what happens to the kids ?

what happens to the kids ?
Posted March 1, 2010 - 2:07pm
0

So I wanted to ask a question here .. for those of us who have children with these monsters what happens if something were to happen to us ? Is there anyway to keep the kids from living with their fathers? And not only living with their fathers but their fathers receiving a check for the children(we all know the check wouldn't go towards the children) so basically if that happened they would again be living on us even after we were gone !

‹ 2 weeks, NC, but I feel like telling him off 3 weeks NC, anonymous phone call tonight - should I be worried? ›
TexN's picture

Hi Sparky

March 2, 2010 - 3:53pm — TexN (not verified)

Is your ExN involved with your children or is he a deadbeat, only plays the role of "great father" when he wants to impress? How old are the kids? Mine are 14, 12, & my daughter with the narc is 6. He's only seen her once (for 3 hrs) in the past seven mths. I'm happy he's not an active parent in her life but it hurts me to see how much she misses him.

Barbara's picture

sparky

March 1, 2010 - 3:46pm — Barbara (not verified)

suing for custody
and getting as far away from the Narc as possible, legally

~~~~~~~~~
The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein

Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

sparky2009's picture

but is there anything to do

March 1, 2010 - 4:10pm — sparky2009

but is there anything to do as far as wills go to keep him from getting the children if anything happens? Or do they automatically go to him if he is on birth certificate?

AnotherPath's picture

unfortunately there is

March 1, 2010 - 7:09pm — AnotherPath

unfortunately there is nothing you can do as far as him having the children as he is the biological parent, So he would have them. Write a will that all your assets go to the children when they are old enough and put one of your relatives as a guardian for the money that they will receive until they are 18 or 21, so the guardian would be in charge of the finances.

ice queen's picture

Be careful in willing all

May 22, 2010 - 4:23pm — ice queen

Be careful in willing all your assets to your children as he could then get access to them as he would be the parent/legal guardian. A court would not know the history and could easily make a decision (even unknowingly) that could be detrimental in that regard. I changed all my beneficiaries to one identified individual (non-relative), who would set up a trust account for my son (whom that person would administer), if anything were to happen to me. That way, his father is not involved in any of it and would, in no way, have access to any of it. I would encourage you to contact an attorney (in your state) to discuss probate options....Also - if you pick a relative, pick someone that will have absolutely no problem dealing with their father...regardless how critical, unrelentless, manipulative, etc. they can get. Ice Queen

Klarity Belle's picture

Back stop beneficiaries

May 22, 2010 - 7:29pm — Klarity Belle

I remember just about flipping out when i first learned that if anything happened to me and my kids that the N would go on to inherit my estate. I have back stop beneficiaries in place just in case this unfortunate event occurs. I have also set up a trust similar to that outlined by Ice Queen - the family member chosen to administer it is fully aware of N's behaviours too.

Our's and our children's worst nightmare is if anything happens to us - the healthy nonPD parent. Of course unfortunate things can and do happen and we need to legally do all we can to protect our children for any eventuality. There is so much added responsibility heaped on us because we have the misfortune of having had children with pathologicals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4