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what if the new supply is less....

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#1 Apr 29 - 11AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

what if the new supply is less....

Hi maybe someone can tell me if the new supply isn't as the same level as the old supply (me)....Ex N is a cerebral narcissist,very difficult to please intellectually and he was very keen about my intellect,i speak 7 languges,i am good with pc's ewe could talk at the same level about politics,religion,art,movies etc i am a good cook,and my looks are ok...i live in Europe ,he was always bragging about that to his co workers,he works as a maintenance in the Housing Authority (the projects ) in Tulsa....he was very proud about having a girlfriend abroad...i went to be with him we had sex twice he has ED i think due to masturbation and porn viewing ,i suspect him of being bisexual,not that he would do it with a man,but porn viewing wise....what if he don't find satis factory supply at my level,would be a possibility that he would try to contact me again?Sexually speaking i know he loves masturbation and porn more than real contact...also sex chat,he did with me too ,but he told me he don't need anybody,he could get off on anything,even a hole on the wall...but i know he needs to chat at a certain level on the internet....that is why my question,,,if he doesn't find someone with my qualities would he maybe try to contact me again?we were on a long distance relationship for 2 years ,he called me everyday,incluiding weekends,never missed one day....i am still in shock with what went on...

Apr 29 - 11AM
better off
better off's picture

Ummm, sounds like HE isn't

Ummm, sounds like HE isn't on the same level as YOU. He's a maintenance man for the projects?? And you with all your accomplishments are worried about how good his new supply is? Granted, it's very confusing when you are in constant contact and then they drop you. The thing is, with a long distance relationship, you are assuming he was in a relationship with only you and didn't always have other supply. I had a similar experience, and I remember thinking "how could he cut me out of his life like that?" But I began to realize I was never really IN his life. Hence the online/long distance. It's not real. Sure feels real, but it's not. You only know what he tells you, and none of it can be trusted. It's upsetting when they move to someone else, from what I can tell, the new one I know the most about is "below" me in many ways, she was definitely not on the intellectual level that I shared with him and seemed to be important to him also. But it's not. It may have been what he liked about ME in terms of supply, but he just likes supply. He'll like whatever it is any supply can give him. And again, I'm not even sure it was NEW supply, it may have been going on all along. I've seen him hit up people that were the complete opposite of me, when I was supposedly "the most perfect girl in the world." I was also a woman "with the best personality of anyone he's ever met" and "the most beautiful woman he's ever been with." And then he'll head for the gutter, or a new age witch, or a Hollywood film producer, or some dumb pizza clerk with tattoos on her feet, or a homely accountant. It doesn't matter. His wife was a senior VP with a Fortune 50 company and a sophisticated world traveler. I'm sure she would have found me beneath her. To them, we're all the same. Interchangeable. Our chemistry felt strong, but he was mirroring me quite a bit. looking back I see that he TRIES with everyone. I just happened to take the bait.
Apr 29 - 11PM (Reply to #8)
neveragain5
neveragain5's picture

Well put, better off! You

Well put, better off! You hit the nail on the head!
Apr 29 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

thanks better off....

Thanks better off... when he approached me on a divx movie site,he was still living with the mother of his children,7 months later he had to leave there because somethinh=g happenned with his 15 year old daughter,and i am sure he didn't had nobody else then,i am ashamed to say that we talked on skype even when he was working ,he would ask me to wake him up in the morning ,then he would go to work and he wanted me to be with him on his cell,then after work he would go sit in a park to talk to me,he was always talking with me....he doesn't have any friends,he don't go out,he is always working,on the pc gaming and now probably chatting trying to get a substitute for me....he is a very troubled man ,suffered from depressions and women really hit on him but he entices them with conversation and when they hit he says he isn't interested ...he has really issues with attachment and real contact....he has very little money and has to pay child support for 3,so he isn't really a goed catch...he is overweight ,but i did love him and wanted really to help him,i stayed there with him for 2 months i was supposed to stay 3 but i couldn't bare the push and pull,withdrwing affection and then when i say i was going back to Europe he would ask me not to,and was sweet for 3 days or so and then everything would start again....he never asked me for money ,i am very confused still wondring what a hell happenned....thanks for letting me vent....

Aceonelady

Apr 29 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
sanctuary
sanctuary's picture

"...looking back I see that

"...looking back I see that he TRIES with everyone. I just happened to take the bait." Makes a lot of sense. They just throw everything up there and sees what sticks. The ExN remarried a women worse than he is, but makes a lot of money. They deserve each other. When the shit hits the fan, and it will eventually, I'm going to have a party! aceone...you have so much going for you. I was in a long distance internet relationship and it's true it's just not real. Take care of yourself and try to forget what he's doing one way or the other.
Apr 29 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

aceonelady

WHO CARES???? these predators morph themselves into something NEW for each & every victim they target. She's not even getting the same guy you had... she's getting a whole new version, tailored just for her - to extract the maximum supply for him... and she can have him ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
Apr 29 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

When I met exN he was into

When I met exN he was into macrobiotic food and a vegetarian. I cooked macro and vegetarian for 7 years. He would preach about the food scandal and what cheap food was doing to the environment. He used to be a member of greenpeace (so he said) Two weeks ago he took the kids his gf and her 2 year old to MacDonalds and had a big mac.

Ending the dance

Apr 29 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

thanks Barbara....

I am having a very bad day,thanks foor helping me and others to face reality...you are totally right,your words make me feel stronger already,i will print them and read everyday....hughs

Aceonelady

Apr 29 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Sounds like my Narc- said he

Sounds like my Narc- said he always had intimacy issues... had porn addiction too and wouldnt have intercourse. I thought him to be bisexual too he often would make comments about watching gay porn. Barbara is right they morph into a new person for each new woman... I had forgotten about that ..mine morphed into the man I wanted him to be when he came back the 2nd time. Mine liked to have relationships long distance too... and online flings..all long distance. My advice to you is to heal from this and find someone who is more on your level..where you are treated like an equal. You are way better than that Narc! Look at all you have accomplished and how intelligent you are.. you really deserve the best. there is a saying that goes something like... birds of a feather flock together if you are an eagle stop hanging around pigeons. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”