Your post really resonated with me, helldweller. I asked the ex-Psych professor what he wanted from me.... and he was evasive. I remember getting really jealous when a beautiful blonde senior thanked the ex-P for dinner at his apartment. I NEVER got to see his apartment, not once.

For the ex-P, my declaration of love transgressed my role as student. To him, I was ALWAYS to be the student. He couldn't accept the fact I'd graduate and move on. After the D&D, I said something to the effect of "I thought we were 'just friends.'" His response was the cold "I was never your friend." He then said that there was supposed to be this waiting period between me being his student to being his friend.

He never seemed to get it that teachers and their former students might see each other as equals. Of course, when I told him I loved him, I HAD TO PAY. He made it all about roles. When he said he saw himself as a role (a teacher) rather than a human being, I said THAT was his problem. I pointed out that he was a son, a brother--and that riled him. He sputtered, "Think of me just as a teacher!"

That's why I find consolation coming here. Other places, I'd be ridiculed as the "lovelorn student who threw herself at a poor professor"--not someone who was remorselessly played by a psychopath.

The ex-P cast me in a role that doesn't change... because HE is the one incapable of change. Psychs/Narcs can't stand the fact that people change. Normal people tend to do that.

Amy Thanks!

I needed to read the no contact thing. I do fine while i'm 200 miles away but as I haven't actually finished cleaning out my stuff completely, i have to go back to the old apartment (it's only been 15 days since this happened) and get a few tihngs at a time. Even though he's in jail at this moment, I always feel depressed when I'm there, and miss him, even though that apartment didn't really hold any memories that were loving between us. Does that make sense?

thats why i walked away....but he keeps his face long and acts aloof ...but I have seen him in social setting just fine with out me....having fun....may be its all an act?

i know where you are coming from, but i also believe they realy think they are men of mystery, or like to play that, in fact they are boring nobodies, who if he had told me any truths, i would maybe of thought so that is the big mystery. wow, lol. he did say to me once, about beign a man of mystery, i said you are as transparent as clear glass, he didnt take that well.i called him boring several times towards the end, i said you are boring and your lies are boring, and you are not even very good at it. reading this board tho, and how you and others have suffered for actually beign in a relationship with them, does make me think of something he said to me once. quote. you dont relize it but you get the best of me, at the time i didnt know what he was talking about. I DO NOW. to be his gf must be terrible, he wanted me to go and meet his ex once,b/c i walked the walk and talked the talk and was everything she wanted to be, his words not mine, to show up were she was i said no chance, i wouldnt do that to her. you are bad enough as a freind, as a bf you must have been hell on earth. he looked gutted. but he didnt reply.