Omg. I am losing it. I am desperate and was looking online for anything to help me with the feelings I am having and ran across this website. I am mortified, devastated, frustrated, crushed and so so sad. I can't believe it. Everything I have read on here describes what I am going through.
I don't understand. I don't understand how he can go on with his life after he has taken everything from mine, that he continues to exist as if nothing has happened, including being with me. I gave him everything, everything. I have no friends because he said they were not good enough for me, shut myself off from everything and he became my whole world and he made me think I was his until lately, now while he goes out and continues on, I am left in pieces, constantly looking a my phone, hoping to see him,the hope kills me, just kills me.
He says it is my fault and i don't listen? I don't even know what I did? So it was wrong to love him so wholly and unconditionally? I am mortified sitting here and thinking of what I have given him and gave up for him, while I realized after reading things here he gave up nothing.
The hardest part is thinking he might be with someone else intimately the way he was with me, that he is now ignoring me because he is with someone else? i cannot even wrap my mind around it. How can that be? How? It makes me physically ill to think of it. I thought this was it, the love of my life, my soul mate, starting my life and looking forward to the future and spending it with someone who understood me and now
I am suppose dto spend the next 2 to 3 years of my life trying to undo what he did to me? F*cking a. I don't know if I can do that.