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Talking Trash
betty2020
Member since:
2 years 4 days
2 years 4 days
Last activity:
1 year 14 weeks
1 year 14 weeks
Talking Trash
Posted May 21, 2010 - 10:59am
Im having a very difficult time right now. My exN is talking trash about me to people. They are all lies as usual but it really bothers me. All of the reasons i left him are what he is telling people i am. He is also attacking my sons character whos 16 y/o. I left him 3 months ago and have had virtually no contact with him. I want so bad to call him and rip him a new A$$ but i cant. There are legal reason that i can not discuss just yet. I just want to confront and unload on him and tell him everything to make him feel the fear he use to cause me. I cant though. I feel like a bomb is ready to blow in me. How do i calm this fury??? I just keep reading this msg board at this point.
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
You have to save everything
May 21, 2010 - 10:28pm — CarolynYou have to save everything he does in order to get him eventually. I was trashed so badly by my ex I never thought I would work again and it turned out the opposite. People got sick of the victimization. he worked for the same tv station and eventually got fired. There was no one more surprised than me when it went the other way. Be brave this will work out for you eventually I promise.
trash talk
May 21, 2010 - 7:58pm — not-an-idiotI believe that talking down to another gives them a sense of security, power, a hope someone will pay attention to how "victimized" he is and prestigue. I've been called everything you could imagine both to my face, behind my back and online in his livejournal. When I told him I was going to expose my side of the story via lj comments, he blocked me from the site. To explain I wasn't crazy, an idiot, a cunt (or any of the other evil things he called me) would have proven to his little girlies and admirers that he had his faults. That ran the risk of them turning on him negating the attention and flirty gestures that he can't live without. From my experience unloading promotes more anger from him and more pain on your part. Withdrawing is a 50/50 shot. Either you get accused that you're a terrible person of they actually fade away & get someone else to boost their ego for a while. It's a tragic rollercoaster ride being with an N. One I need to learn to get off of & go no contact.
Narcs and smear campaigns
May 21, 2010 - 6:25pm — Susan32My "relationship" with my ex-N began with a smear campaign... and ended with one. My ex-N told me he was writing a book;I bragged to my friends about it;he interrogated them, badmouthed me, then got angry at me. I've found out later that what he pulled was a classic con man trick-I had caught him in a lie. It was also "crazy-making" for no reason.
Later, when I confessed my true feelings for him 3 years later... he claimed that I was "hitting on him." He made himself look like a victim, but of course he was too much of a coward (and deep down, knew he would've been laughed out of the Dean's office for blatant falsehood) to claim that I was sexually harassing him. Since when did asking personal questions-such as why a person is vegetarian, or what their father does for a living, count as "hitting on someone"? Apparently, he had been complaining to students in his classes about me... but they happened to be on my side, especially after the D&D and the revelation of the OW.
Smear campaigns are what Narcs do. It's pure malice, pure and simple.
funny
May 21, 2010 - 2:41pm — betty2020strange how after this post the exN calls my phone after 3 months. Didnt answer. Is this a test? whatever it is he wants im sure it is not good. Never is and never was.
betty
May 21, 2010 - 3:17pm — quietude (not verified)RIGHT! Motives are never good, only to hurt you more, get something they want, etc...good for you to ignore.
Yes, they can pop up intermittently. Mine did after 6 months, again after 4 months...just ignored him.
betty..
May 21, 2010 - 11:35am — quietude (not verified)Yes, the abuse continues long after the fact. Here's the thing; people who know you and care about you will recognize he's full of sh**. The people who don't, you don't need in your life anyway. I'm always sceptical generally when someone is trash-talking someone else...especially since there is sometimes 3 sides to the story! And anyone bad-mouthing a teenager as well...that speaks volumes on it's own.
This is part of dumping toxicity from your life in general....when you find out who your real friends are. You can't control what he says, but you can control what you say, and what you do about it.
DO NOT REACT OR LASH OUT AT HIM. It will only fan the flames, especially if you have legal proceedings in process...
When it's all said and done, you can put him on all the exposure sites for people to see the REAL story, if they so wish.
Consider the source...he's a LOSER who needs to conduct a smear campaign in order to feel better about himself...yuck.