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bemybest's story

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#1 Feb 21 - 1PM
bemybest
bemybest's picture

bemybest's story

Its been since Dec 30th since I've seen him..we talk now and then or text because he owes me 40K for a joint real estate investment.and I have his garage full of my business inventory...which I am not moving til I have my money. He is selling his cobra to pay me back...I am on the deed as a third owner...

He apparently though now is absolutely determined to see me...I have set my boundary in not seeing him period..but this weekend seems to be his breakdown...I have been with him for 4.5 years...the first year and half were wonderful...but of course now I see some red flags I ignored. Then he dumped me on NY Eve of 08. After a few days he came roaring back. I didn't understand narcissism then. We've gone back and forth..him always fading away...then roaring back. Its been a humiliating and shameful feeling for me. We bought this house...I was going to move in...but things didn't feel right to me. This last Aug. he gave me a beautiful engagement ring...but I didn't accept it, I needed to see consistency. Of course, this last NYE he did it again. Since then, I've not seen him...he's on the internet and dating.

Yesterday, he seemed to be having a meltdown...texted me to come over for dinner....next text, can't bear not seeing or being with me, loves me, crying his eyes out. Said he was driving up, HAD to see me. I texted back NO, DO NOT COME...he texted again..he was close at a club, would I meet him for a drink? I locked my doors, took in my hidden spare key, and turned off the lights. This morning, he has called and texted 3 times...begging. One text was weird, he's alternating between his work and personal cell for some reason, and it feels like he is two people by the tone of the message based on which phone he calls from. I know weird...he has said many times he feels like two people. About 15 minutes ago, he left message, begging me to meet him halfway..we are an hour apart. I have ignored all messages...but I am nervous. He seems desperate....and of course, I am concerned about handling this delicately cos of the money issue.

I am going to get out of here for awhile...

Thanks for listening everyone!

Feb 21 - 3PM
ForeverLearning
ForeverLearning's picture

Contact An Attorney And Law Enforcement

He's only being nice right now because he's desperate to get you back. Two strategies here - 1) Ask to go get your stuff from his garage, show up with a moving truck and several friends in tow (don't go alone) and get your stuff if you can do so safely (you know better than I if he has violent tendencies towards you) or 2) Get an attorney to file legal actions to have law enforcement get your stuff off his property and returned to you. Were the value of the inventory low enough to file in small claims court (used to be under $5,000, now may be under $10,000) its a simple process in small claims court but the dollar value of your stuff probably exceeds the limits of small claims hence the need for an attorney to file in a different court. Good luck to you and read all you can around here. It will help you more than you know right now. Either way you have to get untangled from this nutball, you have described that he is unstable, has been for a long time, you put 4.5 years into this roller coaster, all along your gut telling you it just wasnt going to work, time to get off the crazy train and move on to find a new captain and ride a love boat of smooth sailing..... sorry so corny. Humor helps too with these gutwrenching messes. God bless!
Feb 21 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

welcome bemybest

get into therapy with a TRAUMA COUNSELOR IMMEDIATELY! ForeverLearning was right - get an attorney on board to deal with getting your things & your money back. Don't allow him to use these things to hoover you & keep you sucked in. No way! - PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - PLEASE read the stories of others on SHARE YOUR STORY. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do! Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. It will also help you see the pattern of their INCURABLE PATHOLOGY. - PLEASE read through our WHOLE blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing Please read all the Rules prior to posting, as well - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's left you with!! Get to a PTSD/ trauma counselor ASAP... Healing takes a MINIMUM of 18 months (with TOTAL NC) and you will need support & help from a professional. Please get it ASAP. Do not date before 18 months has passed! KEEP THIS SOUL SUCKING, NON HUMAN PREDATOR OUT OF YOUR LIFE. ~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims