Lisa E. Scott

Whoa,,having a hard time all of a sudden,,,freaking out on a memory

Whoa,,having a hard time all of a sudden,,,freaking out on a memory
Posted Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:07

I am having a bit of a freak out,,may sound strange,,but I just remembered being in my exN's car, and finding a ladies brown button in the drivers seat when he got up.

I looked at it, and said, what is this? He said it was from his cargo shorts or something (it was a ladies pants button).

I just realized that this other girl, who worked in the office, always used to wear these brown pants,,I know the brand, and the button because I just got a pair and it all just came together.

I feel sick to my stomach thinking about this. How he sexually harrassed me, bullied me, terrorized me with mind games in the office, and now, it appears he took another girl on also.

She is probably 15 years younger than him.

And she is a sexual I don't know what.

She would talk about explicit sexual things, on the very first day of meeting her (red flag for sure, of something).

She asked if I wanted to attend a party that involved buying sexual toys from her and her girlfriends. Um,,no, thats okay. Really sick (isn't it, or is it just me?)

Now I think she is as much a pathological N as my ex N,,I want to confront him and tell him what a worthless he is,,I want to call his live in OW and tell her to wake up and realize that he is a lying, cheating, downright low life for the way he treats people.

I want to call this poor girl is live in so bad, and tell her to stand up for herself,,it makes me so sick,,don't react,,right,,just throw away the pants,,don't think about it?

‹ He's Happy Now. Will I EVER be Happy Too?? The Inner Landscape of the Psychopath ›

Yep, me too!

Fri, 01/29/2010 - 13:50 — TexN

I was getting in narc's truck one day & found a lipstick. I asked him who's it was & without batting an eye he said it was his friends gf's. They had all gone for a ride. I said, "Who's ever it is, sure likes cheap ugly lipstick". Of course, like a dumb ass, I believed him!

professional cheats

Fri, 01/22/2010 - 08:11 — cynthia

These guys become professional cheaters, some get sloppy and leave evidence around, mine was REAL smart and careful probably because he is 54 and has had a lifetime practice at hiding his infidelities.

When I was the "OW" (thinking of course he was full blown in love with me and he and his GF had problems) I think back now and see how careful he was, making me park my car a block away, checking to see if I didnt lose an ear ring, told me his GF checked up on him all the time to see where he was and what he was doing, Why I didnt see that as a sign she had good cause to not trust him, either she has caught him in the 8 years they have been together, or had found things like you did that werent hers and didnt make sense. She is living with a sexual predator that abuses her behind her back and lies, cons then rapes women on the side promising them a better tomorrow and lying that he is in a terrible relationship. If I ever meet a man that tells me he JUST HAS A GF, it will be bye bye now, have a nice life, you are nothing but a cheat and you will cheat on me too.

Having a GF is the same thing as having a wife, if you were any kind of good man you would first break the ties with your GF if it isnt working that is the only honorable thing to do. Of course your relationship with your GF isnt working because you cheat on her, then you try to justify it by saying but I still love her, and we share a life together I just need to have some different stuff once and awhile, I will translate that right now. I am such a selfish pig and I cant really love anyone and my dick comes first, my primal pleasures above anything else, who cares if it would hurt my GF she will never know, and who cares if I just conned and swindled the OW I dont care or love any of them, I just use them all to get what I want.

Professional actors, cheaters, liars, con men, swindlers, rapists that is the nature of their character, what a contribution to society huh? They use their success and money and job status to hide behind. The little sexy number that yours was messing around with, if she stays with him she will lose all her buttons hope she thinks its worth it.

cynthia

Mon, 02/08/2010 - 22:12 — rache

You are so right! Two thumbs up.You said it perfectly.These men/and, women do NOT respect anyone.Its ALL about them,and,their little feelings.Who wants a piece of sh.t like that in their lives?NOT me! Narcissistic sociopathic psychos.

rache

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 06:25 — Barbara

what's to respect?

to them we're objects... chair, table, you - all the same to them

~~~~~~~~~
The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

Visit My Abuse Website

Cynthia yes,,

Sat, 01/23/2010 - 10:35 — Amazed

Yes they are professional cheats, they do it 24/7 as a way of life.

The story your guy told you, he must tell to others. The refine their craft, and it follows a specific sequence, with all of them.

All of us have had the same pattern, we fell in love with the guy because he was 'down on his luck' his ex was mean to him, she cheated, she never complimented him,,the saga goes on and on.

If they do it in one area of their life, they are doing it in other areas of their life.

Family, friends, business, and self.

Can be extremely devastating to cross paths with these guys.

Stay protected!!!

FAR AWAY FROM THAT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't do it. Let them go be

Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:17 — helpmefromn

Don't do it. Let them go be together and have there own thing-- he is no longer part of your life. That has happened to me too -- I found underwear, condoms, and letters, and he lied about all of them. You will look bad if you say anything. BE ABOVE IT

helpmefromn

Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:28 — Amazed

Oooh,,how did you deal with it, oh that is so terrible,,and to be lied to in your face, having proof, it is awful,,okay,,be above it. You are right. I am above it,,there is so much more to life, great things,,thank you,,I will try my best and keep focused on that.

Well, I didn't figure out

Thu, 01/21/2010 - 21:39 — helpmefromn

Well, I didn't figure out that it was a particular girls button, but I was like why are there 2 pairs of panties in your drawer??! And he laughed and said they were there from when his ex was always at his place.. but it still hurt and was probably a lie, and then he had a love letter on his desk that I found when snooping and he said that he liked the type and the stickers on the envelope and that is why he kept it -- NOT acknowledging my feelings or realizing how it would make me feel to find that. The condoms -- he said they have been in his bag forever -- I could never pin him down because he always had an answer. UNTIL -- the end. When I fould out online that he had a gf for 7 months while we were together. I became an expert FBI agent and figured everything out -- I told him off, and he made the gf take the proof off the internet. Anyway, I cried, and then finally now I realize that he is such an idiot and a jerk and I won't waste any more time on him even though I still think about it

Figure it out

Fri, 01/22/2010 - 00:52 — aceonelady

Well my ex N told me i should be in the X FILES replacing one of the detectives..But something this Scully still didnt figure out and stil bothers me is 2 piece of papers like a blank cashiers receit like you get at any grocery store or superstore with blue inkt stamps on it! one "receit" had a blue inkt stamp of a hunter F*****g a rabbit and the other one was winnie the pooh holding hands with a boy looking at a lake....Beat me what those receits are i asked him about that,he told me i dont know whwt you talking about....But next time i did look they where gone! this is haunting me....went googling for that but still dont know what this was.

They are risks

Thu, 01/21/2010 - 22:49 — Amazed

They are risks to your health.

Amazed

Sat, 01/23/2010 - 21:41 — rache

Yes!My ex N hubby gave me venereal warts and i am being tested for other stds in May.Giving it time to show up(hopefully NOT!)These men do not care who they have sex with or how many=just care that they do.............have their supplies/narcissistic.

Note From 'The Girlfriend'

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 07:55 — The Girlfriend ...

Every time I read a story from someone who discovers her BF actually had a GF all the time they were seeing each other...I often wonder if the GF they are talking about was ME and that the poster is seeing my very own psychopath BF. He is such a practiced cheat...and such a huge liar. Kinda funny. Kinda not though too, cause sometimes I actually wonder if someone here has encountered my psychopathic lying cheating BF and is seeing him too...I am sure it is because we all have such similar stories.

Mine can blow smoke like no one I ever met...while holding the evidence in his hand in front of him. I have caught him in so many lies.

On Christmas we were in bed and the phone rang. Since it was on my side of the bed, I answered it and handed it to my BF because it sounded like his ex-wife. I actually first wished her a 'Merry Christmas'...he talked all friendly for about a minute, and I didn't think anything of it...until he said "Well, Merry Christmas to you too, but I think you have the wrong number'...he had a happy look on his face...and got up and jumped in the shower afterwards. While he was in the shower...I 'star 69'd' the number to get the phone number of the last caller...because he refuses to have phone ID display on our phones (wonder why!!!!)...anyway, I wrote the phone number down and put it in my purse...I thought perhaps it really was his ex-wife (with whom I am friendly) who might have been calling from her parents house out of town.

On New Years...when I was sick upstairs with a terrible flu (H1N1)...he evidently made a call to that same number...because when I came downstairs for some tea...I had heard him whispering on the phone...so later I checked the ID number of the last phone number he called out...and it was that same number! (I cross checked with the number I had written down on Christmas on that little paper in my purse)

I went downstairs to the computer and did a reverse look-up of that number to see who it was...and it was a woman who lives within 5 miles of us...He of course denied everything and went ballistic at me for "checking up on him'...and 'How dare YOU'...blowing a smoke screen so thick so I couldn't see the truth clearly...I was so stressed out, and already very ill with the flu...I got even more upset and ended up in the hospital overnight and sick for 3 weeks after.

This was just ONE of the times I found out about his cheating. I have a list that is too long to recount...such as when 2 young women were parked in our driveway at midnight waiting for him to get home from the trip out of town that we were on, evidently they wanted to confront him, because the OW didn't know that I even existed...and was upset she didn't get to go on the trip with him and suspected he was seeing someone else...she had no idea he had a longterm GF who lived with him....it was as much a shock to her as it was to me...and he actually talked his way out of that situation too...told me to stay in the car...and wait for him while he talked to the girls...and after they drove off (after about 20 min.)...he told me they had gotten lost and he was giving them directions...but it had appeared like he had a heated exchange...a big fight with these girls...Directions my foot!... they probably told HIM where to go!!!

My psychopathic BF is a master cheater. If a person could earn a degree in cheating and lying, and story telling...he would have a PhD. by now.

same here

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 08:03 — Barbara

sometimes I wonder too...

after I introduced Psycho-Boy to a friend of mine in California she stopped speaking to me. At the time there was no reason, and I felt it was sooooo odd but I didn't press it.

He suddenly seemed to have very little time for me. On Feb 13, 2004 he texted my cell at 1 am saying he desperately needed to speak to me. Woke me from a dead sleep. When he called, he sounded so upset. He was practically crying... moaning about his wife... the conversation went on for a long time... during which time he j/o'd while telling me how much he wished he could be with me...

The next day when I saw him online I IM'd him to see if he was feeling better. He was nasty, had no time for me and blocked me!

Fast forward 5 weeks and my friend in California calls me. Turns out he's been having an affair with her. On Feb 13, 2004 - just HOURS before he called me - he was on the phone with her setting up a liaison at a hotel near her while he was there on business (on his employer's dime) and telling her he was going to leave his wife for her eventually and sending her money. The reason he blew me off the very next day? He was online with her! Telling her I was 'obsessed' with him!

And despite the fact we both send proof to his wife and the police sent proof of all the hookers he was SIMULTANEOUSLY seeing and posting about - the wife believed him and has helped in his smear campaigns.

Everytime I hear about someone finding out about an OW - even today 6 years later - I figure he's at it again.

These guys are too compulsive not to be back at it.

Hugs Girlfriend... et al.

~~~~~~~~~
The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

Visit My Abuse Website

They are a different breed of creature aren't they! OMG

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 08:22 — The Girlfriend ...

Thanks for sharing this with me and all of us Babara. They are so practiced at what they do...it is completely dumbfounding. I have been literally sppechless at times when I read what these pathologicals are capable of..and at times when I have been blown away by the behaviors of my own psychopath BF. Sometimes I have actually sat for long periods of time trying to piece things together to make them fit into the stories he would come up with to 'explain' away my suspicions...even in light of clear evidence. And I would eventually let it go and try to trust him...because I wanted to trust him, and I wanted him NOT to be cheating and lying...I wanted to hide the truth from myself too, because it hurt and was overwhelming to me.

How are they SO convincing? We are mostly all educated and accomplished women here...not easy to fool...and yet, they are able to CONvince us we are 'seeing or hearing things'...and that we are suspicious and untrusting shrews and they are innocent and wounded that we doubt them. It is a real study in psychology to stand back and really observe these guys in action.

A friend said that I seemed more curious about my psychopath than 'in love'...and I have to admit that this is true. I am NOT in love with him at all anymore. there is a bond that is hard to break...

I have a friend who wants me to move back home to the USA and wants us to open a private investigations office (she already has her license) so we can specialize in dating background checks to help people date smart and safer...we also want to write a few articles on the subject and maybe go to the high school level and give a lecture or 2 about how to be safe and smart when dating...to learn the red flags and not ignore them. I could certainly show what happens when you choose to ignore the red flags. That's for sure! If I could do something to help others out of this experience, I would like to do that too.

Hugs back atcha!

Girlfriend

Tue, 02/09/2010 - 08:27 — Barbara

you have a 'betrayal bond' - search that term...

how do they do it? hypnosis...

come back to the USA - tell your friend about this: http://www.datesmart.com/

~~~~~~~~~
The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

Visit My Abuse Website