My xN/P is a cerebral (intellectual) narcissist. And he is NOT good looking or well built at all. If you passed him on the street, you would not look twice at him. I never had solid proof that he ever cheated on me. Personally, I think that he much prefers taking care of his own needs (if you get my drift) than having sex with any woman (or man, which has also crossed my mind). However, I remember receiving a few texts over the years that seemed very out of place, as if they were not intended to me but were sent to me by mistake. He told me twice that he had to cut back on texting me because he had missent texts. The implication was always that he missent to someone else texts that were meant for me. But my gut feeling was that he had been texting someone else and then missent to me. So....no solid proof. He's a big self-satisfier. Huge on porn. Not at all good looking. But I truly suspect he had cheated, if not the whole time, then and again. The times he broke up with me were most likely times he had found another source of supply. But they must not have panned out because he always came back to me.

The girl tweeted about the amazing time she had skiing at Alpine and going to a Kimock concert until 4:00 in the morning. The girl was in his MBA class - he had said he went with a bunch of guys. When I confronted him he said he had no reason to feel guilty, that he didn't tell me because I would freak out...if I would quit "snooping" it would all be fine. It was on twitter! It continued for 6 more months more openly all the time. until I finally left.

Peace. J

the first little clue came early on....not too long after we were married.....one day i come in and there is a message on the answering machine for the psychonarc....from a man...an obviously gay man..asking him to dinner and a show....uh huh...soooo...he comes in...and well, inquiring minds want to know.....so i inquired...OMG...first he attacked me for listening to the answering machine.....'how DARE you invade my privacy by listening to MY answering machine!'......'yo..we're married..it's OUR answering machine'... guess he'd forgotten..on to plan B....'you crazy bitch..that's just my mother's hairdresser..trying to be FRIENDLY'....uh huh...some day i'll post about how the bastard couldn't walk past a public restroom without running in to take a look.........

The first time was about 2 weeks after we were married when I found a piece of paper in the clothes dryer with a woman's name and email addy on it.
Found evidence of secret email account a few weeks later. Then hang- up calls late at night. More secret email and IM accounts over the first year we were together. I put a keylogger on his computer, and the sh** really hit the fan. He had a virtual harem. I asked him to leave,he promised to stop, get into therapy, blah,blah,blah. All he really ever did was cover his tracks better. This kind of stuff went on for the entire 8 years that we were together. By the end I had reached the point of no longer caring. I stopped checking and I stopped reacting to it. I think that the loss of that supply from me is what told him it was time to D&D me and find a new victim.

Better you found out about all his crap. I am glad she was proacive and contacted you so you could SEE the truth. To think that how they string you along, and keep it hidden, they will and can do it for years.

My ex N,,exposed him after 3 and a half years. I never would have thought in a million years that he would have done this to me.

He was living with/dating another woman with 4 kids the entire time we were dating, and lied for the entire time.

I don't understand compulsive lying, I got the guts and figured it out one day when he did not txt me back for 10 hours. I drove to his house to see WTF was going on.,,,no more than 4 minutes he come careening up the drive with another woman in the car.

I opened the driver door on them right when he drove up (he tried to put the car in reverse when he saw me) however I reached over, opened up the car door, looked right at the OW and told her I was dating this guys religously for over 3 years, this is my name, this is my phone number, got into some facts, she looks at him, asks were you with her,,he said yes,,then she told me she wanted me to drive her home.

She got in my car, we went to her house, we talked for about 3 hours, she showed me all the family photos, her ring, his promises,,,blah blah blah.

Shocked, completely.,,,,,,especially if you knew all the work and sacrafices I put into the relationship.

Well he brainwashed her, it is beyond repair.

I am completely shocked at their bullshit. When I look back, I should have seen it all along.

Same as you i caught him up in lies-called my now ex friend/s he didn't even know-nor they him and whacked his limp d..k on their answering machines=even my married sister said he called breathing heavy in her phone and playing music!!!!! I caught him on several dating sites using phony profiles-ages/states/profession/s etc...looking for 20-30 year olds and he is almost 67 with second pacemaker,diabetes,neuropathy,high blood/cholesteral and ED .....has more fun jacking-obviously used my body as an object-evenh though he made it appear he was trying to satisfy me.