helpmefromn's story

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 3 - 9PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

helpmefromn's story

It's so good that we remind ourselves what the lesson in all of it is. I am still so stunned at how things unfolded for me. This guy is Yale educated, super handsome, and popular and the biggest con-artist out there-- I knew that while we were together but he hid the evil under his looks and education and being friends with celebrities.

He would react so defensively if I said something as stupid as 'your bathroom needs cleaning', and when I called him out on loving fashion and looking in the store windows reflection, he told me to stop scrutinizing him.

But I found out that he cheated on me, and this is what hurts the most. He had this girl lined up because when I finally broke it off, he freaked out, cried his crocodile tears and all, but then found out he had a new gf thru a friend of friend. Ok, I managed to handle that because after all we were broken up, right??

Well, I found out her name -- she is 20 years old - he is 30 and I found pictures of him on her facebook dating back to March. I called him out on it, and guess what happened..... 2 days later, the facebook account was deleted! He manipulated her into taking it off, I presume. I am so hurt, and now I get why he could never say 'i love you', and i get why he would always get me to apologize for everything, and why even after i said, DONE, he barely tried to get me back... but i need to know that this won't be forever..

I feel so infected by him. I never want to talk to him again, but secretly want him to call so I can ignore him

this 20 year old he is seeing is stunning, a model, and then some and a LEO like him.. and I feel ill thinking they are happy together.

Mar 20 - 4PM
angela0714
angela0714's picture

Him a Judge??? No way!

Believe me, she's 20, so it'll a bit longer for her to figure it out. Happiness is fleeting when you're with a man like that. He will do to her, what she did to you. No matter how beautiful and young she is. NARC'S are secretly very insecure and need to belittle, criticize and degrade. THEY NEED TO BE RIGHT!!! Everyone else is an idiot. Trust me. Sounds like you're fairly young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Block his e-mails, his # from your cell. (I did this a month ago) It feels powerful. And I'll admit, I didn't want to know if he wasn't calling me or trying to contact me. It hurt too much. This will allow you to focus on getting used to not having him in your life. Remember how horrible he made you feel. Remember the times you couldn't stand his "Holier than thou and smater than everyone mentality." You deserve so much better than that and you'll get it ...but keep him away. Good LUCK Angela
Jan 4 - 8AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Welcome helpmefromn

Welcome... get into therapy with a TRAUMA COUNSELOR IMMEDIATELY - call a DV Center if you need to get an advocate ASAP to get this man completely out of your life - NOW - PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - PLEASE read the stories of others on SHARE YOUR STORY. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do! Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. It will also help you see the pattern of their INCURABLE PATHOLOGY. Your story is very very common. - PLEASE read through our whole blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing Please read all the Rules prior to posting, as well - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's left you with!! BLOCK HIS EMAILS, IMs and TEXTS change your phone & cell numbers NO CONTACT! Get to a PTSD/ trauma counselor ASAP... Healing takes a MINIMUM of 18 months (with TOTAL NC) and you will need support & help from a professional. Please get it ASAP. Do not date before 18 months has passed! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 4 - 7AM
ForeverLearning
ForeverLearning's picture

Hang In There

Well, you have come to the right place to learn alot and begin to heal from the anger, sadness and disappointment. Now that you (like all of us here) are becoming aware of the many types of terrible and dangerous personality disorders that exist, including Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sex Addicts, and the dreaded Psychopaths.... hopefully you will be able to avoid these messed up folks in the future, so they can't hurt you ever again. Keep reading ALL the incredible information on this website, and spread the word, so others can learn about these disorders too, and can hopefully be spared from the pain and agony of being in a relationship with these beasts. In your journey in this life, may you gain knowledge and find peace. God bless.
Jan 3 - 10PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

They aren't happy together.

They aren't happy together. It is always the same. She is 20 so he figures it will take her longer to get it-if they think that way. I am sure you feel infected you were invovled with a 'prince' who should have been a great catch as he has everything but he is crazy and mean. The Yale education opens a lot of doors but he can't win. In the end they do this big blow up and lose everything. You were lucky to get out. don't worry about this monster some day you will hear some drama about him and you will know he is on the road to blowing himself up.
Jan 3 - 10PM (Reply to #6)
helpmefromn (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

blowing up? like has

blowing up? like has nothing?
Jan 3 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
helpmefromn (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

You are a gem, thanks so

You are a gem, thanks so much for saying that . I often imagine the Prince Yale boy winning and I curse God, but I will trust and be patient. I have blocked him and broke up with a mutual friend so no contact, but I don't want good for him, and I am working with that anger. Everyone says that -- I was so smart to get out.
Jan 3 - 10PM
helpmefromn (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Also, I will add that I

Also, I will add that I cannot help feeling like he is the ultimate 'judge' -- his ways are so cunning and at times I played his game with him, and I think that is why we were together for 3 years -- long time for both of us -- I was a challenge to him, but it was only to see if he could win, and in the end he completely destroyed my self-esteem.. I hate him so much. He acts so aggressive and then aloof and only reached out when he needed something and then would disappear if things were going well.
Jan 4 - 4AM (Reply to #2)
grossot
grossot's picture

helpmefromn

I know that desperate feeling that he is the ultimate 'judge'. He used to remind me all the time that we are 'the judges of the earth'. He used to literally get on stage at church and preach. Mostly about prosperity and how we need to expect that God wants us to have money and power. (Sigh) My shrink suggested I blow up a picture of him to poster size so I can practice staring him down (I have to see him twice/mo. as we have a child) In my journal I wrote his name as large as the paper and my name in the center of the paper very tiny. I felt he was so much bigger than me. But I feel I'm seeing things for what they really are now.....HE IS NOT IN CONTROL....HE IS NOT BIGGER THAN LIFE....HE IS NOT HUMAN. Be kind to yourself. Do things you enjoy. Journal. Pray. Meditate/ Exercise. Love life. Sometimes that's hard to do. also, be sure to get a good therapist who understands Narcissism and low dose anti depressants help. stay in touch http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview nolongercontrolled
Jan 4 - 7AM (Reply to #3)
ForeverLearning
ForeverLearning's picture

He Preached About Money and Power?

I feel pretty sick that your Narcissist Ex preached in a church about how God wanted us to have money and power. It reminds me how many people who are in positions of power within religious organizations, are often delusional, lack integrity and compassion, and morals - and sometimes have severe personality disorders! Not to mention some of the priests who have betrayed the trust of children. I hate it when Psychopaths rise to a position of power within a religious organization. So dangerous to the good people who are there seeking guidance, friendship and/or a "second family". The Psychopath "BTK Killer" was a big shot & high ranking official at the Lutheran Church he attended in Kansas for over 30 years, was a Deacon and even elected President of the Lutheran Congregational Council. He was also a Cub Scout Leader, and installed security systems in people's homes for a living........ In other words, he was a master at gaining people's trust. It's hard to even fathom their ego and how dangerous these mentally ill / personality disordered people really are.