I was in a committed relationship with a man for 5 1/2 years. I believed him to be genuine, sincere, honest and real. The first 3 years were beyond wonderful. He was attentive, affectionate, adventurous, playful, endearing and just plain wonderful.

After 3 years, he applied for a job in a foreign country in the Middle East. He applied for this job without telling me. I did not know about this job, until it was offered to him.

He assumed I would go with him and when I told him I would not, he went anyway. He said it was a great opportunity for him and it would be the LAST job! It was to be for 1 year, and when he came back, we would finally retire and travel the USA in the motorhome I had purchased.

The first year was ok. We talked on the phone and sent lots of emails. He was still very attentive and affectionate. I went to visit him about 2 months after he had arrived in this new place.

There was nothing for me to do. He worked about 12 hours a day, and there was no TV, no internet, no nothing. No museums, no libraries, nothing but shopping. I had no money and did not want to shop. He spent his 2 days off with me, and that was all. I was there for 2 weeks and it was terrible.

He promised he would come home for good at the end of 2008. He did not. He decided that since the economy in the US was so bad that it would be better to stay another year. I was against this, but he stayed anyway.

Just after the beginning of 2009, everything changed. He was no longer affectionate or attentive. Quite the opposite. I wrote and asked why, and the only answer I ever received was: "I have no time and no privacy." I didn't understand, since we were now texting and he lived alone in his apt. (Now, I wonder....maybe he was not living alone?). But....I never got the feeling that he was seeing another woman.

Throughout the rest of 2009 we went back and forth about his lack of emotional assurances. He kept pushing me farther and farther away, by either ignoring my pleas for meager attention, or simply telling me nothing had changed and I had a problem.

Finally, he was to come home for good. I kept hoping and praying that maybe, once we were together again, face to face, we could figure it out and get back to where we were.

He informed me, he was not coming home for good, but only for a visit. I was upset and disappointed. He figured he would need to stay for at least 3 to 6 months.

When he came home for his visit, he informed me that he no longer wanted to live with me, or live on the motor home, where we had lived for 5 years, or travel the USA with me.

He wanted to live in Russia and South America and Australia and New Zealand, and that is how he planned to spend his retirement.

He said he 'wanted to be with me, but would tolerate NO RESTRICTIONS on his ability to travel.'

I told him this was not what we had agreed and committed to 5 years ago, and I wish he had told me sooner. I was not in a position to leave the US permanently and I didn't want to.

I have aging parents and a new granddaughter and I wanted to be with my family, since I had left them 5 years earlier to be with him.

He didn't seem to care, and seemed just as happy to leave me.

I told him I deserved better than this and that he can call the airline and change his ticket, as I was taking him back to the airport. He stayed for 3 days, instead of the week+ as planned.

I have not heard from him since.

I have just started reading up on Narcissism, and from what I have read, this man seems to fall into many, MANY of the categories listed as symptoms.

I know and understand, NOW, that this was NOT MY FAULT! But, I am scared about meeting and starting a relationship with another man. This man was so wonderful to me...by the time I realized what I had gotten myself into, it was too late.

I am now almost 60 years old, and have had to move in with my parents. I have to try to get a job and start my life over.

Part of me feels like such a loser, for not seeing this sooner, but a big part of me knows this was not my fault.

I want to know, how can I get back to the confident, caring, loving TRUSTING woman I was when I met him??? I am very much afraid of falling into this trap again and I don't deserve this!!