The lyrics to the Incubus Song "Drive" is exactly wear I'm at (I think.) I think I'm starting to move out of the angry phase. It's still there, but it changes. It sways. I still think about him every day, but it's different now. Every morning is another chance. I'm free. I'm embracing that. He left me, crushed, heartbroken, a complete mess.

Although I wasn't married to my narcissist, I imagine that I wanted a divorce from him and finally got one after years of abuse (which is the road I would have gone down if we had stayed together) And when I catch myself obsessing about him, I stop myself and repeat over and over again, "I'm free."

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there