Does the narcissist just simply forget us?

Sure they can forget us, they forget us when they are working a new victim, and then we will pop up in their minds when they want more supply from us to give them power and control

Or does he hate us with his whole being?
They dont love or hate, they rage when they lose control of their victims, their hate isnt directed at us but more frustration on their part how to get us back in their game

Does he fear us (for example, in case we expose him, or even just because we know what he is – a predator)?

Read what Psyco boy did when Barbara exposed him.

Does he feel sorry (albeit self-pity) that he’s lost such a fabulous source of supply?

They always have other sources of supply to feed their addiction. If you were good supply to him he wont forget that he will try to tap into it to see if he can get more

Does he ever think about us?

Not like we think about them, they can erase us from their minds for weeks, months because they never had ANY emotional attachment to us. He might think of us when he needs more supply our name might pop into their heads, like, hey wonder what she is doing, I should call her maybe she can give me a little injection of what I am running low on

Its sick isnt it? As our lives our shattered they could care less, they will just come back to shatter our lives a little more

I've been taking a psychology class in child development and I just learned about static reasoning. It's an egocentric way of thinking discovered by Piaget where children between ages 2-6 believe that the world remains just as they had left it.

With NC, the narcissist thinks of you like a toy on a shelf (I think I read that on this site somewhere) or like a TIVO recording. You are unchanged, you don't exist on your own.

I think NC only affects them if they want something from you at that moment and you are not reacting. Then, they might just find amusement in the challenge of trying to induce some kind of reaction, or they may become frustrated at the moment, but eventually move on.

They are emotionally underdeveloped predators who do not value intimacy and could never comprehend the complexity of the emotional pain we go through. They don't feel connected to people. They only see people as objects to be used at the moment. Nothing else.

Writing this stuff by the way, is so healing for me. Writing it and reading the boards keeps this fresh so I don't go back to thinking about how wonderful it all was before his mask came off. It's really taking time, but I get it and I'm so proud of myself and of all the ladies here for having the chutzpah to get out of that mess and move forward.

I'm addicted to the show Mad Men btw. Don Draper is a perfect example I think, of a narcissist (I think it's a misconception to think of him as a sociopath.) He's got a great line in Season 2 - -

"Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened."

Unfortunately for us normals, we can't just erase the past from our heads. It does affect us. It happened and we are shocked by those who can so easily move forward and detach from us.

What we can do though is "get out of here and move forward." I hope that when I reflect on all this, what I will be shocked by is the strength I had to break the cycle and truly move forward, empowered and unstoppable.

______________

Oh another great Draper line: -(just some context, Peggy just tells Don that sex sells)

"You are the product. You feeling something. That's what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can't do what we do and they hate us for it."

My interpretation, emotion as a commodity to the narc. You have to be able to detach yourself from that emotion in order to recognize it's manipulative potential though and well, not everyone can do that. . .

the psychonarc said that too!!...he admitted to faking happiness...he let that slip in a rage once...he was raging at me about how he never loved me...trying to twist the knife...and he let it slip...'i've never was happy..with you or anyone else..i've alaways pretended to be..just to get along'....of course he said this in an ACCUSING tone..but yeah...he let some truth leak out..
i already knew the miserable bastard had never had a moment of real happiness...and he let it slip that i was right...

i just can't understand the mind of this person. i was the love of his life and when i asked him to leave because i discover at least 4 other women in his life (even tho he was living with me) he scattered like a cochroach. I still miss the life he lead ne to believe and wonder if i can ever move on

some Narcs LOVE the idea of no contact...i didn't have to go no contact...the psychonarc went no contact...because i am living proof of what he really is....hard to start a completely new persona and life as a WIDOWER..when the departed might come waltzing in the door at any moment and blow your con out of the water...which is EXACTLY what happened in his case.......

and yes...once they are without supply...if they think they can get ANYTHING at all from a former victim...they will have no problem recycling and making contact..

...everything I read is true. They don’t feel. We are just objects to them. Etc. Etc. But it is so hard for my brain to actually accept this as the truth. It’s not sinking in, even though I want it to. What do I do?
I can remember having a sort of breakdown in front of my NH, pleading, “But what do you feel?“ (I was referring to the end of our marriage.) He said, “Well, I’m a bit relieved.“
I’m just a bit of a mess right now. I read Cynthia’s message on the Gift he Presents post and I can’t stop crying. I haven’t cried for months. An hour ago I was walking out of gym with a sparkle in my eye – so happy it’s Friday – and now I’ve dissolved in a puddle of tears.

Does the narcissist just simply forget us? whats to forget - do you forget toilet paper or a chair

Or does he hate us with his whole being?
He feels NOTHING. N O T H I N G

Does he fear us (for example, in case we expose him, or even just because we know what he is – a predator)?
Sometimes but mostly he just thinks about how to get the next sucker going

Does he feel sorry (albeit self-pity) that he’s lost such a fabulous source of supply?
You're kidding right? They can't feel - and they don't care

Does he ever think about us?
NOPE. ONLY if he thinks he can bleed you for something. Otherwise - NOPE!

If so, in which circumstances do you think this is likely, besides the obvious one where he has totally run dry of supply sources.
Does he ever ‘dip’ and look for info?
Only to use to protect himself or try to reel you back in for more supply

Is he afraid to consider that we really are strong enough to remain no contact?
He could care less - we are NOT people to them- we are OBJECTS

Does the fact that we go no contact speak volumes to him?
Nope. Nothing. NADA.

And and and…???
AND.... stay away from these NON HUMAN, SOUL SUCKING pieces of utter moose dung!!!

~~~~~~~~~
The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein

Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

As hurtful as it was at the time, it was a harsh wake up call.

A wake up call that I did the right thing in leaving a toxic individual. I'm in the acceptance phase right now. Still in the "I can't believe I made such a bad choice" frame of mind. But, I got away before he could inflict anymore damage. I survived!!! Thanks for your support.

When I left...we had our "exit" interview a few days later. N actually said, "I don't care...I never did."

I think of that day and wonder how I was so infatuated. I was looking at the real person that night. It was a different person...cold, indifferent, cunning. I saw brief glimpses of it when we were together...but never expected how evil it actually was. It scared me so much, I wound up getting pneumonia right after.

When someone says they don't care about you, what's there to love? Nothing.