lisalisa47's story

I am a foolish girl who fell for the wrong prince.

I was warned by people that my Narc was an A@@@le. But I didn't see it like that. I only saw a guy who used to be a classmate of mine back in the 80's. Someone I didn't know very well back then but he contacted me on one of those "reunion" social network. And, I was coming out of an 18 year relationship, and he was dying of pancreatic cancer - or so he said.

Since I had worked in hospital setting for over 10 years I naturally wanted to help. We started an email friendship, and although I wasn't initially attracted to him, there was something about him that struck a chord in me.

Our very first "date" turned into moving in together two months later, and then a 2 and a half year relationship which started out like a fairy tale, slowly turned into a bad Lifetime movie, and ended in a crime drama when the DEA busted through our front windows at 8:54 a.m. August 19th, and arrested him for credit card fraud against my elderly parents.

"S" was at first, so attentive and complimentary without appearing "slick" that it was almost embarrassing. His eyes lit up everytime he saw me, his hardened "criminal type" friends even commented on the change in him - even an ex GF with whom he had had a child stated "how much he had changed for the better since meeting me".

Of course, as he didn't die, I am now questioning the cancer -LOL. But whatever it was, he THOUGHT he was dying and we went to many many emergency rooms, and lived through hospital stays in which he had batteries of tests for the problem with his "guts". He even had documentation and appointment papers with cancer doctor's names on them, so somewhere along the line, some medica professional had suggested Stage2B pc.

By this time I was madly in love with his him, and his obvious enjoyment in my company. I gladly cleaned up his puke, and even had to help "disimpact" him for from being clogged up from pain pills.

When we found out Novemeber 2008 he didn't appear to hav CA but some lesser gut problem, we were thrilled and planned to get married just as soon my divorce was final.

He told me i made him want to be a better person, and even stayed home to go through oxycontin withdrawals himself, because we couldn't afford drug rehab for him at the time.

After that, he started "using" occassionally, (we both did) and THAT's when the decline started in my eyes.

First, our sex life went - which was never that frequent to begin with - as he stayed up all night playing his PS3 games. I put it down to "quirky", thought it was cute, plus we still had that old affection.

Then I got laid off of my job, and he started to get irritable more frequently. I was home all the time while looking for work, as I was trying to break into freelance writing.

THEN, we had to move because of our pit bull Fluffy, and i had to find the place myself, and do all the packing. I figured lack of sleep, staying up from dope all contributed to his irritation, and blew it off.

I got a job for a few months out of town, and would call him to check in, and call back if i had not heard his voice - just like he always did with me. At one point, I mentioned that he never called me back, and he snapped that "he knew i was fine, he got my message" - this from the man who used to tell me he loved me every 5 minutes.

The cruelness started officially when on my first night out of town on a weeks job, I didnt bother to call him again after I got no reply from the first message i left - you know, so i wouldn't bug him. Well, at 11:30 pm I heard my phone beep and played a grumpy sounding voice mail from him complaining that i hadn't bothered to check in. I called him right back, and of course he didn't pick up. He was always doing that to people. So i blew it off and went back to sleep.
He texts me at 3 am with an infidelity accusation, says he's OUTTA HERE. Panicked, I try to call him all night, no answer, text him, no answer. He didn't call me until the end of the week on the last day, all happy, like nothing happened. I was a wreck that whole week. When I asked him about it, I got a defensive reply in lieu of an apology.

To finish up, from there came the "secretive emails", hiding his phone or erasing texts. Finally, HE got a job in construction out of town. Was paid cash, deposited about 5 or 600 dollars every time. Then I saw the email to the escort girl. In tears, questioned him about it, he raged at me that it was no big deal, it was "business deal" he was trying to buy into. But now We were only having sex about once every few months, if that. When I tried to bring my feelings nicely to the table, he got angry, said he was getting tired of the same old "shit" from me, and would go back to neglecting me.

I heard rumors from neighbors, apparently he liked to brag about his "conquests" with hookers - yeah, that must have taken some sleek moves on his part, huh?

The day he was arrested he had kicked me for the first time because i woke him up to ask him for the garage keys. The night before he was so sick, kept barfing, and was "out of it" from flu medicine that he fell. I attempted to help him up, and got raged at, locked out of the house.

While we were both cuffed, I learned why my car had been staying full of gas while we were broke, and they found my dad's credit card under the sofa. There's more and much worse, but that's for a later time.

I haven't spoken to him since they hauled him away, packed up my stuff and the dog, what belongings I could fit, and moved in with friends 200 miles away. I shut off his phone, went back to the old apartment to clean up a few things, had my next door neighbor go to the mailbox for me, and there were two letters from him. I begged her not to read them aloud, she insisted on telling me "parts" - he LOVES me, he DIDN"T do it, he'll be out in 90 days. I'm ALL HE HAS. Tonight, I finally wrote him a five page letter explaining why he hasn't heard from me, and why I'm walking away.

I have never felt so alone in my life, as i do right now.