I know that because of my role models when growing up I was never able to understand what a healthy relationship is. In addition, I had little sense of self and value for myself.

I like this quote very much:

"Compassion for yourself means understanding how difficult it is to change old patterns and how much you DESERVE to change them to get the kind of relationship that you have always wanted....
Compassion for your partner means understanding how difficult it is for him or her to change old patterns and how deserving he or she is to have a closer relationship with you."

-Steven Stosny, PhD

Within the context of avoiding dangerous partners, I see this as:

(SELF-COMPASSION- choosing a partner from a newly learned position of strength and self-knowledge, rather than from a trained position of vulnerability and myopic desperation.)

(PARTNER COMPASSION- is a natural extension of self-compassion-knowing yourself, being true to your core-values, which you must have FIRST, therefore you will choose someone safe and be able to understand them...)