I was married to an N for 5 years that isolated me in every possible way. He used sex to make me feel nasty and told me how I could lose weight, shape up and many other things to make myself more desirable for him. I did everything possible and even many things he asked to only be turned away and left to cry and figure out what I had done wrong. He denied affairs the entire time but finally I was confronted head on with 1 which he continued to deny until I said "so Janice is just saying that y'all are having sex?" At that point he began to beg and blame me. If only I had been the wife I should have been, if I had just not griped so much, let more things go, made more money and the list goes on and on. Due to my religious beliefs I would have never left him except for an affair. I left searched my sould and divorced him with loads and loads of guilt. It was my fault in my mind and I never forgave myself. I quickly remarried---guess what it didn't work. a few years later I ended right back up with the first N---he had changed, he was so loving caring, everything you would want in a man----until I got pregnant and we married. It was over. He had women on speed dial, his cell rang constantly he hid it from me, he stayed on the computer or away from home. He left when our baby was about 1.5 years old---he left the house that is he left me a long time before that. I stayed again due to religious reasons until I knew for sure there was another---really a bunch of others. I filed for divorce and guess what. Good ol boy came back and he would bring me the moon if I would just not go through with it. He saw the error of his way but I had to take my blame too. During this time---after I had filed for divorce I got a new boss--male, young, single. He was new to town and he was 1st in command and I was 2nd so we worked close together. He knew I was going thru a divorce with a guy that just wouldn't leave me alone. We became friends and I told him everything. He talked me thru some tough times but I made it clear I was not getting into a relationship---I said never and he said, "oh yeah I bet you will". Little did I know he was feeding himself---learning all my weaknesses, all my ego issues to knock me down as soon as he had the chance. So as you can guess after my divorce was final I went out with him and boom all of a sudden this guy who hadn't had sex in 2.5 years and had no interest in a relationship was whooing me into the his bed. It went south quick. He turned on me at work, went to the lowest levels to get me fired. Started flirting and I assume seeing other women at work and within 3 weeks I had the "why don't you just quit" threw at me. He threatened to fire me, requested I quit and turned everybody he could against me. I had an army working with him to get me terminated---all women with puppy dog eyes falling for his bull. I finally called corp to come in and look at it. I confessed my sin and waited it out. They suspended us both pending investigation---I hear he was terminated but I still haven't heard my fate. I am so sick that I did something so wrong--sinful, terrible to my reputation and most of all fell for all he said to me. I truly believed what he was saying. Now I know he just took my insecurities and turned them on me. He was the slickest N I've ever seen. He, my ex-husband and former best friend all are clasic N's. I strugled over the fact that I had allowed myself to be taken by 3---who all love each other by the way and are in this together. Talk about feeling crazy. Thanks to much research I know what I have done to reveal him was the right thing to do. I'm just thankful I found this site to help me heal.