rainbow1's story

Since all of you have been included with a Narc is some way I am sure that you know that this will not be a short story. So here we go....

I met my ex-Narc through mutual friends. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a horrible person (borderline). I went to his house for a party. He had a girlfriend but she wasnt there and he was talking about breaking up with her. All night he was asking questions to my friends about me and how beautiful I was and how he just wanted to get to know me. He asked if I would stay the night. I said no but then got a little tipsy and my friends were my ride home and really wanted me to get to know this guy. The next morning he acted like we have been together for years. I went home early and he text me the second I left saying "I am so glad we met each other. Dont you think it is crazy that our friends think we are perfect for each other?"

I was very creeped out by how strong he was coming on. Also, I had sworn off guys for awhile. But then after a month of talking he started to ignore me and said that I needed to decide what I wanted because he doesnt do casual relationships. So of course I gave in and we started to move quickly, but he was so perfect that I couldnt help it. He was everything that I have ever looked for. After about a month some of my stuff started moving in. All of his friends and family said they have never seen him like this and I am the only one he has ever showed so much affection for. He started looking for rings and talking about living together full time.

But after a few months he started letting himself show. He had anger problems and abandonment issues (his mom kicked him out at 14 to go see a therapist for his anger issues but he refused, he saw this as her abandoning him). He would get anger and punch his truck for no reason. He started getting ver selfish. We left when he was ready, always on his time. Before we left anywhere he would have to wash my car, or his street bike, or the truck, whatever we were taking so show off. Work also started getting bad and he was geting frustrated with that. He kept telling me that he would never leave and I would leave him first. Also, that he has never been this close to someone before and it scared him.

We started fighting here and there. One day he took off on his street bike for hours and didnt come home until very late. He told me that he was going to his dad's but when he never showed up we were all worried about him. He was very depressed and told met that morning that I was too good for him and that I should leave him. So I was worried that he was hurt or hurt himself. When he got home and said he was just out thinking I was mad that someone could make someone else worry that much about them so I started packing my stuff. He said "Fine, if I cant ride my bike when I want then I dont want to be with you! Leave and never come back!"

I left and right after he text me "You know that I love you, just give me time to do what I want to do". The next morning he text me like he always does to wake me up for work like nothing happened. But then he would ignore me and tell everyone horrible things about me and that we would never be together. Of course he never told me this, he never came me closure even though I begged and begged. I finally gave up begging him and two weeks later he showed back up. I found out that he had slept with three girls in those two weeks (girls that he knew would make me mad). He also drank! Alot! He is not a drinker but he was like a fish these two weeks. During this break up he also held the rest of my stuff hostage. He kept all of my girly stuff in his room but just took up the pictures of me and put them back up empty. He also left my drawers empty. He would also drive by my house but pretend like I didnt see him. When he started talking to me again he used this to make me feel guilty. He would say things like "obviously I cant forget about you if I left it up" or "What do you think I told the girls that I brought back home, I did this so they would know about you". And he never apologized for sleeping with them. He said we werent together so I have no right to be mad and to get over it.

I took him back.... He was so charming. He told me that he made the biggest mistake of his life and he loved me more than ever! He said he would never do anything to hurt me like that again. I believed him. He was so clever that he even got his family calling me telling me how miserable he was without me. Our friends told me not to do it. They said that the stuff he said to me and did when we wre broken up was horrible. At least make him work at it. But I fell. He was just like he was when we first met. I did want to go slow though but he told me "Nope, it is forever or nothing. Take me or leave me" I took him.

He soon convinced me to move in with him, buy a quad together, get a boat together, etc. But a few months after things were perfect they started going down hill again. He would say mean things to me. Manipulate me. Want to hang out with the boys more. And stuff like that. Work was also bad during this time (when work is not good he gets very stressed). His hours got cut in half. He kept trying to go to Alaska for fishing but I didnt support him. The morning we broke up we got in a fight about spending time together. He ended up leaving the house then texting me that it wasnt going to work anymore! I started to realize that the girl he made me into were the exact reasons that he broke up with me! He wanted a girl to go do everything with him like boating and quadding. He wanted a girl to get muddy then go put a dress on. He also wanted me dependent on him and told me that he wanted to "take care of me". These were the things that he used against me later. The day he broke up with me he said "we spend too much time together, you want to do everything with me, and you are too dependent on me. You need to go find your own life."

However, this time we actually lived together so we had some figuring out to do. He said that we can both live there, but in different rooms (we also live with another couple that are our good friends). He also said he wasnt going anywhere but if I wanted to I could move. He told me that he loved me and that we might be back together one day. And that he just needed a break and time and space (sound fimilar?). I told him that if I sat here waiting and he slept around again to never speak to me again. To my surprise I heard that he didnt hit on anyone (for awhile). But he started partying again and coming home late if he came home at all. He ended up getting fired for this a week later.

During the first two weeks we slept in the same bed. He kept saying that he would move it but never did. One night he woke me up at 3am telling me to just hold him and that he was sorry and missed me. The next day he moved the bed and said he never remembered doing that! He would also tell differently people different things. Some people he would say that we were just on a break. Some that we would never be together. And some that we still were together! I was so confused and he would not talk to me about it! He would just say "take it how you want it".

Then I started hearing lies about me again. He was telling people that I was crazy and physco. He told people that I would not leave him alone. Last time we broke up our friends got so involved and my ex was very mad at them so this time they want to stay out of it. But none of them will talk to me. They say they dont know what to believe and it needs to calm down. Its been a month! He randomly will text me things. Asking where something is or how to do something or if I can do him a favor, but I never text him. I feel like he is going out of his way to be a jerk. He will do things at the house or leave things out for me to see. He even hated Facebook and never wanted one. I didnt have one either but got one once we broke up. When he found out that I got one then so did he. He started posting pictures of him and other girls or him being drunk. He is so mean to me at the hosue when I see him. One Sunday night he came home at 5am and called me to come unlock the door, but he had his keys in his hand! He either did it so that I would see when he got home or just to be mean. He will be nice when he wants something but if I dont give it to him then he calls me a bitch and ignores me. I dont know what to do or think!

He took out our boat without me and did a lot of inapproprate things. He had too many people on the boat, took out girls that I hate, was too drunk to drive, had our one friend that is never allowed to drive the boat drive and our friend got a BUI. The boat is is my aunt's name so when she found out she took it back, which is understandable. He said the boat wasnt going anywhere unless he got money. he threatened to kill me and my family and went crazy. I gave him money (which why should I? The boat got taken from me too because of him!) But I didnt want to hear him yell. When I gave him the money I was crying and all of a sudden there was a new person in front of me. He chased my car down telling me how sorry he was and that he didnt want to fight and that he wanted to apologize but I just kept pushing him off of me. Later at the house he tried hugging me and talking about everything and trying to work it out. He said I am sorry but you know how I get! I just walked out and he looked like he would cry. I should have known that he would get back at me! The next day he took my money and bought a dirt bike and went around telling people how stupid I am for giving him money.

Last break up I knew that he would be back but this time he acts like I dont exist or is just being plain mean! He is doing things that he knows that I hate and putting it in front of my face. He even got on the house computer which I use and he doesnt yesterday and left his Facebook open. I know he wanted to me snoop because he NEVER using that computer but I didnt. I didnt want to see what he wanted me to. Now he says he is moving out next week and telling everyone it is because I wont leave him alone and I bitch all the time. He randomly text me last week out of nowhere "Stop being such a baby! I will never get back with you! Get over me and move on because I am sick of you!" I am not sure if this time he is discarding me for good or if he will be back. What do you think? I dont want him back, but need to be prepared if he tries. I am so confused and feel used.