alfrebob's story

I want to tell you a little bit about my baby's father. 50 years in a few sentences so I hope you will understand the full story.

He got married at 20. Married for 8 months. Assaulted his wife, she got a restraining order against him and aborted his baby.

At 21 he got bowel cancer. Survived but lost both his hips which were replaced with artificial ones.

At 24 he married again. Three kids. When his kids were 16, 14 and 11 they encouraged their mother to get him out of their lives. He had been so abusive to their mother and them they could no longer tolerate it.

Used to keep the kids awake all night so they could not sleep

Shouting at them that he wished they had been aborted

Wishing them dead constantly

All slept in room with mum as thought he was going to murder them

Screamed foul abusive language at them

Hit their mother in front of them

Threw kids clothes out the window

His youngest would physically throw up with fright

Devaluing them calling them prats, thick, cu**s, test tube monkeys

They were all referred by the GP for psychiatric help.

8 months after wife number 2 threw him out I met him on the internet. Wow he was wonderful. I was so proud. What a fantastic man. How could his ex wife be so cruel to stop him seeing his kids? I did everything to help him. We even went to the pub were she used to go and I was so proud to be there with him. Him wanting to see his kids dominated our life and was the reason why he was so moody with me. I even wrote a letter for him when he was going to court. He lost!!

That was then my fault because he was insistent that the judge had said I had spoiled things by sending endless letters to his wife when I had not. What a reaction that caused.

I kept finding out about other women he was declaring his love to on the internet without even meeting them. Finished with him loads of times but then he would text me to say he had cancer, fallen down the stairs, taken an overdose, his daughter had made contact and he wanted to tell me about it, he loved me, missed me>>>> blah, blah

I did everything to make him better. Moved him in with me and my kids. Then sold the house 18 months into our relationship, and put all the money into one with his name on it also. Would make him feel more secure.

Within 5 weeks of buying house with him I was living in a refuge with my kids. Got a court order against him but he promised to change so did not attend second hearing.

2 months later another court order, same thing again.

2 months later 3rd court order but this time court ordered a welfare report on my kids so social services became involved. This time he left the property.

I meet up with him. He promises to get help. Begs me to make him feel like a proper father and asks me to have a baby. I can't believe that I actually fell pregnant.

It was at this time that I found all the paperwork from his past two wives and kids that he left behind in a filing cabinet in our house.

His vindictiveness knew no bounds. I refused to abort the baby so he set out to destroy my life. Lost home, job, money and car….but kept my kids and had a beautiful baby.

Two months after making me and the kids homeless he met another lady on the internet. Bought a business with the money he got from me. She gave up her friends, family (two grown sons), and job to move in with him within 6 weeks of meeting him. She is now his company secretary.

She writes to me nasty emails saying I am a vindictive, unbalanced human being for not letting him see the baby. She says he won’t go to court because he cannot afford it and he is a changed man and does not need past raked up.

12 months later they are still living together and she insists he is a changed man and still continues to email me that she has helped him to see things more objectively and that he is changed because he is now in the right relationship with her.

Yet he emails me and blames me for everything. Refuses to pay maintenance, send birthday or xmas presents to his son.

I have sent her copies of all that he has done to me and the others yet she insists he is different with her.

How can this be? Why did he not change for me and the baby? It hurts so much. I cannot even begin to tell you all the things he done to me.

BTW the last two emails from her email address do not appear to be from her as they are in his language and style.