he told me well did you think i was gong to let you get out my life just like that? oh i almost forgot to say...when i came in he had 2 pictures in his room..mine and from his favorite singer Hikaru Utada(japanese)...and told me this is my old girlfriend(me)and this is my new one (Hikaru),i had give him some chocolates and scented body milk i bought in Holland (thats were i live,he lives in Tulsa oklahoma USA)so he was enjoying himself,me too i was happy thinking we were finished but felt better without hostilities from his side....Till about 3 am he told me well i will take you to your hotel and i never want to see you again...and 5 minutes earlier he just told me that he wanted to spend aweek here in Holland with me and would be fun visiting Amsterdam ,the museums etc.....(he did invite himself).Driving to the hotel he started screaming at me almost crashed the car...he also told me he tpught about shooting himself on the head....i got frightened,i was crying,his face,he changed...in 5 minutes like Jekill and Hide...so i got to the hotel crying,he did hold me kissed my forehead and there he went...i was in shock...the next day he called to thank me for the chocolates....2 days later i went back from Tulsa to Amsterdam....My question is...do they realize how they are instable?this is stuff that i only thought existed in Horror Movies....right after i got back i started googling Abusive Relationships and got here...Thanks Lisa and all the amazing men and women in here...Now i know it wasn't me and what Disordered really means...There is no hope for him he is Sick....