Kids and custody with the N

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#1 Jun 21 - 9PM
JordansMom
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Kids and custody with the N

It's almost been two years since he left me. I have been in fights with him everyday since then about our son. He has now remarried coming up on 9 months and it's both of them against me. They have tried to get custody by saying I'm crazy, neglectful, stupid and all these other awful things in court. Judge smacked them back and continued letting me have full custody. Now they are after blood.
I do everything humanly possible to remain NC but, with a kid, it's very difficult. He sends emails constantly pushing boundaries and most I don't respond to which makes them worse at attacking me. My attorney had to get back involved today and I feel good to have her by my side again but, damn, I'm beyond mentally tired. I have to go in for open heart surgery and they are gearing up to, once again, take me to court for full custody saying I'm not physically able to care for him. They told me they wish this surgery would kill me. WTF!!!
I'm only 36 and they are wearing so much I feel like I'm 80.

Here's my question to those of you who have kids with the N, does it ever stop?

When will he start abusing the new wife and leave me alone?

Jun 22 - 5AM
AnotherPath
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JordansMum

I had 2 years of letters to my solicitor full of lies and rage. In the end I went to the police so they had a word with him. I dropped the solicitor as I couldn't afford it anymore. I blocked his email, so he doesn't send this stuff anymore. In your case the judge can see right through his crap and he needs to be VERY careful because he will never do well in court. Keep a diary of all the things he does, document everything just in case you need it. 2 weeks ago ExN told my kids I was on drugs and that he'd wanted to leave but I would have taken his money. Unbelievable really, which is great because even though the kids are little they just ignore this. He has a new victim too or 7 months, tells kids "he's in love" all the time and that he's going to get married. On saturday I get a text from him, with a picture of the kids saying they're having a lovely time and they love their mummy very much. OH OH alarm bells ring, so the new victim must have had her first D&D. When the kids get back they didn't see his new victim at the weekend, first time in the 7 months. Best advice I can give, don't write anything back in response to his and wife (victims) anger. Just keep everything you have to do to a minimum. Keep all records of what they're writing so don't speak to them as you can't document this. You need to start making a profile of them so the judge can see the proof of their behaviour if he actually does take you to court. If his life was so great with her he wouldn't even be bothering you. He's not being very intelligent, he's already been refused full custody and that's not going to change, the judge will lose his patience with the man, he has no reason to take you back to court he's just doing it to be abusive, this will be apparent. Hang in there I know it's hard.

Ending the dance

Jun 21 - 10PM
betty2020
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I do not have kids with the

I do not have kids with the N. I do know how he treated the mothers of the three kids he has. Like Absolute shit! The bottom line is he did not want to be financially responsible anymore and wanted them to just move in with us. He used all tactics to make himself appear to be super Dad! Crock of Crap i tell you. What he is doing to you now is harassment. Although it differs state to state slightly, you can move forward with filing a criminal report and seeking a restraining order on him for email harassment and phone harassment. I would suggest contacting the sheriffs office immediately and explaining your situation, you do not need your attorney to do this. Document everything. Dates, Times, Calls, Dialogue ect.... If he is ordered to stop by the Judge and he does not comply he will go to jail. To answer will he quit? Not until he can make the clear identification that you are no longer a source of his supply. Right now you are the negative supply he seeks out in boredom. Im sorry to say but i believe they use their children as catalyst to maintain the connection thus the supply. I believe in the case with the N, the best co-parenting relationship is when you send him a 3 sentence MAX email/text. It should only pertain to; A Doctors visit, School, an Emergency situation. Choose your words wisely. Speak your peace then shut him down. If he has other questions he can contact the school, doc, ect... to get his answers. Be Firm. Keep filing harassment charges on and contact the police to have him arrested when he breaks the order. If he does take you back to court you will have a good case to work with. Just remember you must follow through. Making an empty threat will only worsen the matter. Im so sorry to hear you are going through all of this while you are sick. Please be kind to yourself first. I will be sending prayers and love to you...xoxoox

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jun 22 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
JordansMom
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betty2020

Just wondering how you felt while seeing the mom being treated like this. Did you think she deserved it and he would not do the same to you?