I was right about that online creep

I was right about that online creep
Posted January 20, 2010 - 12:19am
0

After taking a break from that site I got an email today from the admin saying it was safe to return as the member had left on his own and they did not get time to send him an email because he was gone and they could not discuss it further(sounded odd)

So, I say what the heck venture onto the site... go thru the member list to see who was online... like I usually do.. well wouldnt you know it the creep is still THERE...blacked out his profile pic and changed his screen name.

AND after saying he left the site was logged in!!!

Well, I freak out- and email and text the admins.. and then decide to blog about what a safe site is.

so the kreep would know I was onto him...ewwwwww.

Well, the one admin gets upset with me and starts there usually rebutally (not going to let you get away with this, posts)

After all that drama fest was done they did ban him finally, but still both now dont feel that he was a threat(even though the one had agreed previously) but he crossed the line finally when he changed his profile to a fake one.

So there you have it WE all were spot on with this guy. and he came back like they do to see what was going on with the site. Makes me sick

what I learned is you cant convince people who havent gone thru what we have... they just see us as over reacting.
That being said I might just have saved someone from being preyed upon.

No normal 40 year old would hide behind a fake profile.

Oh and I found out his one goodbye email... said something like..I might as well leave since I upset someone that was so nice (puke)

Thanks everyone...but what a looong nite... taking a huge break from that site I was helping with... they just dont get me.

‹ Types of Emotional Abuse jon and kate plus 8 ›
4joys4's picture

I find what you said so

January 20, 2010 - 12:16pm — 4joys4

I find what you said so true. You have to experience this yourself, unfortunately, to gain that 6th sense about people who abuse.

Carolyn's picture

There is not a lot of

January 20, 2010 - 9:34am — Carolyn

There is not a lot of justice in dealing with these men but you went to a lot of effort to send him teh message that women are not powerless. the answer given to women is they should never have gotten into a relationship with a bad man. That is not the answer there are a lot of really bad men out there. It is easy to preach caution but they don't initially present themselves as bad quite the opposite. It is hard to tell the lambs from the wolves. Can he contact you again and keep this bouncing? I live in a country where there isn't a lot of cyber sophistication. I don't know FB from a banana so I am not too sophisticated about on-line things. Barbara is really sharp in this area be sure and check out possibilities with her if he starts bugging you or cyber stalking you.

destiny's picture

Im glad I have ALL of you

January 20, 2010 - 3:25pm — destiny

Im glad I have ALL of you here- one of the admins of the site is still prodding and poking at me about me over reacting... I told her FINE google the creep see if there is a free public record online search for his county... he told me an xgf almost took out a restraining order on him. sheesh.

This wasnt FB... but a networking site similar, but all our personal ID's are only kept by the admin. Who only has them so creep wont join. I doubt he can find me.

It is just the principle that they said I was over reacting and choose to argue with me about it..

the admin today said if she got the msgs I did from him she would have giggled and shared it with her friends.

I explained again it was the Pattern.... all the emails together with the masturbating comment..

All, I know is thanks to this board...and My Narc..I escaped. who knows what type of guy he is... one admin says he keeps her on the phone...and calls and leaves msgs like' oh i thought you would be around I have questions" she herself said it made her feel like he was forcing her to talk.

sigh

thanks for the support here... I am so thankful for this site.

heck atleast this took my mind off Narc!

“It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”

AnotherPath's picture

What she doesn't get is,

January 20, 2010 - 6:07pm — AnotherPath

What she doesn't get is, these men are actually very dangerous and abuse is not funny, she has no clue and it's a shame you're having to defend yourself and educate her too.

destiny's picture

AnotherPath- I agree she

January 21, 2010 - 1:23am — destiny

AnotherPath- I agree she seems to just see the words he wrote to me...not the pattern. and bc in her life she has heard worse...it wasnt offensive... everyone but the two admins is on my side... so they are the ones with issues.

I sorta wish I had just let the creep on the site and just left... eventually he would have done something to one of them.

actually i think both are being defensive because they feel guilty for letting him on the site...and I was right about him. They kept reinforcing if it was me over him he would have gotten booted off.

Just too bad it had to come to fighting and defending.... sheesh.

Im so not used to that since not being with Narc... although it wasnt nearly as bad as fights I had with the Narc.

another path it is not funny at all...a few are saying were is the support for destiny and what she just went thru. sigh.

atleast I have this site

“It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”

Barbara's picture

destiny

January 20, 2010 - 6:45pm — Barbara (not verified)

send her the bit on blame shifting I just sent you

and/or this link: http://www.outofthefogsite.com/CommonBehaviors.html

its a pattern and she needs to respect YOUR boundaries - you don't have to keep explaining yourself to them and she needs to stop harassing you about it

she isn't you. she isn't suffering from PTSD like you and if she doesn't respect that she shouldn't be dealing with ill people at all.

How's this:

Dear Admin:

I am going to ask just once you cease & desist from MINIMIZING the actions of XXXXX and chiding me for taking appropriate steps to bring this to your attention.

I not only suffer from XXXX but also PTSD from having been involved with a person JUST LIKE THIS man. Whether I am over or under reacting is not for you to say. I will no longer be bullied by your accusations.

I will consider any further scolding or MINIMIZING from you as harassment. I stick by what I said about him. He's merely changed his nickname so be aware. I will not respond or explain myself to you again and will forward any further correspondence from you about this on to the proper channels.

Thank you,
destiny

bcc: all the other admins

~~~~~~~~~
The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

Visit My Abuse Website

destiny's picture

thanks Barbara

January 21, 2010 - 1:18am — destiny

that is excellent...wish I had read this sooner.... but I will save this because I have a feeling the other admin is going to say something to me. others on the site chimed in on my behalf about it siding with me.... seems the one admin took something she felt I said and just focused so much on that...and no matter if I told her it wasnt true or the others also said that....she just wouldnt get it. So, I gave up. It just aint worth my time.
Plus admins now passed on his ID info to me for me to see if indeed he is an online predator(working on that tomorrow)

but the letter you drafted was perfect.,,, Just wish I had it sooner. things have died down for now and I am off the site...possibly permanantly despite them all saying how much I am needed there. ah well. I say their loss.

thanks again for writing that.

“It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”

Barbara's picture

destiny

January 20, 2010 - 12:49am — Barbara (not verified)

you should read all these links here:

http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2008/07/daniel-jacoby-dan-jacoby.html

Sounds SO much alike!! Including the aftermath on the support board

I hope you post his ass on the exposure sites - to warn others.

~~~~~~~~~
The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

Visit My Abuse Website

destiny's picture

Barbara- just a quick reply

January 20, 2010 - 12:53am — destiny

Barbara- just a quick reply getting ready to eat...but I dont know his real name...just first name. I did find his ID on yahoo though. Admins know his name, but of course they dont think the guy is a threat.. but the guy told me his x almost filed a restraining order...i bet if they looked into him that they would really find out what he is... my guess is he has RO filed against him if not more.

wheeeeeeeew I dodged a bullet. way worse than XN for sure. XN wouldnt even think to do anything like this guy did. and admin saying the guy was just lonely and starved for female comfort (puke)

I will read the links later.

“It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”

Barbara's picture

destiny

January 20, 2010 - 12:56am — Barbara (not verified)

the admin needs to answer the clue phone.

maybe send her/ him those links too.

SICKO - far too many predators behind a keyboard. TOO MANY

off to bed as soon as my pain killer kicks in...

~~~~~~~~~
The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

Visit My Abuse Website