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small families...........
Member since:
42 years 21 weeks
42 years 21 weeks
Last activity:
42 years 21 weeks
42 years 21 weeks
small families...........
Posted May 8, 2010 - 9:16am
i have read several times that psychopaths prefer victims who have no family, or who are estranged from their family......
when i met the psychopath, my family consisted of my mother who was several states away...and my Narc brother who was across the country......
i have always believed it is one of the things about me he found most attractive....little or no support system...
how many here are from small families...or were estranged from their family at the time they met their Narc/Psycho...and how many believe their Narc/Psycho attempted to further estrange them from their family?
it really reminds me of predators who seek out the sheep standing away from the flock....or who carefully breaks their prey away from the herd........
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
My isolation fit right into his plan
May 17, 2010 - 10:16am — GhostBusterI've come to realize that my situation was perfect for his predatory plan. I'm an only child with both parents deceased. I have a couple of relatives nearby in a state I moved to after a divorce. I have a couple friends here and have work friends, but there was no one I'd say I'm extremely close to. My close friends are two states away. So, yes, I was pretty isolated when ex N found me and that was ideal for him. He could swoop in and become "my life." Or rather, control my life.
....standing alone.......
May 17, 2010 - 10:39am — narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)he liked that...that i was all alone.....i was an easy mark.....
“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
Estranging you from family
May 16, 2010 - 9:41pm — helldwellerYes! The N would do stuff like this:
On Christmas, we had plans to go to dinner at five o'clock at his friend's house. He has no real family and spends all his holidays with his friends. Well I have a huge family, including my 83 year old mother who is still alive, a brother who had just come home from the Middle East, and my two little daughters who all wanted to see their cousins, aunts and uncles, and see their grandma on Christmas. I asked the N if we could stop by my aunt's house--who was having our family dinner at 2pm--on the way to his friend's house. It was like five minutes away from the place. He said, "Honey, if you don't want to be with me, that's fine." He hung up and DID NOT TAKE US TO DINNER WITH HIM. He just blew us off and we were sitting at home, waiting. We WENT NOWHERE. Insane.
They're predators
May 9, 2010 - 11:51pm — Susan32My ex-N targeted me because I had a large circle of friends... and he was jealous. He tried to isolate me from them... but THANK GOD that did not work. They were there when he D&D'd me... Shows the pathological envy at the root of narcissism.
An interesting thought. I
May 8, 2010 - 12:03pm — janetcAn interesting thought. I had a good family and great support, lots of friends. My N did not want to socialize with them usually, and would make snide remarks. He felt threatened when I went out with them.
So, within 3 months of marriage, my N takes a job thousands of miles away, so I was cut off from all support. I didn't give it a thought at the time, but looking back on it, it seems pretty well planned! I would fly back to see them once a year in the summer with my children, and he always had an excuse not to go. I only could go usually if I worked overtime and could save up extra money or if my parents paid the bill. They would visit us as well, but would actually rent a home in a resort town nearby that I could go visit with my girls, and he would only come for the weekends.
If only I had known then what i do now!
I'm sure there's something
May 8, 2010 - 10:14am — sanctuaryI'm sure there's something to that. I had just gone through a divorce when I met ExN. I had three kids under age 9. I was learning how to be without the kids because I had basically been a stay at home mom.
My entire family was back East and I'm in AZ; so even though I'm very close to them, it's a long way. My first H had family here but of course contact was minimal after the divorce. I also went back to college. Between, work, kids, and school I didn't have a huge personal life.
So meeting someone and having some social life again was a big draw. I talked to my family a lot, he couldn't understand that when we first met. He said he barely talked to his. Now he acts like they are so important to him.
Additionally, his behavior really escalated after my father passed away. I didn't realize it then but he knew my father was the only threat to him. Once Dad was gone, ExN didn't have to hide so much.
Said this before, he was having an affair while I was home helping take care of my father. Then of course blamed it on me because I wasn't there for him!!! WTF?!!
estranging you from family
May 16, 2010 - 9:45pm — helldwellerFor three years he told me his only family was his two brothers. Then we were out at dinner one night and ran into EIGHT OF HIS FIRST COUSINS HAVING DINNER.
estranging you from family
May 16, 2010 - 9:45pm — helldwellerFor three years he told me his only family was his two brothers. Then we were out at dinner one night and ran into EIGHT OF HIS FIRST COUSINS HAVING DINNER.