I think I need a new therapist. I didn't like what he said at my last session with him. Real blame the victim mentality. I could see his point, but after learning what I have learned about narcs and abuse, his analogy of the walking alone in a dark alley, just hurt me more than helped . . .

I know I have been manipulated by a narc/psycho (and other narc's and abusers in the past) and maybe I could have been less trusting, but at some point, isn't it okay to believe the guy you're dating? I see my friends in happy relationships that started out with the same intensity as my relationship did and it was ok for them.

I asked my therapist if he thought it was ok and he told me it is fine to get swept up in romance, but to stick to my boundaries. . . Boundaries and romance seem a bit incongruous, so I guess I'm confused. If you're attracted to each other, and you've been on four five dates and the tension is building eventually, things will get physical.

At some point, you do get intimate, which is what the narc wants. How long do you wait you know? Is there a two month rule, three months? A lot of the women on this site talk about how they knew their narc sometimes for years! Friends first, through work or band or neighbors. How could they have known?

Anyway, point is, the therapist made me feel like I've just been naive and that I have learned a valuable lesson in dating and that I should move on and make better choices. When I told him I didn't want to end up with a laundry list of guys I've had sex with, he actually said "Well baby, that's what dating is in this society."

REally? SOOO Helpful! GEee I couldn't figure that one out myself? Really had to pay you $75 bucks out of my unemployment check to learn that. . .

About fb blocking . . . That would mean I would have to look at his haughty fb picture again and I've been so good for two weeks. Also, if I block him now, if he has been checking my profile, he will see that I have blocked him right? I don't want him thinking at all that I have been thinking at all about him since my last contact which was just before New Year's.

I like the thought of making up stories about him. And it's true, he can't keep up the mask for long. If she is like me, just a good girl he picked out to suit his needs, I hope for her sake she has the courage to run. Even after just two weeks of dating him, he started saying hurtful, impulsive, weird things that would come out of nowhere and apologizing immediately afterward.

He's a real freak. He's extremely good looking now, top of his law school class, got a great job, but most of his life he had a terrible skin condition that looked like the Phantom of the Opera mask on half of his face. He was brutalized as a child and couldn't get a date until he started looking good five years ago. He said it faded, but I looked up the condition and I think he lied about that too. He must have had some laser surgery done!

Also, when I did look up the skin condition (after the breakup) it said online that it has been known to cause severe psychological and emotional development problems. No wonder he had to make it clear to me, unprovoked mind you, that he is "normal." Actually said that. . . Lol! And I remember thinking at the time . . . hmmm you know, when someone has to SAY he is normal . . . 99.9% of the time . . .

It is a sad story for him, but it's no excuse for his behavior and I think he would have been a narc anyway because his family is so screwed up. He told me he had a crazy uncle who did "bad things," he's got a crazy overbearing mom who sounded like an N, emotionally detached dad. Rich family always got what he wanted, never really had to worry about money or about taking care of himself. Silver spoon brat. His mom still picks out his clothes. . . I really didn't need that in my life . . . eeewwwww