Boy,am I still in shock. Need someone to validate if this is
narcissism.

I met this "wonderful" man about a year ago. He seemed to be everything I ever wanted in a man. He was like my true soulmate.He anticipated my every need. My friends and family loved him.

His friends and family all went on and on about how he was the nice one and did everything for everybody. That is his reputation. He has had the same group of friends since highschool.

It was a long distance relationship, we saw each other often, and he treated me like gold.

One little problem is he drank too much. Not all the time, but enough for me to notice. And when we were alone and he was really drunk, he would say how much he hated people. Around others, he was a "happy" drunk.

He was part of a big family and I was introduced to them all and included in family activities. We got engaged. I was so happy.

He had a definite pattern of communication he trained me to...emailed every morning, called in the afternoon twice , and talked to me before bed. This was everyday for months.

Late January I called him on some passive aggressive behavior
and he pulled back massively. The pattern of communication he trained me too did a 180. I'd now hear from him once a day
via phone, maybe twice.

I was supposed to move up with him in March and we were to get married in April. I kept asking him if he wanted to slow it down or put it off because he was exhibiting passive aggressive behavior.He started a business which I helped launch and it is doing well.

The big trouble started when he was supposed to deposit a check from an IRA account into mine, but there just kept being delays about it, so I put the deposit down on our apartment. Now this was after 9 months of telling me he had the IRA and I made budgets before agreeing to move up there that included the IRA and how much we needed a month, etc until the business was in positive cash flow.
You know, planning to set up "housekeeping."

Right before I was to move, he came down and said he forgot the check...this is after weeks of b.s. with this check.
I just lost it. He said he was going to prove to me he had the check and he didn't want to lose me, loved me, couldn't wait to make me his wife. Looked me right in the eyes and lied.

The very next day I got an email saying he just couldn't do it. Then a phone call that I demanded. Never face to face.
So after much asking, I will be taking him to court for my money back from the deposit.He's got it, he just doesn't want me to have it...it's like torture. I have not texted or drunk dialed or sent tons of emails. Most of the emails have been business related and when he would not respond, I sent a certified letter.

He will not communicate with me at all. It's like I just don't exist. ERASED.

He was 38 and never married, I am 44 and never married. He erased me now that his business is thriving. He's out partying and living it up.

I am barely functioning. I loved this man and thought he loved me. I still think of the future we planned together. I never wanted to get married before in my life until I met this man. It's like when our relationship started to move into reality and I noticed inconsistencies...that's when he started gaslighting me about not having said something or being very passive aggressive and avoiding taking care of things. Like, uh-oh fantasyland is over...see yah!

I just don't get it? He helps his family do everything...watches kids, etc. It's like his mask is the good guy, but I saw the scary part on occasion(the "I hate people" stuff).

Also, this man has been successful in the past. And is now living at home(yes with his parents...so does his other brother). He was beaten as a child.He used to throw himself on top of his little brothers so his Dad beat him instead when he was in a drunken rage(nice.) Wealthy family of alcoholics that go to church every Sunday. He also refuses to get his driver's license back (my guess is he skipped out on some DUI charges.)

He was the best lover I ever had and I loved this man. I miss this man. But he lied BIG TIME to me and put me in a very bad situation 7 days before I was moving...talk about scrambling.

How do I get past this? I have never felt so awful and like nothing in my whole life. I cry every day. I've lost 30 lbs in a month(that's the only good thing out of this whole thing). All I wanna do is sleep...that won't pay the bills!

Anyway, thanks for letting me share. Not looking forward to court.

Am I crazy? Does this guy sound like a narcissist? I feel like the biggest piece of sh*t. Like if I hadn't called him on the b.s. he would still be with me.

God help me!