3 weeks NC, anonymous phone call tonight - should I be worried?

3 weeks NC, anonymous phone call tonight - should I be worried?
Posted May 8, 2010 - 5:49pm
0

So, its been nearly 3 weeks of NC. On the whole I feel better, interrupted by the usual feelings of sadness and thinking about him which I have quickly put out of my mind as soon as I can.

Anyway, today I was flicking through facebook and saw an update from somebody that I work with commenting on his impending night away at a resort. I remembered that my exN had mentioned he was going on this night away many months ago.

I thought it best to remove the mutual friend from facebook to avoid seeing any pictures of my ex or seeing anything that will just upset me.

All day I've just had a funny feeling about things, can't quite put my finger on it.

I was supposed to be away myself tonight but I had to cancel at the last minute as I have a tight deadline to meet for some college work I am doing at the moment.

About an hour ago I had a call on my mobile from an 'unknown' number, I answered, I could hear music in the background and then the phone cut off. My immediate thought was it was my ex, despite the fact I have changed my phone number now I wondered if he had got hold of it in some way.

My other thought and I hate that it has even crossed my mind was that it was my friend who I supposed to be visiting tonight. He is my best friend but was a little annoyed that I cancelled on him last minute and I just thought maybe he was ringing to see if I was actually at home studying. I know that sounds crazy and I'm sure that he wouldnt do something like that knowing that I would be paranoid it was my ex BUT I guess I was just trying to think of all possibilities.

I am really concerned that my Ex has got hold of my number and was just testing the water. I now feel a bit confused and worried.

Anybody else had this happen after a little time of NC?

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The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Phone Calls

May 9, 2010 - 7:49pm — The Girlfriend ...

I know how jumpy you can feel after going NC, especially if your ex Psycho has ben abusive or showed signs of being violent. Weird how these guys can be SO sweet and charming one minute...and suddenly 'burst into flames' the next. Once you are NC and can start to see how REALLY disordered that they are...you might have some nightmares or feel afraid of them...

Yesterday I got over 50 phone calls...and I don't have to wonder...because the phone ID let me see it WAS my ex BF Psychopath. I am only 3 days NC...and he is VERY angry I am NC...he left some pretty weird v-mails...his voice practically sounds like a different person on each one(saved them for my counselor to hear)...when I did not pick up or return his calls...he woke me up calling about another 30 times for over an hour at almost 3am! Today he is VERY angry that all his sweet talkin, 'I promise to be nice again'...didn't get him what he wanted...Even though he is a liar and cheater, VERY abusive and violent...he never lets me go.

My thinking is that it probably wasn't your EX calling...if you changed your phone number. That's not to say he hasn't tried to call you...but just can't. If you have cause to be scared of him, do what I have done and be sure you speak to a counselor and law enforcement. And take the precautions by changing your locks and other safety measures.

And most especially...please remain NC, no matter what. No response or communication with him whatsoever. This time I am never going to look back. NC gives me some of my personal power back so I can heal. Even after 3 days, I am feeling better...scared of him....but better about myself!

seeingthelight's picture

Thanks girlf, you're

May 22, 2010 - 6:45pm — seeingthelight

Thanks girlf,

you're probably right and it wasn't him, although listened to my voicemails at home the other night and there loads from somebody in a bar or club who then hangs up, but who knows, I'll never know the answer!

Keep up the NC, I had a blip today in the sense that I was at work and he was there which hasn't happened for 5 weeks now. I blanked him and left the room, within 2 mins he had walked into my office for no good reason at all, I know it was all done for effect. I was so angry, I just looked at him and said, DO NOT COME IN HERE AGAIN. Some might say I shouldn't have said anything but after a year of not establishing any boundaries and letting him get away with murder I just felt like enough is enough, at least if I say it then work can't criticise me for encouraging him in anyway (something that is likely to happen in the male dominated environment I work in) Also I had a witness too! Something he hadn't banked on.

Its horrible isn't it, having these triggers, every time I hear footsteps towards my office my heart rate increases, I've had lots of dreams lately where I am shouting at him or he is seeing someone close to me etc.

All we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on trying.

I am glad you're feeling better. The fear remains of course but to feel better in yourself is empowering, stick with it!

x

Barbara's picture

don't freak out

May 8, 2010 - 8:08pm — Barbara (not verified)

sure but don't put too much stock in it - you're still triggering from him

if the calls continue - you'll need a new number

~~~~~~~~~
Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals

Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

seeingthelight's picture

Thanks Barbara

May 9, 2010 - 7:18pm — seeingthelight

I think you're right. Have calmed down now!