a question about Ns and female 'friends' - emotional cheating? lying? N supply?

firstly, my anti anxiety meds i just got this week seem to be helping beautifully, preventing me from having crying spells at work. yay!

but my question... anyone else's N have *lots* of "friends" who were women? mine would make coffee or lunch dates with them that would sometimes last all day. he would be very good at keeping those dates, and would tell me, "oh i have plans with heather, i have plans with katie." he would make it seem like it was imperative to see these people, and would never answer my phone calls if i interrupted their "date". he used to say that he just "didn't like talking on the phone" or that it was "rude to answer the phone when entertaining his friends." (they hypocrisy that lay in all of this is that he had no problem answering the phone when he was with me, and during our long distance courtship, he had no phone phobia as well talked on the phone for hours every night...he would also without a care break plans with me, blow me off, ignore me when we had made plans, and use all kinds of selfish excuses for it...ultimately insisting in accept the fact that he is a "flake" (c'mon, you KNOW i'm a flake). i just wish i had felt half as important as "his" other girls. i don't think he was having sex with them, because he would tell me they had boyfriends of their own or they simply had a very "deep connection". but i was rarely invited to meet these women...or participate in their day-long gathering. plus, him and i hardly had a day off work together, and he was more likely to make a date with a female "friend" rather than ask me what i was doing. *sigh* this is hard for me. it just made me feel like, "what do they have that i don't?" i would try to call him and he would text me back during a date with a female friend, simply stating, "i can't talk, i am having fun. call you later." 8 hours later. late enough so i could see him for a booty call. eff that. more than anything i think he really got a kick out of having really sicky sweet women listen to him and validate how marvelous he is...how unique, adventurous, intelligent, funny, caring, community oriented. his status among people is his top priority. why did i feel so much like a stupid little woman, in love with this little boy, waiting for him to demonstrate that he cared. anyone connect to this? anyone???