WellRed's Story

I have been married to my N for 25 years. I met him at age 19, so I don't know any other life. I knew when we married there was something "not right" with him. It wasn't until a few years ago I came accross an article about NPD. I was floored, it may as well of had his picture in place of the dozen or so symptoms. For years I had been verbally abused and told I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, thin enough. I didn't know it was actually abuse! I used to always tell myself "as long as I don't belive the things he accusses me of, I am OK." Also, I used to say that as long as the good outweighs the bad, I'm OK. Well, I wasn't OK. I began taking anti-depressants after talking to my doctor. He gave me a perscription, but told me "there isn't a pill in the world that will cure what's wrong with you". (I had broken down in his office and told him everything). What an eye opener! I began to realize that I could no longer stand to listen to him talk about himself, listen to him put others down, alienating all his friends as well as his whole family. If his lips are moving - he is lying. Oh yes, and a cheat. He has cheated on me every time he has had the chance and I know he is continueing to do so. He had been out of work for the past year and recently did land a job. I got lucky - the job is three hours away and now he is set up in his own apartment. I live in our house with my pets and have never known the peace I can enjoy when I come home from work each night ALONE!! For 25 years, I included him in every decision that I made. He has never thought twice about me in any decisions that he has made. To make a long story short, I went to visit him and it was a disaster!! Out in public he had a smile and a kind word for every woman out there - except me! Every time we left the house, he would make some comment about what I was wearing and was trying to make me self concious before I could even get out of the car! Also found him on smut dating sites advertising himself for a "discreet relationship". Needless to say I came home a day early and told him I didn't want him to come home every weekend anymore - there is no sense to it. SO far, the last 2 weekends he had REASONS he had to come home. He continues to try and call me as though everything is fine. I am not to the point of NC yet, but my life is more bearable without him in it. I look forward to becoming a part of this forum. I have been reading it for a couple of weeks, then joined and now here is my story.