Becoming Sane's story
Becoming Sane's story
Not really " my story" But my my first post ,I have many stories to tell that are so similiar to the ones already told here but here is what's bothering me today:
First of all My NH was already married twice to " crazy lying women" who took advantage of him: yet he was still involved with the 2nd X for a good year and half after we married and I realised about ten years ago that he most likely was sleeping with her when we were dating, though I shushed that voice that clued me in.
Used sex manipulatively : I was told "I love it when you initiate it " he wanted me to pursue him so he could turn me down or rebuff me ,he is a night owl so we dont go to bed at the same time (another trait),I've lost track of the times I went to bed wearing sexy lingerie only to be woken up and told WE are not having sex for whatever reason , he developed a headache , didn't feel like it , wasn't in the mood now.... oh and this one "wanted to let me sleep" WTF? then why the hell are you waking me up ??? It got so bad about five years ago because after he had woken me up to " not" have sex I would lie there seething, frustrated and upset and unable to go back to sleep. so I finally told him "don't EVER wake me up to tell me we are not having sex again ! I will certainly be aware of it in the morning."
Another thing is wanting sex when he knows I'm on my period and neither of us likes that, but he has me get him off orally anyways (or he tries to talk me into anal) then says "oh it's not the same" and like it's such a hardship for him to not have "real sex" yea right ...I realized a while ago he LOVES getting off this way (he also uses the old its not what I really want ploy as he pushes my head down there)I became more stealth about hiding my cycles from him and it's been months that he has approached me sexually and no I haven't missed him coming around to my side of the bed and flopping his dick on me after he has been up late looking at who knows what on the Internet. I mean like that's supposed to really ring my bell right? Heres my dick aren't you turned on?
So we are not having sex yet I find a recent link on his computer called "controlled orgasm training" hmmmm I'm sure that just popped up by accident right?rolls eyes.
oh and the lying.... everything from secret bank accounts to what time he got home, to how he slept and what he ate. The article on here about NOT giving the Narc the benefit of the doubt and assuming he IS lying instead of telling the truth (always)helped me immensely .This website has helped me so much because for so many years I tryed to make sense of it all ,and now I dont ask the WHY and what can I do to fix this (since everything was always my fault ) now I know it was all about him ,always ,every day,every minute,.
Omg!
That whole 'flopping there
So Sorry
Begining to understand.
I can so relate
becoming sane
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