Hi,
I wanted to share part of an email I got from my ex narc. It would be the last one as I blocked him after this one. I'm sharing it because it tells of his and I'm sure all like him, way of thinking, which is full of manipulation.
I had written him, as I was trying to recover, and told him I was going out that night. He had changed by this time (or rather, become more like himself) and I was deeply hurt. I was simply trying to keep my head above water and told him I was going to a bonfire with a group I was in. Not long before this he was telling me he wanted to spend his life with me, that I was the greatest thing to ever come into his life, and all the other crap that goes with their honeymoon phase. This is how he responded to me. His words are in quotes:

"Sounds like the guys at the bonfire are in for a treat."

"I imagine you changing position and recrossing your legs, swinging them in a planned pattern to offer a quick view to the chosen one or ones across from you. I think that you aren't looking right at them but are observing out of the corner of eye. Several of them notice but you pretend not to see. A little later you casually get up to adjust move the chair a little nearer the fire but then have to squat behind it to adjust the legs, allowing your skirt to drop away as you lower yourself. It gives another, just a little longer view. You are gauging the reaction again, smiling at yourself as you realize what an impact you are having on several of the cuties. - Ah, the executive assistant stockings. ---"
I didn't make it out that night. The email made me sick. It hurt. Many months have passed now. I don't much miss the love I thought I had like I use to. I am still struggling with many invasive thoughts and feelings though. Depression has been triggered, fibromyalgia is worse and it is just plain hard recovering. Still it feels like it is getting easier with time.
Who knows what he really wanted to accomplish with the message. To let me know he didn't care about me. To treat me like a whore? He ended the same message with this:

"I have been thinking about you and our calls and emails. I am so relieved that your anger has lessened." (NOTE: MY ANGER HAD NOT LESSENED!) "Concurrently, I am concerned that you will let down your guard and allow my dysfunction to hurt you again. I really wonder if we should get together at all? I wonder if we could have a sexual relationship where I pay you for your services and if you would be able to compartmentalize it away from your other feelings?"

"Perhaps we can try it, evaluate it, and decide if we are each equipped to continue."
The jerk tried to get me to do lots of things. Model nude, let him videotape me or us, I was never sure b/c I just told him no, and prostitute myself.
As you can see he made it look as though his request was to a prostitute! I have never been one and he knows that. He knew how it had hurt me for him to have asked me to model nude (describing to me other women who had modeled nude for him)-- so he took it a step further!

And, "allowing his dysfunction to hurt me."
Gross right?! He continued to say he would not hurt a flea, but his dysfunction on the other hand had hurt many people. He said he was sorry that I ended up being a casualty of his dysfunction.
Thanks for the place and space to share.
c-g