Lisa E. Scott

Moving On

Moving On
Posted Fri, 10/23/2009 - 14:58

If its been a few days or weeks, you're probably not ready to move on - but if it's been MONTHS? or YEAR?... read on:

the person who refuses to acknowledge that they had a loss or refuses to do any work that they need to do on themselves. They repress all the hurt and anger and go on to repeat the same mistakes over and over again with the same type of people. They might do some emoting in the beginning but they either go on as if nothing happened or stay stuck in a surface malaise. Nothing is really bad but nothing is really good either. They are maintaining and life is not about maintaining. Life is about living.

by Susan J. Elliott, J.D. @ GPYP

Read and respond to this whole GREAT post here:
http://gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/deciding-to-move-on-...

‹ Healing Retreats - Update May 1, 2010 The Narcissist's Strange Relationships ›

Moving on

Sat, 05/01/2010 - 20:21 — Susan32

One of my friends told me it would be EASIER for me to move on, because my ex-N didn't have any feelings for me. I was devastated. Here was a man I thought I had come to know over 3 years, listen to his stories, develop empathy--but it was my friends who warned me that I was his beard (not to look straight, but to look human) and that he was using me.

I'm enjoying a happier life now. I don't miss his negativity. I don't miss his constant complaining. He can still ask,"Why are you so happy?" But he'll have to find out so himself. He's a damn philosopher! He's supposed to f*&&*king know!

Misery Loves Company

Sun, 03/14/2010 - 08:29 — seancunningham

If they target nice people maybe it's because they know they can never get to that plateau in life. They try everything in their power to bring us down to their level. When they get us there, their job is done and they leave, letting us pick up the pieces of our broken lives.

They get us to a point where we're unsure of ourselves, lack self esteem, and make us emotionally disabled, just like themselves.

Look at how abnormal that is. They orchestrate our mental health to mirror their's. If that isn't deranged, I don't know what is. I sought therapy and medication because I thought I was the sick one. He was in therapy and on medication. I had my stuff together before I met the zero.

Since I got rid of the moron, I stopped therapy, thankfully I needed no medication, and realized I still AM 100%. . I just needed the lunatic out of my life. That's when life got back to normal again.

Someone Elses Problem

Sat, 03/13/2010 - 06:51 — seancunningham

Thanks Wallaby!!

The spell has worn off. I've been de-programming myself to see him as evil and a waste. It wasn't real. It was an act. That has helped. When they move on to another source, we need to see that we've been saved. The problem now belongs to someone else. It's futile to warn the other person. The N has probably told them that we were the ones at fault. In fact, that's getting involved again. Don't succumb to getting hoovered in. Free your mind. Get yourself well. The replacement will eventually figure it out. If they don't, so be it.

There is Hope After The Narc

Fri, 03/12/2010 - 15:43 — seancunningham

Well All,

It's been a little over a month and NC. I'm doing better. I've accepted the fact that the whole thing with N was fake. That has helped a great deal. The other day someone asked me if I'd go back if he asked.

The answer to that is a BIG NO. Going back means putting up with double abuse. He will make you pay for the "hurt" you put him through. Remember that. They're vengeful. My self esteem has been steadily going up....I'm not yet fully there. I've started jogging again, and I feel great. I'm looking forward to the future again.

Never lose hope for the future. Just keep reminding yourselves that it isn't you. These people are short circuited and mal-adjusted. Their emotion levels are that of a 5 year old. They hate joy, love, and compassion. In short, they hate life.

Whenever I feel shaky, I come back here and read the posts on the message board. They put everything in perspective for me. This site is dedicated to the suffering and the survivors.

Very Well Said Sean

Sat, 03/13/2010 - 20:13 — ForeverLearning

There IS HOPE after the Narc. Well said.

And remember, hope floats!

Indeed you nailed it when you said, Narcs hate joy, love, and ESPECIALLY compassion. They do hate life, and they really hate those who try to enjoy life and make the best of it. They hate nice people. They target nice people most often.
Along with lonely, suffering and vulnerable people.

Anyways, there IS HOPE after the Narc. God bless.

Glad to hear you're doing well

Sat, 03/13/2010 - 03:27 — wallaby

And it is true - that coming back to this site in times of N duress is a godsend. I hope you don't have to see yours too much if he hooks up with the neighbor guy.